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"Ladies, the Blue Krips unemployment office was back there!" Ubir jogged up to me from the back.

"We aren't going there," I responded.

"What? Why not? They helped us last time." 

"Ubir, we are here to wipe out both gangs. Not just the Red Bloots."

"Ok. Why don't we pay the Krips to kill the Bloots first?" He asked while walking backward in front of me.

"How about you shut up and follow us. I told you the plan already, and I don't want to repeat myself in public," I hissed at him.

Please don't take offense, Ubir. I need to practice my villainess act.

We already had a map of the blue unemployment offices throughout Manatown. Sheraton committed the map to memory when she saw it in their headquarters. We decided that we could wipe them out first with that information.

"Hey Sheraton, I know this is unrelated, but...can you tell me about soul magic?" I casually asked. My soul traveled from Earth to here, so soul magic must exist.

"It does not exist, my lady," she responded, without an ounce of emotion.

"It does exist! I remember my parents telling me not to open the door to anyone wearing weird robes. I opened the door once when I was a kid, and they invited themselves in. 

"They talked for about three hours and then gave me a bunch of pamphlets with weird symbols on them." Ubir chattered away despite Sheraton's intense death glare.

"Those were just scammers— This way." She abruptly stopped and motioned for us to follow her down the alleyway. Rats scurried away as we walked around the overflowing garbage. She stopped in front of a daunting ebony door. 

The large wood grain leered at us with its many eyes. The handle felt warm to the touch. There was darkness emanating from the door that seeped into our nostrils—

"Holy shit! Is that smoke?!" I asked as I pointed to the black smoke pouring from the sides of the door.

"Yes," Sheraton responded.

"Nice!  Let's leave, guys!" Ubir cheerfully spun around on his heel to leave.

"Ubir, get to the fire station." I frowned. 

Why was there a fire here right now?

"Huh, why? Who cares if they die, they're bad guys." He asked.

"So that the whole block doesn't burn down, genius. I'm here to hunt down gangs, not kill a bunch of innocent people in their sleep." 

Guys, I still have a conscience!

He quickly left to grab the firemen. I returned my attention to the door; two intersecting streaks of blue paint formed an X over the door. Sheraton squatted down and wiped some of the blue drops from the ground.

"The door was marked earlier today. The drops of paints aren't fully dry yet." She remarked as she stood up.

"We need to get to one of their other offices before this happens again. It's great that they are taking out the Bloots, but innocent people dying from these fires is less than ideal." I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes.

"Sheraton, lead me to the next hideout." She gave me a quick nod, and we left the flaming door.

----------

We stood at an unmarked black door after weaving through the alleyways and dodging beggars.

KNOCK KNOCK!

We waited a few minutes, but nothing. 

BANG BANG BANG!!!

POLICE!

BANG BANG BANG!!!

This magical knock always worked for me back on Earth.

The door shook and creaked at my kicks. A minute later, the door cracked open, and a red-robed man frowned in recognition.

"...come in, ladies." He opened the door just wide enough for us to enter.

Their lobby was barren compared to their blue counterpart. There were several worn tables and chairs but no weapons or alcohol.

I explained to the gangster that we were here with information on the blue Krips before he would take us to the leader. He lifted the carpet to reveal a moldy trapdoor with a rusty handle.

I gagged on the smoke and rot as I descended.  A hot sticky layer of sweat coated my skin within my first few steps downstairs.

Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw several robed men sitting at tables playing board games and smoking. Chains with cuffs lined the stone walls. 

Candles on the tables lit the room; their flickering flames created shadows that danced around the dark patches of crimson on the walls and floor. Random sharp objects were strewn about the room.

"...is this the company break room?" I asked as calmly as one could when surrounded by Occupational Safety and Health Administration code violations.  I quickly sidestepped a rusty sickle that was on the ground.

"I apologize for the mess. I wasn't expecting visitors today," our guide smiled, revealing jagged yellowed teeth.

"This place is dangerous. Please bear with me," she whispered. Sheraton grabbed my hand and walked in front of me.

 Once introduced to the leader, we explained that the blue Krips betrayed us and took all our money when we hired them to clean the city. Wolt appointed us as public health officials, and he was livid that the Krips robbed us. 

The bearded leader snatched the wanted posters and smirked fiendishly, "Five gold per head? Why are you here? You can just post these around the city to get results. People would kill their neighbor for five gold."

"We don't want random citizens to kill people. They might kill their neighbor and then dress them in a blue robe. Aren't you guys professional Krip-hunters?" I explained to him.

The truth was that I'd rather not pay anyone. I wanted the trash to take itself out.

Sheraton took out a map of the city and circled a few locations.

"We have information on all 15 hideouts. I'll give you half the information for now."

We agreed that they would only attack the Krips in their hideouts to avoid civilian casualties at the end of the negotiations. They had immunity from law enforcement if they abided by the rules that we set. 

The deal was off if they hurt innocent people or participated in destroying public property.

It was finally time to sit back and let our new allies do the murdering for us.

[Alright guys, can anyone explain what OSHA is?....Anyone? ??]