Neve panted as she ran past her supervisor. She was on her fourth lap, and exertion was killing her. Her supervisor wouldn’t let her stop until she hit her tenth lap, but she had never been able to make it to the tenth without dropping from exhaustion beforehand. Every time she failed to complete all ten laps, they cut her shower privileges. She arrived at the camp five months ago and had only showered once. And she got that one time because it was before she started the laps. At most, they hosed her down when the smell became too intolerable. 

“Usoro, what are you doing?” her supervisor shouted, “I don’t get paid enough to watch you lollygag!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Neve pushed herself to run faster. She could see the white clouds of her breath in the morning air. Her lungs burned, and she could taste blood in the back of her throat. Thirst nagged at her mind, but she knew she wouldn’t get anything until she finished.

She passed her seventh lap when she collapsed on the ground. Breathing heavily through her nose, she laid there in the dirt. A shadow darkened her view. Her supervisor bent down to Neve’s level and yelled, “Did I say you could stop?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then why are you laying down? Get your lazy ass off the ground!”

Neve felt spittle hit her face. She raised a hand to wipe it off, grimacing at the wet trail it left. She tried to lift herself from the ground, but her legs protested the movement. She slumped back down and said, “I can’t.”

“I’m beginning to think you like smelling rank. Get out of here. Breakfast will be served in an hour.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Neve was pulled to her knees. She crawled to the barracks, determined to lay down in her cot. She was almost to the door when someone blocked her. Looking up, she saw the sneering face of Kenmel. 

He asked, “Do you need help, Usoro?”

“Why would you help me?” Kenmel made it no secret that he hated her. She didn’t know what she did to warrant it, and he made her life a living hell. 

“Why not?” 

Neve was suspicious, but she replied, “Alright.”

Kenmel extended a hand to her and pulled her to her feet, supporting her weight. He was two years older than her with strength that ignited jealousy within her. She was intimidated by the older kids yet admired them at the same time. They could complete all ten laps in a fraction of the time it took Neve to complete seven. She could smell how clean Kenmel’s skin was, which made her self-conscious about the dirt caked on her own.

Her suspicion came back full-force when Kenmel passed her room. She looked over her shoulder at the disappearing door. She asked, “Where are you taking me?”

“To your room.”

“You already passed it.”

“No, I’m taking you to your new room.” 

Neve was too weak to rip herself from his grasp, so she stumbled along with his wiles. They stopped in front of a broom closet, and Kenmel grabbed a ring of keys from his pocket. He opened the door, throwing Neve in. She fell to the ground with a cry of pain. Closing and locking the door, Kenmel laughed.

He said, “Have fun in your new room!”

Neve slammed her hands on the door, shouting, “This isn’t funny! Get me out of here!”

“I’ll leave the keys here.” Neve heard the sound of keys hitting the floor followed by the sound of footsteps retreating down the hall. She huddled to the floor as close as she could and peered through the gap between the door and floor. Kenmel had dropped the keys out of reach of her fingers. 

“Hey!” Neve shouted, “Can anyone hear me?”

She swore she heard people giggling, but no one came to her aid. She sat there in the dark for hours, calling out whenever she heard someone come down the hallway. Sitting there in the dark with a parched throat and rumbling stomach, Neve fought back the urge to cry. If her supervisor found her crying, she would add laps. 

Neve wanted to go home. She wanted her mom to yell at her about getting water on the floor or walking into the house with muddy shoes. There were no warm hugs to help her fall asleep, and no hands to stroke her hair. The other trainees either mocked her or ignored her. 

She perked up when she heard footfalls. Neve called, “Can you help me?”

The steps stopped in front of the door, and a hand reached down to pick up the discarded keys. Neve stood up at the sound of the door unlocking. She wiped away the stray tears that escaped, hoping that her face wasn’t red or swollen. 

“Usoro, why am I not surprised?” Neve’s face fell at her supervisor’s voice. 

“Thank you for helping me, ma’am. Kenmel locked me in here.”

She tried to leave the room, but her supervisor pushed her back in. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To my cot?” Confusion laced her words. 

“No, you haven’t earned your cot.”

“What are you talking about?”

Her supervisor pushed her again, sending her stumbling into the wall. The door slammed closed, and the keys dropped to the ground once more. Her supervisor replied, “You can consider your cot earned when you leave this closet yourself.”

“Please, ma’am, don’t do this!”

“Goodbye, Usoro.” With a derisive laugh, her supervisor left her all alone. The tears she had held back poured down her face. She banged her fists against the door with angry shouts targeted at whoever could hear. 

Once she calmed down, she flattened herself to look out the gap. A relieved breath escaped her when she saw the her supervisor had dropped the keys closer than Kenmel. She squeezed her small fingers under the door, but she was just out of reach. She slapped the ground in rage, anger boiling out of her. 

It took deep, heavy breaths to subdue her anger. She searched the closet for something to grab the key. However, there was nothing that fit what she needed. When she was about to give up, she remembered that she had a straight pin in her shirt. They hadn’t had the correct uniform size, so they instead gave her pins to use. She wiggled the pin out of place, bending it into a hook shape. She slipped her hand back under the door, determined to get the keys. She let of a cry of success when the keys entered the closet. 

She raised a shaky hand, her stomach growling and her throat burning, and unlocked the door. The plain walls of the hallway were a welcome sight, and she fell against one of them in relief. She dragged herself to the nearest bathroom to refresh herself. She relieved the burning in her throat with greedy gulps from the tap. The tepid water tasted like rust and dirt, but it was better than nothing. 

The clearing of a throat pulled her attention from the water. In the mirror, Neve saw one of her roomates standing behind her. She wiped her mouth and asked, “What do you want?”

“Senior Officer Oyola has requested you.”

“Is that all?”

Arlire shuffled her feet before replying, “Your cot is gone.”

“What does that mean?”

“Supervisor Reat took it.”

Neve’s fingers curled into the cast iron sink. Her fingernails bent under the pressure of the grip. She hated her supervisor with every fiber of her being. Her mother always told her that she shouldn’t harbor ill will towards anyone in case the gods see it, but Neve knew that the gods would understand if they knew what Reat was like. 

“Where did she put it?” 

“The stables.”

“Why?” The choked-back emotion in her voice was palpable. Neve wasn’t overly emotional. She tried to confine herself to the emotions that made her feel good. She wanted to feel happy because then her mother was happy. She had barely cried as a baby, didn’t cry when her father left, didn’t get angry when the other kids bullied her, didn’t feel embarrassed when she was teased for having a crush on someone she didn’t, and didn’t get jealous of the little boys when her mother told her she wanted a son and not a daughter. Yet, all she had done for the last few months was cry and get angry and get jealous. Neve now knew that as much as she had asked her mother to treat her like a grown-up, she never had. She didn’t want to be a grown-up anymore.

Arlire softly said, “Reat said that only animals were stupid enough to get locked in a closet.”

“I see. Thank you for letting me know.” Neve gathered all of the politeness she had within her to shoot Arlire a smile. The girl looked confused at the sunny expression and watched as Neve walked out the bathroom without a word.

Neve felt the eyes of her peers boring into her back as she marched herself to the stables. Snickers and jeers from the direction of Kenmel’s room failed to faze her. She held her head high and without shame. If her supervisor thought she should sleep in the stables, that is where she shall sleep. 

Once she pushed open the doors to the barracks, a man ran into her. She stumbled back, muttering an apology under her breath. The sudden quiet behind her and the scampering of feet enticed her to look up. Senior Officer Oyola was in front of her. Her smiled his toothless smile when he saw her. He said, “I was looking for you.”

“I heard, sir.”

“Where are you going? It’s almost time for lights out.”

Neve averted her eyes and murmured, “My cot is in the stables.”

Eamon bent down so his ears were closer to her. “Can you repeat that? I didn’t quite catch what you said.”

“My cot’s in the stables, sir.”

“Huh.” A whisper of laughter went through the room. 

“What did you need me for?” Neve was acutely aware of everyone listening to them.

It seemed Eamon was also aware as he said, “It can wait until morning. Come to my office first thing. I’ll let your supervisor know where you’ll be.”

“Understood, sir.”

Neve walked past him into the cool night air. The stables were on the other side of the compound, so she had a ways to go before she could lay down. To occupy her thoughts, Neve imagined Kenmel and Reat trapping themselves into a closet while she had the keys. The neighs of the horses grew in volume as she approached their home. She saw her cot shoved into the corner of the room. With a deep sigh, she collapsed on the uncomfortable bed, kicking the thin blanket over her body. The horses’ whinnies lulled her to sleep, and she dreamt of her and her mother making the necklace she had always wanted.