Anju could still feel her cheeks burning from the light touch of their knees. There was a moment of awkward silence this flustered her. 

Then quickly shook off that feeling she needed a topic to talk to him. “I was wondering if you have a social media account?”

“Social media account?” Dhiraj thought for a second. "Yeah but I don't use it though it feels like a hassle," Dhiraj said. 

It was pretty normal for people in the office who had busy schedules to not use social media but being in the social media circle as Dhiraj meant she was not a stranger to him and she was allowed to know what he shared about his life.  

“It’s okay, I would still like to have it,” said Anju, who knew she was being pushy about the issue but she couldn’t let this chance slide.

“Alright,” said Dhiraj.

Anju’s face brightened with excitement, she quickly took out her notebook,  flipped to the last page and handed it to him. “Please write it here.”

Dhiraj gently smiled, there was a tinge of crimson colour on his cheeks. Anju wondered if he wasn’t feeling well, today. 

Dhiraj returned the notebook and the pen to her and she read his profile name at the lower end of the page.  She lifted the notebook as if she was trying to read his name in the light coming from the PC monitor. Anju slowly peaked at Dhiraj shyly. She still had the pen and notebook in her hand, and slowly drew a small heart beside his name.”Oh god, I got his social media name.” she squealed inside her mind.  Anju lifted the edge with my index finger then raced my thumb over it.

Dhiraj fixed his throat nervously, then quickly shifted “I should close off the computer.” He bent down under the table and clicked on the power button. 

The conversation seemed like it was flowing quite well so far she just need to push just a little more before she asked the main question. ”I was wondering…. Why are you here so late is it work?” The monitor of the PC turned off the room and was now fully dark but did manage to get a glimpse of Dhiraj smiling. 

“I was waiting for someone,” he answered. There was a broad smile on Anju’s face. Could it be her? No, she had to wait and make sure it was her he was waiting for, Anju took a deep breath, it was the right time to ask. "I was wondering, maybe you could drop her home. I  mean.. it's raining .. And I had to stay late for work so..." Anju trialled off. There was a strange discomfort on his face. "AH...I'm sorry. I  have to take..."

"I'm ready, let's go." a voice disrupted the peace of the darkroom.  It was the manager of the programmer's department, Sheela, standing at the door waving at Dhiraj. 

Dhiraj looked at my face, "I'm sorry, I had already promised to take her home with me, your house is nearby and the rain is not so heavy I'm sure you can walk right?" Dhiraj said, uncomfortable.

A sudden movement on her hand brought her back to the present. Anju was pulling on the edge of the paper so hard that her hands had jerked away. Anju was still holding a piece of the edge, her thump slowly shifted sideways revealing half of the heart on it and leaving the rest intact on the notebook. Anju had accidentally torn her heart (apart) into two pieces that day.

.

Anju was so overjoyed by her moment with Dhiraj that she had forgotten the rumour about him and the manager dating, but they hadn’t announced it so she had hoped that wasn't the case, she was too hopeful.

Her heart sank. "Oh yes of course. Please go ahead." Anju said, with a smile. She should have walked out but she didn’t want Dhiraj to offend him. "Let's walk to the door." Anju insisted. The three of them including Sheela walked downstairs. Anju watched the two of them walk effortlessly side by side lost in their little conversation. It was the opposite for her though, quiet and lonely. They split near the gate, Dhiraj and Sheela towards the parking lot and Anju at the gate.

Anju waited for those two at the main gate of their office. Anju wanted to bolt out but The Manager was there and it was disrespectful so she stood like a statue. Dhiraj slowed down his car in front of Anju, to wave; Sheela smiling beside Dhiraj. A hateful feeling towards the Manager crept in as Anju smiled back, she felt so ugly inside.

The Present Day

After that Anju never entered the programming department again. Her internship ended 1 month later. She was not selected to work in the company. A part of her was grateful that she lost that job because it was suffocating to worry that she would run into Dhiraj by accident.

Yet Anju wasn't able to fully give up, she sent Dhiraj a friend request online hoping Anju could at least be friends with Dhiraj, Anju never received a reply. Her present self scoffed at the stupidity of her past self.

"Hey, you online?" It was Nisha who had just sent her a message in her social media messenger. "So I heard you are doing well in your new company?" Anju read.

"Oh Please. it's been 3 years since I've been working here… it’s not new anymore." Anju typed back. Anju joined a smaller company after that; still working there. A few moments later another reply came "Do you remember the staff from my department who used to have figurines on their table?"

Oh god, why now? Please don’t tell her anything about him. Anju thought. 

Her former office was filled with gossip monks; regardless of their gender; there was something about the hustling life in that office that drove its workers insane to the point they would use any method to entertain themselves. This also meant, her not asking any information, didn't matter, the answer would still be force-fed to her.

Another reply followed on the screen. " He recently got married." it felt like a bomb had dropped on Anju, 

The timing could not have been better. thought Anju, sceptical. 

“Let me guess the bride is the Sheela Programmer department manager.” She typed, annoyed.

“No, what are you talking about? He had an arranged marriage.” came the reply.

Anju froze for a moment. 

What? 

Suddenly she raced her fingers on the Keyboard. The information just given was too shocking for her.  “I thought The manager and Dhiraj were dating.”

“Oh, you mean the rumour from three years back. It cleared up.” Nisha typed.

“How?” typed Anju.

“He later confessed that he had someone he liked as an ex-intern. It’s a sad story though” Nisha typed.

“Why?” Anju typed.

“The girl didn't get a job at our company and she never returned. She had told him she would come back someday again. He used to tell us that he would introduce her to us when she returned but it never happened. The poor guy waited for her for 2 and half years until finally gave up. His family fixed his marriage to a family friend's daughter.”

Anju’s heart felt like it had dropped on the floor from shock. Her words from that evening echoed in her mind. “No I won't. Even if I lose this internship, I’m going to return someday and apply again.”

Her heart was tearing into two pieces, she prayed, she wasn't the one. She slowly typed "Who was the crush?"

"Don't know, in fact, nobody knows." came the answer.

Anju didn't want to know anymore. Anju was too scared to hear the answer. "Anju, I'm getting back to work. I'll talk to Dhiraj later."

"Liar," a voice whispered inside her. it was a lie; Anju still had 30 minutes left before my lunch break ended; my eyes were still looking at the default profile picture beside my chatbox.

Suddenly she remembered what her mom used to tell her when two people are not meant to be together, the world has a strange way to separate people who are not meant to be together.

This also meant it was time to let go.