Belle’s POV
My back landed over a soft cushion. Reign was still on top of me, I didn’t want her to pull away but she did. My whole body is quivering because of all the anger and pain that I am feeling. I can’t even get myself to study the room I’m in right now since I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Reign remained seated on my side. I’m pretty sure she just doesn't know what to do. But that’s fine. Her presence is enough to make me feel better. The space on my side suddenly lightened. Reign is going to stand up but I held onto her shirt before she could completely remove herself from the soft cushion that we are on now.
"Can you please not go anymore?" I begged. I realized now that we are in a very dark room since I could barely see Reign’s face. "I don't know why yet but I need you. It's more than just because you treat me as a person. It's more than that but I am still not sure why. I hate it so much when you leave.” I sniffed.
Reign tried to carefully remove my grip from her shirt.
“It's so easy for you to go, run away, and move on. After all, a few months means nothing to you but it's not the same with me. Those few months mean a lot to me. In this short human life that I have. I don't know what I did as Joanna but I'm sorry. But I'm not her anymore. I’m Belle. I'm not Joanna," I cried harder.
She leaned herself back close to me and raised my head by placing her finger on my chin to tip it upward. "I know. I'm sorry." She stares into my eyes. She wiped off the tears with the back of her hand. "I'm not going anywhere." She removed my hands off her shirt.
"I thought–"
"Shhh. I’m just going to grab a cloth to wipe your face with." She stood up and opened a cabinet.
I studied the room. "It's too dark in here."
"Welcome to my world." She smiled timidly. She went back to the bed and sat close to me. She fixes the cloth and softly wipes my face with it.
"Wh-where are we?"
"My bedroom," she answered. She has stopped wiping my face. Her eyes gazed around the whole room. "This has been my home for the last sixty years after leaving the countryside."
"Oh," I lowered my head. I don’t have the energy to continue a conversation. I don’t have the energy to become a snoop even though there are a lot of questions running in my head right now.
"Should I take you home?" Her tone is not the usual I hear. It’s softer.
I shook my head.
"Your mother will be worried."
"The angels are going to probably just clone me again like they did in my debut. A lifeless version of me that will act like me so it will be an easier clean up like nothing happened."
"I'm still sorry about that day. You should have enjoyed that."
I shook my head. "That day changed my whole life forever and I'm not regretting it."
Reign became silent. She was thinking about something. I wonder what it’s about. "Just take a rest. Lay your back now and close your eyes."
"The bed is big enough. Are you not going to sleep?"
"The body is not tired to sleep."
"Please?" I laid down on the bed but provided a space for her.
She was contemplating it but laid beside me in the end.
I was hesitant to grab her arm at first but I was more afraid for her to leave me again while I slept so I embraced her arm instead. I waited for her to pull it back or remove my grasp from her but she didn’t so I tightened my grip on it. Then I closed my eyes.
--
I'm not sure if it's already morning because when I opened my eyes it was still dark. Though I'm not sure if any sunlight comes inside the room. I took this moment to examine the room once more. It’s almost empty. There’s a desk at the far corner where drawing materials are placed but it looks like it has never been used for a while. Everything else is black. The only thing that isn’t is the wooden floor but the color is dark brown and it’s the same as the door. Then the dim light coming from the wall lights.
Reign is still lying beside me. She has her eyes closed and an arm on top of her head. The other arm remained on the side but I think the only reason why it's in there is that I was still embracing it. I wanted to let go of it but I decided not to. I moved closer to her and placed my head over her shoulder instead.
"Awake?" A raspy voice asked.
"Kinda," I answered.
"We cannot stay in this room forever."
"Why?"
"This place is full of demons. If they figure out that a human soul is in here there will be chaos. More than that, you’re the Holy Soul." She removed her arm from the top of her head and turned herself to the side so we would face each other. "How are you feeling?"
"Empty. There's a lot of things going on in my head which makes my brain too full to think."
She raised her hand and was contemplating if she should touch my face.
"Why?"
"My hands are too cold for your skin."
I helped her lower it to my face so I could also feel her touch. Surprisingly, it's not as cold as I remember. It’s warmer now. Like a human.
"I could remove it if you want."
"No. It's fine." I moved closer to her, allowing her to wrap her hand that was touching my face around me instead and pull me closer to her. When she’s this close, I could smell the mint but it’s being overpowered by the smell of roses. So I sniffed more.
“What are you doing?” Her tone sounded very confused.
I tugged her shirt closer.
“You’re really strange.”
I hid my smile.
We were like that for a while. I didn’t want to ruin the moment though I am still kind of mad with what she did the last time she left but she’s so nice right now that she even brought me to this place even though it’s dangerous. It’s probably risky for her. I still have lots of questions, especially regarding Joanna or who I was to Reign.
“You’ve got lots of questions, don’t you?” She asked as if I just blurted out my thoughts.
I nodded.
“Fire away, sniffles.”
I smiled at the given nickname for the day. Should I ask her now? Would it now ruin this moment?
“You want to ask about Joanna, don’t you?”
I furrowed my brows, “am I that transparent?”
“Kind of.”
“Fine. Who is Joanna?”
She took a breath before speaking. "Joanna...was the woman I loved."
I tried to calm my breathing to hear her properly. I am still trying to hide my face from her view. I don’t want my expression to affect the way she wants to tell the story.
"It was quite scandalous at that time. But we didn’t care. Or so I thought. Everything was going fine between us although we never revealed our relationship to anyone but I think our families got a hint. I remember one time we would go to this cafe and just let time pass by or we let men buy us drinks for free and just…” she chuckled. “Or we would spend time together in her room or my room and just be together…” Her voice faded.
“As you know already, I was sick. At first, I thought it was a normal cough but it worsened. I need to be brought to the hospital. No one is allowed to visit me. No one else is allowed to get close to me. I was dying in that bed. I was scared. I wanted to do so much more. With my life. With her. But my body couldn’t do it anymore. Even raising a hand is a heavy task. The doctor told me it was because I was exposed to people using cigars. I can’t blame my mother or father for it.
Then the Superior appeared when I could barely open my eyes. I sold my soul to him. I didn't think about the consequences but all I know is I want more. I want to live longer. Have more time with her. More time in life. Then if I feel fulfilled, I will succumb to death. I went back home immediately after selling my soul. Went to see Joanna only to find out that she just got married. I was only gone for a month. How did all that happen in a month? I felt so betrayed. I was in pain. My pain turned into despair. Despair turned into hate. Hate turned into anger. I was so mad at everything. At myself. Why did I sell my soul for nothing? Now I have this eternal torture of having to maintain this body.”
I played with the top button of her shirt. I’m trying to let every word she says sink into my mind.
“But even so, I know I am not ready to die. I'm not prepared for it. I'm too scared to face it. I thought having enough anger in my heart would help me have the courage to finally accept death. Yet, fear consumed me and now I'm still here. Going all over it again. I'm not sure if meeting you twice in my lifetime is right.” She sighed and continued. “I didn't want to go through the same pain again. It was so hard for me that I lost myself. That's why I pushed you away and I hid myself from you.”
I bit my lower lip.
“But yesterday, I also understood your pain. You're right. You are not Joanna anymore. You're Belle. And Belle is bringing happiness to my life right now. I am still scared of death. But I am scared for a different reason. I am scared that you might not have enough time here so that I could spend it with you. I'm scared that I might not have enough wishes to fulfill and this body will suddenly wither on the spot. I'm scared that I'm wasting time by running away. Pushing you away. Pulling myself away from you. I'm trying to fix things but I only end up messing with it even more."
I rested my hand on her face so I could wipe the tears from her eyes. Vulnerability was something Reign has always been trying to run away from but here she is being that in front of me. "I still have at least fifty years or sixty or more and I want to spend all of it with you."
She grinned but her eyes shows that she was not a single bit approving of my decision. “You should spend the rest of your life who could actually make you happy, Belle.”
“But you’re the one who is making me happy.”
She shook her head, “no.”
“Stop pushing and pulling yourself from me, Reign. Just go with it. Don’t hold back anymore.”
“But–”
I landed a kiss on her lips. I don't know if she's going to return it, push me away or just ignore it but I'm doing it anyway.
Her hand that was resting on my back pushed me closer to her. Then with her other arm. She helped herself up so that she could be on top of me. She continued to kiss me deeper as we sunk into the bed even more. After a long and deep kiss, she released my lips as we both tried to catch our breath.
I studied her eyes. I cannot see anything in it but my reflection. Only me. "What? Why’d you stop?" I mouthed.
"Nothing." She lowered her lips to mine once more and pressed me deeper onto the bed.
I reached for her back and drew my way towards the buttons of her shirt.
She stopped kissing me again. "Really?" She asked.
"I’m not forcing you if you don't want to."
"This body...of yours...it's eighteen, right?"
"And this is twenty-two, right? Because there’s no way I’m gonna do it with a living relic."
She lowered herself back to me and continued to kiss my neck.
--
I laid my head on Reign's chest while both of her arms were over my back. I continued to examine her room. The whole place feels empty even when it's full of things. I would've felt lonely in this room.
"We really can't stay here." Reign reminded me.
"The angels will surely be waiting at my house like before."
"I think I know another place."
"Full of demons?"
"No. A former witch's house."
I frowned, "any normal day I would've been shocked and asked if such is actually real but I just had sex with a half-demon so what's real and what's isn't anymore, right?"
"The witch is dead but the protective spells she had placed in that house are pretty strong. I go there whenever I want to go underground. Away from the angels' radar."
"There's such a thing?"
She nodded. She sat up. "We need to move before Jasmine gets aware of your presence."
"Jasmine?" That name again.
"She's the assigned receptionist of the apartment. Though her power is quite raspy because of old age, she's still the one who taught me everything I know about being a demon." Reign went towards her closet and took out some clothes. She threw a set of clothes on the bed. "I liked that fashion show you participated in."
"You left early." I’m still disappointed about that.
"I was pulling myself away."
"I felt strong wearing that kind of clothes. The angst, you know?"
She smiled. Genuinely. "Yeah."
I took a shower first while Reign prepared things in her room. She said that if she’s going to go hiding alone, she could just simply go now but since I’m a human, there’s going to be a lot of preparation that needs to be done.
I wore the clothes that Reign lent me. I like this style. It’s comfortable but intimidating at the same time. I got out of the bathroom and saw Reign sitting on the bed with one bag on the floor.
“We need to buy food,” she said.
I frowned. “For me?”
“I just felt my stomach growling. It’s hungry now. Weird because usually, it takes at least another week before I get hungry again.” Then she yawned. “Or sleepy.” She frowned.
“Erm,” I pressed my lips tight.
“Huh. Hundred years of living and I just figured out this body’s weakness.”
We went to the same fast-food chain we went to last time. Hopefully, if I meet that ‘fashion’ student she would realize I look better than her.
“What are you ordering?” I asked her. She’s carrying the bag with one shoulder while I intertwine my fingers in her free hand.
“I could order any shitty food and I wouldn’t react. I can’t taste anything, remember?”
“Your tongue says otherwise earlier.” I teased.
She wrinkled her brows. “Ah, right. I’m with a naughty kid. I forgot.”
“You seem to enjoy it.”
“And I’m not going to do it again.”
“What?” I slapped her arm. It’s our turn to finally order. She went forward and while she was in the middle of saying our orders, I leaned a little bit closing the distance between my lips and her ears I whispered, “Best sex I ever had.” Then I pulled myself away.
She paused in the middle of talking to the person behind the counter. She swallowed and tried to clear her throat. “Erm...and then…”
“One burger with fries on the side.” I continued.
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