She wears an elegant white top tucked into an elegant rose pink skirt one day. It was a deviation from the usual shirt and jeans. It is the first time he sees her legs. Her waist. Desire stirs him. An unease grips him. What for? He searches her eyes. Whom for? 

But as usual, her eyes refuse to show anything. He watches the people around her flock to ask why. “Birthday,” he hears, but he knows it isn't until tomorrow. Why does she lie? His fists clench. He watches her laugh at surmising friends. Laugh at the jeers. Boyfriend. It spreads. Boyfriend, he dreads. He seeks the answer again in her eyes. But even if her face is alight with humor, that fog of secrecy still covers them. And it frustrates and it kills and he regrets not taking action. But then. He sees her family's online photos. Sees her in the elegant clothes. And he understands she had not lied.

He remembers this one event well.

For then he had yet to know true thirst. Bound by fear he had been cowardly.

But now was enough suffering.

He had then been bound by the fear of rejection. But now he knows rain will not form and fall without the heat of the sun. And it was time to burn.

He works hard that year. Starts working part-time. Studies harder. Packs his bag smarter. He works and works because real men provided. And he has to provide. He will soon provide. He tells himself he will know when. When he sees her in those elegant clothes again. Then, will he know.

A year turns into two. And his thirst grew and grew. And then

The elegant skirt. 

Classes ended late that day. Students walked out like spilled water on a desk. A lone stray droplet moved into the shadows. A lone stray droplet that was actually two. He smiles as he drives home to provide. And finally, see behind the fog that covers her eyes.

Nobody noticed him.

Nobody noticed.

Nobody ever notices

and it is beautiful.

She is beautiful.

Her heat was on his hands and her sweat was on his lips and her tears. The raindrops fall and the fog clears and he sees her soul.

She is beautiful.

And how he did drink.