Elias rinsed the dishes that his mother set for him after scrubbing them clean with a soapy sponge. He seemed to be getting lost in thought a little too often as he rinsed, almost dropping her precious tableware more than once. This forced her to nudge at his side or even jabbing her elbow to wake him from his trance.

“What’s wrong dear? You’re usually not this distracted.” Susan asked, her voice soft and tender.

The boy shook his head and smiled faintly. “It’s nothing.” He turned back, unable to see the living room where Jamie played with Emily. “Did you notice anything off with Jamie?”

“With Jamie? Both of you have been acting weird all day.” Susan couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “So something did happen.”

“Kinda?” Elias sighed, returning his attention to the pile of dishes that suddenly appeared before him. He grunted.

“Stop complaining and keep washing as you tell me.” Susan tilted her head, resting it on his shoulder.

“It’s just weird.” Elias sighed again, defeated as he resumed with the rinsing. “I’m used to Jamie keeping things to himself, he usually comes around and tells me what’s wrong. But lately it’s like he avoids me while not avoiding me- If that makes sense.”

“After seeing you two today, yes, it makes sense.” Susan laughed through her nose. Jamie had come over for dinner and talked as usual, but averted his eyes away from Elias and went as far as changing subjects to avoid talking to him. “It doesn’t look like he’s mad at you, maybe he’s just trying to work things out on his own.”

“Can you try talking with him? Maybe he’ll open up to you.” Elias said with a tired voice, reaching for a towel to dry his hands.

“I can try, but I won’t tell you anything he tells me.” She winked.

“That’s alright. I just want him to be able to let it out.” Elias moved to the table, wiping at it with a humid rag.

“Look at you, so mature and kind. Wonder who raised you to be such a good young man.” Susan said as she walked past him.

“Sometimes I wonder too.” He smirked in her direction.

“Haha, very funny.” She threw the towel she had used to try her hands at him, walking out of the dining room and into the living room.

There, she saw an endearing scene. Her husband had fallen asleep in the lovechair at the end of the room, and Emily sat on her prince’s lap as they watched the same movie for the millionth time that month. Jamie didn’t seem bored or bothered by the girl’s tugging and swaying, and he would let out a giggle and pat her small head from time to time.

On the screen, the prince made his way through the endless thorny vines, trying to reach the princess away in the tower. Emily cheered for the prince, as loud as she could without waking up her snoring father.

When she got closer, both Emily and Jamie turned to her, lifting a finger to their lips as they shushed her in inusion. She mimicked them and sat on the armrest of the couch where they sat.

“And Elias?” Jamie asked, turning away from the movie.

“He’s finishing up in the kitchen.” Susan smiled. “Say, think we can talk a little? In private?”

“No.” Emily interrupted. “If you take away Jamie you’ll be the evil queen.” She threatened.

“Can I borrow him?”

“No.” The small girl hugged Jamie around his neck, digging her knees in his lap.

“Emily, that hurts…” Jamie cried, but Emily only hugged him tighter.

“I promise I’ll return him.” Susan said.

Releasing her grip on her prince, Emily jumped off his lap, sitting at his side with a pout on her lips and her arms crossed. “Fine, but you better bring him back soon.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a possessive princess.” Jamie laughed, getting up to follow Susan.

“I do hope she gets over this phase soon.” Susan sighed when they were out of ears way. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m happy you’re her first love or if it conflicts me.”

“She’ll get over me.” He scratched his cheek, letting out a nervous laugh.

“I hope so.” Susan laughed, opening the door to the study. “Take a seat.”

“Somehow I feel like I’m getting scolded.” Jamie said as he sat in front of the desk.

“Come on, I’m not that intimidating.” She smiled as she sat behind the desk. “But I can see why you would feel that way. I really need to remodel the study don’t I?”

“It’s a good place to work in… To talk? Not so much.” Jamie admitted.

“I’ll see what I can do later.” She giggled. “But moving on. Jamie, unlike Elias, I’m not as patient.” She sighed. “He might wait until you’re ready to talk, but I get anxious watching my boys acting so weird.”

“And here I thought I was doing a good job hiding it haha…”

“Honey, you’re good at hiding a lot of stuff.” She looked between his legs and then at his red face. “Your arguments with Elias aren’t one of them.”

“We’re not arguing though!”

“You’re right, if that was the case, Elias would be avoiding you too.” Susan rested her chin on her interlaced fingers. “This is very one-sided on your part, it’s a little unfair don’t you think?” She smiled.

“It’s not like Elias did anything wrong.” Jamie looked down. “No one did anything wrong.”

“Then, what’s the matter?”

Jamie looked at his hands, moving them anxiously, as if he was trying to warm them on a cold winter night. He considered his words, he wasn’t even sure what to say. Had he really been that obvious? Then again, he had caught himself looking away whenever they met each other's eyes. He didn’t want to worry anyone, especially Elias.

“I’m just being dumb.” He finally said. “I kinda have a crush on a girl, but whenever we hang out it’s like she has a better time with Elias.” He held his hands together and clenched them tightly, his brows knitting. “I guess I’m just jealous…”

“Oh honey.” Susan lulled, getting up from her seat and walking up to him. “You should tell him that.” She encouraged.

“But he’s not doing anything wrong.” Jamie could see his vision blur behind the tears lining his eyes. “Honestly, he treats us all equally, and I’m just being dumb and insecure.” He wiped his eyes with his hand until Susan offered him a box of tissues.

“So you plan on just avoiding him?” She soothed his hair with a gentle hand. “What about this girl? Are you going to let her get in the way of your friendship with Elias?”

“Of- Of course not!” He shook his head. “But I can’t tell him yet… I’ve tried… But I choke on my words when I do.” Jamie sobbed. “I feel ashamed… For the first time in my life I’m jealous of someone being manly, being tall, being… Not me, and it’s my best friend I’m jealous of.”

“Jamie…”

“He accepted me when my parents didn’t. He never cared if my hobbies were weird. He helped me get my apartment. He brought me here to a place where I could call home and gave me a family. I’m sorry Susan. I’m sorry.” He hunched over himself, his tears staining his knees.

Susan allowed the boy to cry, hugging him and letting his head rest on her shoulder. Her knees would hurt later on, but she didn’t care. She was holding back tears of her own, being so sensitive to other’s emotions, having Jamie pour his heart in front of her was never easy.

His problem may have seemed trivial to others, but she’d known him for years now. She felt like she had pretty much raised him even though Elias had met him as they started college almost eight years ago.

She was so proud of both of them, she had even started calling them “her boys” somewhere along the line and it had been so natural she didn’t even notice. He had just called her family, the word tugged at her heart and she held him just a little tighter, a little closer.

Jamie heaved, trying to catch his breath as he sobbed. His cries were probably heard outside the study, he might have woken up Theo, and Elias and Emily would probably be worried, but he couldn’t help it. He felt Susan’s hands on his back, rubbing slowly and so warmly.

Ah, so that’s where Elias learned it from.

***

He didn’t know how long he had been crying for, but it felt like it had been an eternity. His chest hurt as he gasped for air, and his eyes were itchy and swollen. He looked up to see Susan give him a faint smile, brushing his hair back with thin fingers.

“All better?” She asked, her voice a little louder than a whisper.

Jamie nodded, sniffing up his runny nose.

Susan offered him more tissue, which he took and blew his nose.

“Can I stay in here for a bit? I bet I’m a mess…” Jamie said with a hoarse voice.

“Sure, but everyone in this house has seen you a mess before.” She teased.

Jamie winced, remembering that just a month he had cried just like this to Elias. He had been hurt then, but this time even after crying he still didn’t feel satisfied.

“Take all the time you need.” Susan patted his shoulder, walking past him.

When she opened the door, he heard Emily asking if he was ok, her voice laced in worry. He wanted to turn and reassure her himself, but he probably wouldn’t look too convincing. He was also afraid that Elias would be there, and just imagining his friend’s concerned expression made his chest tighten.

When he heard the door click close behind him, he leaned back on the chair, letting out a deep sigh. Maybe he’d take on a few more job offers to keep himself busy… Keep his mind occupied, even when he knew he was running away from this…

But he didn’t know what else to do.