I don’t know why Tarask kept silent, but I didn’t bother either. Maybe he realized it would be counterproductive to press me any further, or he thought I’d calm myself if given the time. Not that I’d care for any of that. I was simply happy to hear no answer to my thoughts. 

I still couldn’t believe what happened today. Sure, that man wasn’t the pillar of society, but it wasn’t about the who. Being forced to kill someone without any chance to resist was frightening. Especially another human being. Killing monsters in the rift was one thing. They were out to kill me, they were beasts with no further intentions than devouring humans. 

Well – you might call that idiot a hungry beast as well. He was also out to hurt someone and tried to kill me, alright. But what about next time? What, if the next person he forces me to kill was just a bystander who witnessed the wrong things? I couldn’t shake off the awful feeling that seeped into my body. I could be turned into a murderer. Maybe even a danger to my friends. Who said, he wouldn’t change his mind? Who said, he wouldn’t get rid of us once he had what he wanted?

I shut the room's door behind me and went straight for the bathroom. I needed to get rid of the aftertaste of warm beer in my mouth. The moment I stood before the bath mirror, I stopped in motion. The wound on my shoulder – where had it gone? Until now, I hadn’t bothered further with it. I simply thought the adrenaline still had kicked in, as it had many times before. Still, by now the concentration in my blood should have dropped significantly. 

Where had the wound gone? I remembered Tarask’s words. Hadn’t he tried to justify himself with telling me I had gotten myself hurt? Was that the reason he made me drink the blood? God-damn it! No matter what he said, it still felt like a vampire from legends. What was he? If only I knew, I might find a way to rid myself of him.

As I opened my mouth to brush my teeth, I nearly let out a scream. That couldn’t be true, right? Why were my canine teeth sharp? They definitely were normal in the morning. What was happening to me? Was I turning into a monster? Could I even call myself human any longer? 

I brushed my teeth so hard as if I could force the edges to disappear. Of course, they didn’t care about my feelings, but at least I got rid of the unwanted aftertaste. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What was happening to me? Where was I headed? My body, my mind – everything seemed to be invaded by this monster. 

Another thought crossed my head. What, if he planned to take over my body? Did he really need a human conscience to reach his goals? From what he told me, I had figured he once owned an own body, but that was no longer the case. That didn’t mean he couldn’t change the fact. What if he wasn’t out to search for something? Maybe what he was looking for was another way to gain a physical embodiment, and he wanted to use me for this goal?

If that was the case, I couldn’t let him have his way. He, whatever demon he might be, was dangerous. Maybe I had helped a demon cross the threshold to our world. The guilt started to build up, as I tried to rummage my options. What could I do? How should I rid myself of a being I didn’t even understand?

Was that the reason he refused to tell me what he was? So, I didn’t find a way to banish him? Sometimes in old legends, you had to know an enemy’s nature to ward him off. It could be one of these cases. But what should I do? Perhaps the internet would offer me some way to look for a being like him? Still, if I didn’t find a way to cure myself, I might have to resort to desperate measures. 

Oh, shut up with your nonsense!

The voice echoed in my mind with so much force, that I stumbled in the bathroom and had to support my weight with the sink. The pain was intense, as if someone had hit me in the middle of my face. Was he trying to punish me? Trying to overthrow me? 

No, you damn imbecile! I am mad at your loose, insulting thoughts. Not to mention your stupid conclusion to kill yourself if no other option was available. Are you dumb? I wanted to give you a chance to cool your head off without interrupting, but how am I supposed to stay silent after that? 

Reality blurred again. The darkness pulled my conscience in before I had a chance to react. At least the pain behind my eyes started to subside.