2 months later

“Here you go,” I told the oceanid Elder who ran our merfolk community.  “The last of the decorations from the end-of-summer celebration.”

He gave me a relieved smile.  “Oh, thank you, Sage!  I had some of the young ones assigned to that, but I think I lost them.”  He looked around and sighed.  “Sometimes I feel like I need a net for some of these.”

I chuckled lightly.  “Offer food at the end instead of the beginning,” I suggested.  “They’ll be more motived.”

“Oh, true!  Good idea.”  He started scribbling something down on a smooth shell.

Our oceanid Elder was newer.  He had been our Elder for a little over six months now.  He’d inherited the position from his parent, who’d decided she wanted to retire.  He’d also inherited the position because he was the most powerful merfolk here – excluding Jett, who technically had a lot of power, but not as much magical power.  Our new Elder had lived here when he was younger but had traveled some over the past several decades to gain more experience.  He had a mixture of familiarity with our community and members, new ideas from other places, and utter confusion about what was going on.  He was trying hard, though, and we all appreciated the effort he was putting in.  Or, well, most of us.  Maybe not the younger ones who forgot they were supposed to be helping him clean up after the celebration.

“If I see them, I’ll send them your way,” I offered.  I received a nod in response as the Elder was already off and focused on his next task.

I left him to it and swam off to pick up the nets of fish I was delivering for the day.  Food for those who couldn’t catch it themselves.  I was in male form today so I could lug the large nets along more easily, making sure I got them all to their destinations in one piece.

I had just left my last delivery when Sidney spotted me and darted over, a frown on his face.

“What are you doing here still?  Don’t you have a date later?  Come on!”  He grabbed me by my wrist and began pulling me in the direction of the surface.

“I can swim on my own,” I started to say, but Sidney didn’t listen.  He seemed determined to make sure I got to Theo’s place ASAP so I could prepare for the date with, you know, real clothes instead of sarongs and things like what we were both wearing now.

Theo was not surprised when we burst in without knocking – which was Sidney’s fault, I would have knocked if he’d given me time – presumably because he’d agreed to let me prepare here in advance.  He was surprised, though, when he saw me.

“Oh, Sage,” he eyed me hesitantly.  “I, uh, guess I hadn’t seen you in male form yet.  Were you planning to go to the date as male?”  At least as a sea otter shifter, he already knew about oceanids’ unusual “feature,” but that didn’t entirely mean he was used to it, either.

Sidney turned to give me a critical once-over.  “You know, you should.  You’d look really nice in a suit.  Theo, is the stuff I ordered upstairs?”

“Mm-hmm, the bedroom on the left.”

Sidney proceeded to drag me to said bedroom and began pulling some things out of the closet.  “So I did plan in advance in case you wanted to go as male, so I have both male and female clothes here.  Some that could be more androgynous if you want to go with that.”

I kind of felt overwhelmed with the options.  “Sidney, you really didn’t have to do all of this.”

Sidney threw his hands into the air, exasperated.  “It’s your first date!  Of course I did!  Besides, you asked me for help with this, so it’s too late.  Come on, let’s pick something.  Hmm, this red dress would look great on your female form, but I think you’d look really hot in this suit as a male, too.”  He started mumbling to himself, apparently trying to picture me in all the options and meanwhile ignoring any time I tried to say something because he was so stuck in his head.

I ended up just giving in and doing what Sidney wanted.  Sidney had more experience with dating than I did, for one thing, but also he kept raving about how nice I looked in the suit – still as a male – and his praise kind of felt nice.  He even redid my braid so it was positioned higher and wound around the base before trailing down my back, giving it more elegance than normal.

Once he felt like he was all done, he took a step back and looked me over once more.  “You look really nice, Sage.”  He paused, for just a second a troubled look flashing through his eyes, before he seemed to shake it off and gave me a warm smile.  “You look great.  If Charlotte doesn’t think so, she’s an idiot.”

I was still having trouble believing that I’d agreed to go on a date with a surface-dweller, let alone Charlotte.  It wasn’t like I had an issue with her being a girl – oceanids rarely were anything other than bi or pan, which kind of made sense given our own biology, although some oceanids were occasionally attracted to just one gender.  I was more just surprised that I’d agreed to date a centaur.  Charlotte was nice, though, and I knew that, so maybe that was why I’d agreed without really obsessing over it until after I’d agreed.

“Sage?”  Sidney’s expression was surprisingly close to vulnerable, and he paused for a second before giving me a smile.  “Have fun, okay?”

I got the impression that that wasn’t what Sidney wanted to say, but I didn’t have time to question him about what was going on before he hustled me downstairs and into Theo’s car for Theo to drive me to meet Charlotte.  As Theo pulled away from his apartment, I glanced back in the rearview mirror and saw Sidney watching us, looking almost forlorn.

That didn’t make much sense to me.  I made a note to talk to Sidney later and try to figure out what was going on.  Maybe Sidney was worried about something?  Him and Jett were close, but if he was worried about something related to Jett, maybe he just needed someone else he trusted to talk to.

We lost sight of Sidney and the apartment building, so I turned my attention to Theo and trying to keep myself calm on the ride to the movie theater.  “How is the new job?”

“Pretty good.  I mean, civil engineers don’t get paid great, but I like the work, you know?  And Port Fylin’s a nice place.  I’ve made quite a few friends.  Your brother and sisters keep inviting me to shifter parties, too.”  He hesitated.  “Do you ever join them?”

I shook my head.  “No.  It’s a shifter thing, you know?  I doubt anyone would say anything if I showed up, since my family are all shifters, but it’s kind of a them thing, and that’s fine.”  I didn’t feel like I needed to poke myself into every facet of their lives.  They loved me and all, but…sometimes they needed stuff that was just theirs, and shifter parties were their thing.  Plus, there was the whole not-coming-to-the-surface-for-years thing, and the parties were held on land.  Partially to accommodate merfolk shifters like Theo who were more land-based, and partially just so they could be in their human forms and interact easier.

“But Silas thinks they’re great,” I added.  “You should go sometime.”

“Do you know if there are any other sea otters in the area?”  Theo’s question was very hesitant.  “Shifters, I mean?  It’s not like I need to be around other sea otters, it’s just….”

“Like dolphins like to be around other dolphins.  I get it.”  I gave him an understanding smile.  “It’s fine, it’s normal for a lot of merfolk to want to be around our own kind.  Actually, a lot of supernaturals in general, I think?  Like the demons seem to like being around other demons.  But to answer your question, I don’t know.  Silas would, you can ask him.”  I fidgeted with the end of my braid.  “Are you hoping to meet another sea otter lady eventually?”

He sighed.  “I mean, yes, kind of, though I keep telling myself I shouldn’t care.  It should be more about the person, and it is – it’s not like I’m just going to rush off and marry the first sea otter lady I meet – but at the same time, I would strongly prefer a sea otter partner over anything else.”  He frowned a bit.  “Does that sound terrible?  It kind of sounds terrible to me.  Like I’m being racist against anyone who’s not a sea otter shifter.”

“Not necessarily.  You want someone who can understand and share your particular insights on the world.”  I shrugged.  “Maybe it’s like some people want to marry someone with similar interests?  I don’t think anyone should be forced to consider someone as a potential partner if they’re not a good fit.  Like oceanids and humans – humans are tough for us, because they don’t live as long, and we can die of broken hearts.  So it’s really hard for any oceanid to consider a human partner.”

He shot me a sharp look.  “Wait, that’s real?  I thought it was just a myth.”

“It’s real.  I’ve heard it described as our hearts literally cracking apart,” I explained.  “When the heart can’t take anymore, we die and turn to bubbles or seafoam.  It happens most often with loss of a partner, especially if the partner was a soulmate, though supposedly the more other connections you have in life, the less likely death will happen?  Like Sidney’s parents.”  Sidney and I had known each other since we were very small, so I remembered his parents pretty well.  “One of his parents died, but the other one had Sidney still, and quite a few friends in town, and everyone in the town sort of surrounded them and tried to comfort them.  I think they were touched with how much people loved them, and they were okay in the end.  Of course it still hurts to lose their partner, and it’ll never not hurt for that, but they didn’t die from it.  So,” I shrugged a little, “I guess it’s in oceanids’ best interest to make as many friends as possible?”

“Huh.”  Theo seemed almost shaken by the idea.  “That – I can understand why you’d hesitate to date a human, if that’s the case.  A lot higher risk of it killing you whenever they died.”

“Right, but see?  There can be reasons for why someone basically rules out a species or prefers a species over another, and that’s okay.  You might find your dating pool smaller if you’re just considering sea otter shifters,” I shrugged, “but you know, if that’s what you really want, and you are willing to wait to find the right person, what’s the problem with that?”

He seemed thoughtful as he pulled up in front of the theater.  “Thanks, Sage.  That’s helpful.  I’ve been feeling like it’s wrong for me to focus mostly on sea otter shifters, but that’s what I’d really want if I had a choice, so…I don’t know, I’ll think about it some more.”  He gave me a shrug and a smile.  “Go enjoy your date.  Charlotte can call me when you’re ready to be picked up.  Good luck!”

I accepted his offered luck and climbed out of the car, my nerves suddenly hitting me as he drove off and left me alone.  Here I was, about to go on my first date.  That was almost as scary as just being on the surface to begin with.

“Sage?”  Charlotte’s voice behind me sounded very uncertain.

I turned to give her a somewhat shy smile.  “Hi.  Um, you look nice.”  She did.  She was wearing something flowy and silver and it looked really nice with her hair.

If I had to admit it, I didn’t feel sexual or romantic chemistry with Charlotte, but she was nice and I wanted to try dating, even if it was a surface-dweller, so I was willing to give this a shot and see if I could develop feelings that were more than friends after we dated and explored something more romantic.  That didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous, though – I’d only watched a handful of movies in my life, never at a theater, and this was my first date and all, and it had just dawned on me that maybe I should have asked Sidney or Theo about whether I should have brought money with me for this?

But then I took in Charlotte’s expression.  Her face was a mixture of confusion, hesitancy, and something else I couldn’t quite define.

I started to feel the slightest bit of a sinking sensation inside.  “Are you okay?”  Then, after a pause, because her expression was making me worried.  “Did you…change your mind?”

“Come here.”  She grabbed my arm just above my elbow and practically dragged me around the corner.  She was frowning by the time she released me, but it seemed to be a frown of confusion rather than anger.

For a few moments we just stood there, nowhere close to other people, as I nervously shifted and waited for her to explain what was going on.

“I don’t understand,” she said at last.  “Aren’t you…a girl?”

Oh.  Ooooh.  I hadn’t even thought about that when I was getting ready, I’d just gone with Sidney’s suggestion which was based on which clothes he liked the best.  I’d completely forgotten that Charlotte had never seen me in male form before and, based on her current perplexed look, had no idea that oceanids could shift gender.

“Um, technically…no, not exactly?  Oceanids are both,” I explained.  I felt myself shifting uncomfortably as the expressions I couldn’t quite understand continued to play across her face.  “We can shift from male to female at will, it’s just a preference thing.”  I hesitated.  “I thought you realized that from Jett talking about Sidney having a baby and then Sidney was always in his male form after that.”

Charlotte opened her mouth, but nothing came out, and she still seemed like she had no idea how to react.

Being nervous and increasingly concerned about this situation, my solution was to keep talking.  “Sidney just changed to female for the duration of the pregnancy, then switched back.  Um, that’s how we usually handle it for that?  But otherwise it’s kind of up to what we need or just what we want.”

“You can switch genders.  At will.”  Charlotte finally seemed to catch up with the first part of my explanation.

The sinking feeling got worse.  “Um…yes.”

Charlotte’s frown started to change to less confused and more discomfort.  “But you don’t have to?  I mean,” she took a deep breath, “I’m gay, Sage.  I’m not interested in guys.  This is kind of throwing me for a loop.  But I suppose if you just didn’t change to male, it would be basically the same thing?”  She mused more to herself than to me.

And there it was.  Something I’d forgotten to even think about when I agreed to go on this date or when I’d agreed to Sidney’s choice on what outfit – and therefore what gender.  I forgot that some people were just straight or gay or whatever.  Of course I knew a lot of non-merfolk weren’t so keen on the idea of a partner switching genders, but so many merfolk were bi or pan that I kind of forgot it could be an issue with anyone else.