Belle’s POV
I honestly cannot believe that Reign made this decision. When did she think of it? What made her accept it that fast? Realizing now, I don't really know what Is going on in her head. She never speaks about herself unless I ask her but even so, her answers are limited.
She loves me, that’s what she said. She decided all of that because she loves me.
I look at her as we lay on the bed. She fell asleep as soon as she laid her back on the bed.
It seems like the only answer that the angels want me to do is to pull myself away from her and forget her.
This face? I have to forget this face? The thought of it breaks my heart. Not reincarnating is one thing. Living a cursed life is another thing. And being forgotten as if you never existed is another definite thing. Suddenly, you never existed. You're just a speck of dust that lived a short life in this world. I don't think I could accept that fate for Reign. I don't think I could ever accept that. She deserves more.
I finally fell asleep because of the overwhelming silence of the room and when I opened my eyes, the room was already bright and Reign was no longer in bed. In fact, she's not anywhere around the house. I took a glimpse of the outside through the windows and realized that Reign's Superior is right. There are angels outside. There is no physical body but you could feel their presence. There's a vague shadow too. I took some old fabrics and tried my best to cover all the windows to keep them out of sight.
"What are you doing?" Reign appeared in the corner.
"Where have you been?"
She raised a bottle with black smoke in it. "Just in case." She took a wish from a person again.
"I'm covering up all the windows."
"You are feeling them too?"
I nodded.
She helped me cover all the windows. She also prepared candle holders and candles so when it gets darker we have light.
--
We are eating now in the dining area. Reign is playing on her food and tries to take a bite once in a while. No one is speaking. It's not awkward or anything. The presence of each other is enough for us but I had to break the silence.
"I don't want to forget you."
Reign has stopped chewing.
"There has to be another way."
She sighed. "You are going to remember me still, just not in your human form."
"Even after my next life, I want to find you. Or you find me. Whichever comes first."
"You want me to live with different versions of you? Isn't Joanna and Belle enough?"
I shrugged.
She propped her elbows on the table while dropping her fork on the plate. "Think of what you are trying to say now. You are not making any sense."
"I think I am. How are you not afraid of the end? How is this all easy for you?"
"I had a hundred years to prepare for it."
"Reign!" I slammed the table.
She jolted back to her seat.
"Can't you see what's wrong in this situation? Them!" I pointed outside the walls. "They don't care about our lives. They just watch and think, ‘oh they could just simply reincarnate’. ‘That's fine’. ‘If they die now’. ‘That's fine’. They say that because they don't experience death. Time for them is eternal. They don't understand the meaning of having this moment to cherish with people. They don't understand that."
"Tell them that when you die and go up there." She continued to eat. “That’s their lesson.”
I took away her food and threw it on the side.
"I may have stolen that one from the convenience store but it's still a waste of food."
"Can't you take me seriously? For once, stop being sarcastic."
"No, Belle. Take me seriously. What I said to you are facts not theory. It is what it is."
"Just like that, huh?"
She moved her jaw. "I know how much all of these means to you…"
I shook my head. "You don't. This means a lot to me. I've fallen in love with you once before. And again in this lifetime. How could you not think that maybe even before those lives, before I was Belle, before I was Joanna and before you were Reign...maybe...maybe it has always been the two of us?”
She shook her head. “It’s just a coincidence, Belle.”
“No. I don’t think so. All the lives I have...I had you...And then suddenly, when I reincarnate in my next life you're no longer there. I don't mind forgetting you again in my next life as long as I can see you again. This could be a ridiculous thing but soulmates? Ever thought of that?"
She took a deep breath and took a while to release it. “If so, how come I never met you after you were Joanna and before you were Belle? Who were you in between? Not that I don't believe in your theory. But you were not here in those years."
I relaxed my tense shoulders.
"People reincarnate almost immediately but you had a few years in between that you’re not with me. So, Joanna and you as Belle are just a coincidence. That's all it is. I don't believe in soulmates."
"Maybe you should so you could understand me even more." I crossed my arms together. I can’t even look at her right now.
She closed her eyes and intertwined her fingers together as she thought about probably all of these.
"I'm gonna take a nap." I stood up.
--
I don't know how long it has been since that conversation but Reign and I never had a proper talk since then. She would just ask if we still have food and she'll be out for a while to get some if we ran out already.
There's nothing really much to do in this house so I just started reading all the books that were laying around while she was away. According to Reign, some of these were actually Felicia's grimoire. A book where she keeps all of her learnings in witchcraft. What if I was Felicia?
Reign finally came back with another bottle in hand.
"You've been doing that a lot," I mumbled.
"The angels' energies are weakening me."
I closed the book in my lap. "And you didn't bother telling me this?"
"There was never a chance." The bottle disappeared in her hand. She sent it to her Superior to ‘pay rent’.
"Oh, but there's a time to tell me tha–"
"Can we not?"
I shut my mouth.
"You need to go back to your normal life."
"What is this now?" I’ve been doing fine here. What is she proposing now? I swear I never know what this demon is thinking. I wish I could read minds.
"Don't worry. I'll be around but you being stuck in this old rugged house is not right."
"You're going to erase my memories?"
"What? No. It's–just–you seriously want to stay here forever? It's been three weeks, Belle. Your skin is starting to pale. You need more sun."
I shook my head. "But what if they…"
"I'll be around."
I lowered my eyes to my lap.
"You've read all of Felicia's books."
"Have you ever wondered if I was…"
"No." She shook her head. "I know Felicia in this lifetime."
"Really?"
"She reincarnated as her own granddaughter. She has a sister that has a family. She reincarnated there."
"Oh…"
"Stop thinking about what I said last time. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I hurt you." She sounds genuine. She always sounds genuine when she apologizes.
"Well, maybe you're right."
"And maybe you are right too. Who knows?"
"I wish I'm wrong. I don't want to live multiple lifetimes without my soulmate. I'll grow old alone forever. "
She gave me a weak smile. “Well,” she nodded, "let me take you home."
"Last night," I begged. I want to stay one last night with her.
She sighed.
“Please.”
She nodded. "Okay."
I laid the book on her altar and walked my way towards her. I placed both of my hands on each of her cheeks and stared into her eyes.
"What are you doing?" She narrowed her brows.
"Trying to remember as much as I can. After all, I'm not going to see this face in my next life."
Reign has already made her decision. I don’t think there’s ever changing that. From the past months I’ve been with her, I realized that when she decides about something, she will actually do it. No one could tell her otherwise. And I hate it.
Tears uncontrollably fell from my eyes. But I kept them open. I bit my lip as I tried to stop myself from crying. "You are trying to say goodbye and I hate it."
She closed our distance and whispered. "I'll be around. I promise." She kissed my lips. I kissed her back. I pulled her closer to me by wrapping my arms around her neck and tip-toeing so I could reach her more.
On our last night in this house, we just lay on the bed. Nothing happened. We removed the fabric that keeps us from seeing the dark night outside. It's a full moon today so we thought it'd be good to watch it while we lay in bed.
She told me stories. Finally, stories about her. Not just how she became a demon but also the things she did in her lifetime. She even told stories about her and Joanna. Which definitely sounded like things we would do. I wish I could do them again with her in this lifetime but what we have right now is enough too. She wrapped one arm around me as we lay on our side.
"...and then this one guy started following me. I was surprised. No one had done that before. His payment wasn't really worth a lot but I took it since he's the one who had been chasing. Just so we could get over it, you know?"
I smiled. "You sure do have lots of stories to tell." I faced her.
"I'm a hundred and forty-one years old. What did you expect?"
"Can you tell me the memories you erased from me?"
"It matters?"
"Every little bit, yeah."
She frowned as she tried to tell. "You were seven, I think? And you had this English teacher. There were two kidnappings at that time. That teacher was worried but no one cares so, I took advantage of that and made her make a wish. Long story short, she turned crazy. Well, she really isn't but people assumed and now she's in a clinic."
"Wait. Is that Miss Par? She was my favorite!"
"I don't know my client's name. I forget everyone afterward. But yeah sure. Her."
I playfully slapped her arm. "I failed English class since then."
"Anyway, you were a kid. I was watching the rain. You were there and I didn't notice. You were so small I could barely notice you. Then I felt like someone was watching and when I turned my head, I saw you."
"Then?"
"I pushed you to the ground and erased your memories."
"Who...what…" I slapped her softly once again.
"The next one was before your debut. You were wearing a strange dress. The ugliest one I've seen my whole life."
"The blue-green one?"
She nodded. “I lived through the 1960s. I think I know what I’m talking about. With their strange patterns and color combinations.”
"Yeah, thank goodness Selene didn't make me wear it on my debut."
"You were hiding underneath the trash. You think I didn't notice you but how could I not notice the ugliest dress I've seen my whole life. You beat the 1960s. I just didn't interact with you because I was busy dealing with my client at that time. Then you tried to crawl away from me. That's when I finally acknowledge you. You were, " she chuckled. "You tried to bribe me. You said that you won't tell anyone. As if anyone's ever going to believe you anyway. I realized that you were that same kid when you made that face."
"Face? What face?"
"Your eyes. It's just...then your mouth when you're scared...just...a distinct expression."
I pouted.
"Long story short, I erased your memories. Though I forgot about the woman for a second and she threw something at me but instead of hitting me she hit you so, you fainted."
My mouth fell open. "I know that! My head hurt!"
She nodded. "Yeah, but I had to go because your friend is closing in. So yeah, that's it."
"Just those two?"
"I never lie."
"But you do keep secrets."
"I already told you everything tonight. You think I still have more to keep?"
I pushed her so that she fully laid her back on the bed. I then sat above her hip.
"What now?" She asked.
I lowered my lips to hers and then whispered in her ear. "Just making the most of the night." Then I kissed her neck then back to her lips. I started pulling her shirt upward. She's not fighting me and instead helped me with my own shirt. We threw our shirts on the ground. We don't know where they went and I don't think it mattered. She sat up on the bed. I thought she was going to remove me from her but instead, she just reached for the back of my neck to pull me for a kiss. Her one hand then lowered to the clasped of my bra and unclasped it. I pulled away from the kiss.
"I don't know how you kept doing that with one hand."
She removed my bra and threw it on the side. "Too experienced, I guess." She finally moved me. She lowered me on the bed so that she could be on top of me. And that's it. That's how the rest of the night went.
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