“Fine, I give up.” I threw the suitcase on to my bed with a grunt. “It’s obvious you’re not going to change.”
“What are you doing, Jen?”
I shoved clothes into the suitcase at random. When I stopped, my heart pounded. I placed a hand over it, taking in the pulse. My eyes burned.
The tear fell as I turned to him. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“No, Jen. Let me explain.”
I zipped the suitcase. My voice was thick. “I’ll go to my mother’s. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Stop. I’ll tell you the truth.”
“I know enough, Carl. I know about her. I’ve seen you two walking together.”
“Yes. We’re together. But it’s not...there’s no passion in it. We have to do it.”
I slapped him.
“You have a right to be angry. But I don’t love her!”
“Then I’m even less right?” I nodded. “Uh huh. I figured as much.”
I flew towards the door.
“It’s because I’m dead.”
I stopped. “What?”
“It happened on the Honeymoon.” He sat on the edge of the bed. He stared forward, eyes empty. “You remember how I fell from that cliff. Then you went to see me in the hospital.”
“I met you outside. You said you were fine. You were healthy!”
“I never made it to the hospital, Jen.”
“That’s a sick joke.” I reached for the doorknob, but stopped. “Damn you! Why can’t you just let me go?”
“I should have. They said I needed to. But, Jen, I couldn’t. I was in love! You can look at my hospital records. I was never admitted. I died on the ambulance. You could interview them. I’ll show you.”
“This isn’t going to work!” I shivered. The hairs on my arms stood up. My blood turned cold. “No. It’s can’t be true.”
“I could have moved on, but I refused. That’s when they took me in.”
“So I’m not dead enough for you? Is that it?”
“It’s a law! I’m not even supposed to be seeing you now. But they were willing to overlook it, provided I followed the other rules.”
“Which are?”
His shoulders sagged. “I had to take a...Ghost Mate. Most people go with a spouse, but I knew you wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. And I wasn’t going to ask you to...ya know.”
“But that doesn’t make sense.”
“Veronica and I are married, but there’s no romance in it. It’s a formality put forward by them. Even couples who were married in life have to get married again. Ghost Marriage is, like, a separate thing. I don’t kiss her or anything. We’re friends.”
Just friends. But for how long?
“Look, Carl.” I took a breath. “I have all the respect in the world for people who are polyamorous. I really do! But I’m monogamous. That’s how I’m wired. And you’re my husband. I’m not interested in being in a polycule!”
“A what?”
I groaned. “If you’re going to be a polygamist, you might at least do your research! It’s like...I don’t know. A consensual love triangle. And that’s great, but I don’t want to be in a love triangle!”
“It’s a formality! It’s a stupid piece of paper!”
“To your mysterious elders, I’m willing to bet it’s more. Jesus. Why would ghosts need to get married? It’s not like you can have children!”
His face fell. “How do you know we can’t-”
“That’s why it didn’t work.” My voice was small, empty. “I thought it was me, that I was barren. But all the time it was you! And you refused to get tested, so I thought it had to be me. All those times we tried...”
“You would have wanted to know why we couldn’t try. It was easier to pretend we could. That we had a shot.”
“You always wanted children. Even more than I did.” I sat beside him. Trembling, I took his hand. “But you aren’t cold.”
“I would have grown cold without Veronica. There’s a ritual. If you don’t find a Ghost Mate, you grow colder and more distant. Eventually you go mad, or you have to move on. But if you have a Ghost Mate, that other person keeps you present. It keeps you grounded. Your energy...it connects, and then you can look after each other. You can stay.”
“And I couldn’t have tethered you?” I winced. “I wasn’t enough?”
“Jenny.” He shook his head, and took my hands. “You’re the only reason I stayed. If you walk out that door now, I’ll move on. I’ll disappear, and you’ll never see me again.”
“And Veronica?”
“She’ll be a widow.” He shrugged. “You don’t have to worry about her. There are plenty of other ghosts waiting.”
“That just seems so much like...a regency romance. Don’t people marry for love?”
“It’s exactly like a regency romance. It’s all practical. Everyone in the community does what they can to survive.”
“And it can’t be done with a living partner?”
“I’d be draining your life force away. A ghost’s soul is different from a mortal’s. You’d eventually die.”
“Maybe I want to die.”
“Don’t. That’s why I couldn’t tell you. Don’t off yourself.”
I pulled my hands away. “Well, you don’t have to put it like that!”
“How else should I put it?”
“You promise not to fall in love with her?”
“Of course. What would be the point of living, or existing, if I didn’t have you?”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Carl.” I leaned into him. His arm enfolded me. “If she makes you laugh too much, I’ll leave.”
“No, baby.” He stroked my arm. “It’s never going to be like that. I’m here for you.”
“And I’m here for you. When I do die, I’ll be expecting to hear about the divorce.”
“You can count on it.”
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