A man clad in all black armor waved a massive sword at me while riding a black steed. He wore a black helmet with a long red plume flowing from the top of the helmet. The helm full covered his face. The horse wore a smaller red-plumed helmet and had its own matching armor set.  He managed to look frightening and ridiculous at the same time.

Urghh, I hate people that buy matching outfits for their pets.

In his arm was a sword the length of a giant toddler. Dark burgundy speckled the dull silver blade. He raised it over his head and waved it back and forth like he led a charge towards us. I saw clouds of dust behind him. He was signaling his men to come at us!

Shit, do I have a squadron of bandits tailing me?

I flipped the bird at the creepy man because I wasn't sure what else to do in this situation. It was simply a reflex from my past life.

"I don't know what he wants with us, but he's rapidly gaining on us. I'm trying to lose him!!" Ubir panicked as he whipped our horses to go faster.

Sheraton pulled me back into the carriage and took a quick peek at our pursuers herself. 

"I can take him.." She mumbled to herself as she cracked her knuckles.

"Yeah, but can you take on his reinforcements? He's signaling for them to follow him," I asked her as I lifted the seatbelt off my shoulder wound. I needed to stop wearing dresses that exposed my shoulders.  It wasn't my fault that Fellanie's wardrobe favored more revealing dresses! After all, she was a villainess, and everyone knew that villainesses have to be sexy.

"Depends on how many there are." She trailed off, probably calculating how many she could kill before we got killed. Her attention shifted to my shoulder and her eyes grew wide. Her hand lightly touched my wound and I winced at the rough touch. 

"Stay calm and focus on driving, Ubir," I continued, "Sheraton said she would fight him, and I packed 20 kitchen knives. We'd be fine even if he caught us." 

"We should have stored them next to us for easy access from our seats instead of inside the carriage seat," said Sheraton as she placed a towel on my wound to protect it from the seatbelt.

"What," Ubir replied.

"Nothing, Ubir!" I intended to soothe him, not raise suspicion, so I quickly smiled and expertly changed the subject, "Do bandits rob people solo?" 

"I don't think he's a bandit; his equipment looks too expensive. He has a matching outfit for his horse. Maybe he's one of Margrave Misdemeannir's enemies and wants to kidnap or kill us," Sheraton said. 

"Sheraton, what the fu...dge!? Stop scaring Ubir," I responded as I swatted at her.

"We are almost at the mansion, Ubir! PUT THE HAMMER DOWN!" I desperately yelled at Ubir. I came here to avoid execution. I wasn't willing to die at the hands of bandits that wore matching outfits with their pets!

"WE HAVE A HAMMER?" He yelled back in confusion. I guess they didn't have that slang here. I needed to be careful with what I say in the future. 

"No, but we do have 20 chef knives, a flail, two swords, lye, chloroform, a whip, and 50 throwing knives, so stop worrying and focus on driving," Sheraton said.

Why the hell do we have a whip?! 

"What." Ubir and I replied in unison.

I rolled down my window while holding my fluttering hair back to take another look at our pursuer. I flipped him off as he sheathed his sword.

A low rumbling intensified as our pursuer gave the signal to charge by waving his arm to us. Sheraton yanked me back into the cabin when I started to choke because a large cloud of dust blew into my face.

I closed my eyes and left my fate to God and Ubir's sense of self-preservation.

[F*CK OFF! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN SELLING ANY SCENTED ESSENTIAL OILS!]

**********

We whooped and cheered as we spotted the mansion. Until I started to choke again, and Sheraton forcefully slapped my back as if that would help.  

My shoulder bled from the seat belt cut when we suddenly accelerated. I pressed a hand towel on the wound to stop the bleeding. We disembarked at record speed upon arrival at the mansion and rushed inside. 

My hair was a rat's nest, and I wore about a pound of dust on my dress. Dirt and sand flaked off with my every movement as the butler walked us to the drawing-room. 

I really need to have an employee appreciation day. They're here for me without complaint. Heck, even I can't deal with me.  I miss home so much; Luis is the only one who put up with my craziness. 

Just as I was to ask if Ubir and Sheraton were alright, the man wearing a black helmet and black full plate armor walked in. The massive dirty sword on his back swung back and forth with every step.

As I evaluated our opponent, I couldn't help but notice a small dark green bow hanging from the blade's hilt. A green emerald on the bow twinkled as the ornament dangled from the blood-stained sword.

Ubir shrieked, and Sheraton got up and stood between the menacing black-armored man and me. She then bowed to him and relaxed her shoulders.

What the hell, Sheraton?! This is the ultimate betrayal!