Scene: It’s a chilly Winter Solstice. Yngvar, Aidan, and Joel are standing outside of a longhouse. In front of the house, a long line of people have gathered. They’re all chatting about what’s being sold inside - fertility symbols (or, most likely, pleasure devices), which they call vǫlsi.

The devices have been brought from across the sea by a foreign merchant known in the North as Sámr. Such exceptional merchandise garnered great attention in this part of Nordland which was usually exempt from the bustle of Norway’s capital or its southern cities. But now the famous wise-man and magic-worker Eyolf Solhrafn is showing himself impressed by them, and his expertise is greatly trusted. Arms opened wide in a theatrical fashion, he is holding a speech, Sam right beside him:

"As we all know the vǫlsi has been worshipped in our lands since the dawn of time, as a symbol of fertility, pleasure and procreation. And isn't love and fruitfulness what we all wish for this upcoming year? But tonight, ladies and drengir, from Sámr the Silver-Tongued, I give you something new, something even better: here is the Sámvǫlsi!"

The audience gapes when Sam reveals the leathery objects, swarming around him while he explains what they are about.

However, the group stationed in front of the house, on the veranda sheltered by the blizzard outside, seems less than convinced...

Joel: *at Aidan* So, do you think you guys will be heading inside? It’s quite cold, and even though Sam told me I shouldn’t go in, who cares what he says, right? 

Aidan: *squints* What exactly happened between you two? I thought you were good friends.

Joel: Well, what happened was that Sam said I was “sexually incompetent” - according to him, all I can do is hold hands with Malka and talk about random topics that have no application in real life. *he thinks about how in Sam's eyes, it's okay for Aidan to be “sexually incompetent" because he was educated as a monk. However, he thinks that Joel has no excuse, since he doesn’t have such a restriction. Rather, he forced it on himself because of his hubris and his desire to prove to himself and society that he is self-sufficient.*

Aidan *wide-eyed, falls deep in thought; he has been in love with Rannveig for a few months, but has never tried to show it to her more than being nice to her and seeking her company* But isn’t this the right thing to do? We’re not married, after all. Do you… *he looks at Rannveig; she is inside the house, looking at Sam and his vǫlsi* …do you think Rannveig and Malka expect more from us...? Or is he just teasing you?

Joel: Eh, this is just another way for Sam to advertise his products and “get famous,” if you will. He’s turning the concept of sex into something crass and commercialistic, which I don’t agree with. 

Yngvar: *scowling* It’s more than this. It’s disgusting. Just look at them: swarming to gape at those things like flies around filth. From peasant superstitions to vulgar toys - their heads must be completely empty if this is all they care about.

Sam: *comes out of the longhouse with a large bag trailing behind him, grinning from ear to ear as he approaches Yngvar and the others* Oh yeah? I think that’s awfully arrogant of you, Eindriði - this is what people want, so let them have it! 

Sam: Plus, who are you to say what is empty and what is not? You seem pretty empty to me as well, to be honest! With all of your philosophies and whatever... they're all fine and dandy, but from another perspective, aren't they just as pointless as these things I'm selling? We all end up dying anyways, life is just a time we spend on earth for a few years, so philosophy is meaningless too. *He crosses his arms and smirks at Yngvar* At least I don't think I'm selling these things to make myself feel better about my own emptiness. I feel like you just say these things to elevate yourself and make yourself feel so different and profound. But are you?

Yngvar: We do, so how we live matters all the more. The kind of pleasures we have in life are the distinction between the higher being and the inferior one. But if they - and you, for that matter - want to prove you’re nothing more than animals, I won’t stop you. It's your business, after all.

Sam: And so what, even if you are profound, what does it mean? You're nothing but a speck in this world. Just like I am.

Joel: Yes, I'm a speck too, but at least I'm more dignified than you are, Sam. My time here on earth is brief, but I'll make sure it's not full of shtick like yours.

Joel: You’re right, Yngvar. It also baffles me that people think so much about sex. In my opinion, obsessing over it is totally pointless and it's a better endeavor to suppress it because the cost-benefit analysis I’ve undertaken has revealed to me that pursuing love and sex isn't worth it in the end. It expends too much energy and I prefer having more energy for my thought experiments and ensuring that my parents get to have a good life in their golden years. *at Aidan* You should do what you want. Think about what Rannveig would like and act from there. Maybe you should also do a cost-benefit analysis.

Aidan: It is exhausting, indeed. It can easily become an obsession. Just like love... It's frightening, if you think about it, how much power it can have over you. 

Joel: It can be. looks empathetically at Aidan That's why I have decided that love isn't for me. I am a mere mortal. I don't have 1000s of years on this Earth, so it's better to just spend the time I have on my family - that is, my parents. I only have the goal of making our lives better. Bringing other people into the mix, like a spouse or children, adds too much chaos. I prefer minimalism. However, that's my choice to make, Aidan. I understand that everyone has a different calling. Not everyone wants the choices I've made for myself. You need to decide what works best for you.

Aidan *to Yngvar, looking at Rannveig*: I wouldn't say all those who think of these trivial things are inferior, though... Who knows what reasons each of them has? Maybe they're just curious. There's nothing wrong with that, right? For Sam it's a way to draw customers. For Eyolf, it's a way to glorify the freedom of sensuality, the pagan way. For the rest... who knows?

Joel: I might go in to laugh at this stupidity. Did you want to go in, Aidan? I might buy a couple of these stupid toys to break them.

Sam *speaking over them*: Oh, and what's the difference between an animal and a human, huh? Aren't they the same? Sort of interchangeable? Who's to say animals don't have philosophies? Just because they can't speak to us and we can't understand...doesn't mean they don't have important thoughts in their heads.

Yngvar *looks Sam up and down*: I'm sure they do...* to Aidan*: So, Aidan. Going in or out?

Sam: *obsessed with making an absurd point* But you can't prove something that you don't know about, so I guess I've won the debate, that until proven otherwise, animals have profound thoughts.

*Yngvar steps away, leaving Sam certain that he's won.*

Sam: HAH! Did you see that guys?? I won a debate against the great Yngvar Eindriði! So not only am I a seller of sensual magic, but also a master debater! A MASTURBATER! You get it! A MASS DEBATER!!!!

Joel: This is ridiculous, Aidan. Let's go inside. I think Sam behaves more logically when he's inside as opposed to outside.

Aidan *chuckles*: All right, that will be interesting to see…  *to Yngvar, apologetically*: Yngvar, I'm going in with Joel for a bit. Just to see why they think it's so interesting! I'll meet you outside...

Joel: Yes, we'll be out in a couple of minutes. We'll be back, Yngvar.