There was a crunch, and the man was encased in ice: he crumpled to the ground, shattering. Daniel drew in a breath. His eyes—our mother’s eyes—met mine, an electric blue. He shrugged and crossed the cavern. The stone gleamed on a metal pedestal; it gave off a faint green glow.
“The things you make me do...” He shook his head, eyeing the fragments which remained of the pirate.
I pawed through them. “A few gold coins. A pack of cards. Oh, and a couple of cigarettes. Not a bad find.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Is that even ethical?”
“If anything is unethical, it’s waste.” I pocketed the treasures. “He can’t take the stuff with him. Unless you subscribe to the beliefs of the Egyptians.”
Daniel reached for the stone.
“Wait! Are you sure you’re ready to leave?”
“Leave?”
I stomped up to him. “Come on, Daniel. You know how this works.” I grinned. “There’s no way they’re going to let us just take it!”
“Booby traps? Even with the guards?”
I glanced at the ice shards. They were already melting, leaving red stains. “I think the guards were the easy part.”
Daniel drew back. “Maybe you should take it.”
“No way! You’re the one with medical coverage. If I get impaled by spikes, no way will I be able to afford those expenses on a waitress’s wage.”
“So I have to get the spike through the neck because I made the right life choices?”
I shrugged. “I don’t even have insurance.”
“We’re going to be rich when we sell this stone. Will that matter?”
“It will matter to me if I have to spend the entirety of my share on medical costs. I was kind of hoping to buy a small house.”
Daniel snorted. “This thing could be worth three million dollars. I’m sure you could get something bigger.”
“Okay.” I rolled my eyes. “A medium house. This is still Vancouver. I’ll need the rest of the money to cover the property taxes for the year.”
“And when you run out of money?”
I laughed. “Then I’ll sell it.”
“But that defeats the purpose!”
“Daniel, just grab the stupid stone.”
“But-”
“I’ll move to the Okanagan. But not now. I’m not ready to leave the city yet. This is where all the treasure is!”
“And the pirates.” Daniel’s hand flashed out: the moment he snatched up the stone, the cavern began to shake. We grasped each other with identical gasps. Dust spewed from the ceiling. A crack snaked up the wall.
“This isn’t good,” I said.
“You don’t say.” Daniel pocketed the stone. He tugged on my sleeve. “Come on!”
We ran up the tunnel. We passed the other pirates we had dispatched. Their steel armour glittered. I gathered up their pistols.
“What are you going to do with those?”
“Sell them, of course. I know the right way to post a vague ad on Craigslist.” We jogged up stone stairs. Daniel smacked his head on the low ceiling, and I made a mental note to save the swear word he used for another occasion. The cave blended into a house of polished wood. The doors, the ceiling, the walls, the floor—everything was shiny bark, bringing with it scents of trees and wax.
We dodged around velvet armchairs and fake busts. When we emerged into the driveway, a black cube sat in it’s centre.
Daniel and I froze.
The shaking stopped, but several lines along the cube glowed blue. There was a hiss, and it’s walls toppled outward. The dragon, purple and glittering, hissed at us.
“Maybe it’s too young to breathe fire.” Daniel sounded hopeful.
The dragon reared it’s head back. We dodged with a second to spare: the fire cut a stream between us. We exchanged a glance, before pelting towards the car. Daniel threw himself into the driver’s seat. I landed beside him with a huff. He jabbed a button, and the car purred to life. Air conditioning blew over my face as we backed up.
We spun on to the road. The dragon flapped it’s wings and growled, but tramped back to the cube. I saw it’s sides enclose the beast. Trees swallowed the property. As we drove, a river snaked along our left.
We drove into Port Moody, passing small restaurants, grocery stories, and a sky train station. Half an hour later, we were on Vancouver’s edge—trapped in a traffic jam while the car in front of us managed, within five minutes, to break three laws.
“It’s called a signal.” Daniel scowled. “How do these people get licenses?”
“I think people just buy them.” I sighed. “And you wonder why I don’t want a car.”
Daniel laid on his horn.
“Hey, take it easy! Cortisol is bad in large doses!”
Daniel cursed. “This isn’t a good place for a fight. Hell, people could get hurt. And then it would be our fault.”
“They might not chase us until night. Relax.”
“Relax? Relax? We just stole a rare and magical stone from a mafia leader who leads a band of pirates. Don’t tell me to relax!”
“Or yell at everything. If we do get attacked, a temper tantrum will be just the thing.”
“Shut up, Lucy.”
“I’d like to.” I forced my shoulders to deflate. “But when you start screaming at everything-”
“Alright, I’m sorry.” He exhaled. “I’m cool.”
“Okay!” I adjusted my seat, leaning back. “I’m just going to take a nap then.”
“You had a nap on the way here.”
I threw my jacket over my eyes. “Yeah, but my card got declined when I went to buy coffee this morning. So I’m running on zero caffeine here.”
And zero breakfast. And zero lunch. But I don’t expect you to care.
We reached his house within the hour. I tried to fight back the ball that rose in my stomach when I looked at it. A second car gleamed in the garage. The backyard was at least as large as my place, and there were three floors.
What the hell does one person do with all that space anyways?
I’d told myself I’d be happy with a one room cottage in the Kootenays. I’d build a trailer in the middle of nowhere, maybe in Yak, and have Amazon deliver anything I needed. Even the tiniest towns had general stores, places to buy cigarettes and ice cream.
In theory, I was happy with that - until I saw the rooms full of books, the sunlit studio, and the swimming pool that sparkled between the many flower pots. I glared at the barbecue.
Daniel is a vegetarian.
“What’s the matter now?”
I pointed to the barbecue. “You like to waste money, huh?”
“It’s for guests.”
“I could use one of these.” I patted the top. “You know, because I actually like meat. Christmas is just three months away. Did you know that?”
“You can buy your own when we sell the stone.” He tossed it on to the kitchen table as we drifted back inside. “You can take most of the profit. I don’t care.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“For someone who doesn’t need my pity, you sure complain a lot.”
I crossed my arms. “Is a barbecue for Christmas really too much to ask?”
“And what will I get this time? Another mug?”
“Hey, that was a nice mug. It cost forty dollars!” I trembled. “Or should I just hand you my whole cheque?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“So you didn’t like the mug. Good to know.”
Daniel flinched. “I didn’t mean that.”
I nodded. “Yeah you did.”
“I just have lots of mugs.” He pulled up a chair. After frowning, I pulled up one across from him. I was even envious of the furniture—what was it like to look at a table, and not see scratches down the side?
“I thought you could get me something more...unique.” He twisted a pair of earbuds between his fingers. “I don’t want anything fancy.”
“I could get you a knuckle sandwich.”
Daniel looked up. After a moment, he grinned. I chuckled, and he joined me. We both shook our heads.
My eyes flickered to the stone. Something unique?
“What about a puppy? It should be a crime to have a place this spotless. A dog would take care of that empty feeling.”
“Empty feeling?”
“This looks like a Hallmark film set. You wouldn’t know anybody lives here.”
“Well, Isabelle cleans everything.”
“Your girlfriend?”
He rolled his eyes. “My maid.”
“What, she can’t be both?” Seeing his glare, I sighed. “Seriously, you need to loosen up.”
There was a screech. We ran to the window. Daniel’s car, red and spotless, shot from the garage. After rolling three times, it was no longer spotless. The windshield was a web of cracks. Something purple stomped from the garage.
“The dragon.”
Daniel reached for his belt, and swore. “I left my swords in the backseat.”
“How lucky I’m here.” I dashed down the stairs. The dragon swivelled to face me as I burst from the door. An orange glow grew in it’s throat. I threw the dagger; it caught in the beast’s neck, and it screeched. I ran forward, chanting: there was a hiss, and the dragon became an ice sculpture. I kicked it, and it shattered over the lawn.
Daniel stumbled out. He groaned. “Great. It’s going to start rotting on my lawn. I just had this serviced.”
“You’re welcome.” I prodded a piece with my foot. “Ugh, it’s already stinking.”
“So what now?”
“Now? We sell the stone, and it becomes a new guy’s problem.” I approached the car. “Maybe it was good thinking on your part to buy another vehicle.”
“These things happen.” He shrugged.
“Where should we start?”
“The Black Market would be a good start.”
“And then Dark Annie’s Emporium?”
“If we have to.” Daniel studied the car, frowning. “We should try the Warlock’s Bizarre. They might have some repair scrolls.”
“They’d be more likely to take the carcass.”
“What carcass?” Daniel’s gaze followed mine to the lawn. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“It’s in pieces, but the scales are intact.”
“Isabelle isn’t going to like this.”
“So clean it yourself.” I smeared my hands with blood as I bundled up the dead dragon parts. “You’re not obligated to subject her to this.”
“I don’t think I can...” Daniel gagged.
“Three hundred, and I’ll do it.”
Daniel met my eyes. “Deal.”
“There’s no law against carting a smelly dead dragon body on the bus?”
“Offer everyone nose plugs. It should go over well.”
As we trucked towards the house, there was a roar. A shadow blotted out the sun. We glanced up to see something purple flapping it’s wings. It growled, a low sound.
“I think we just found the mother.”
Daniel sighed. “That’s going to get all over my house.”
“I’ll clean it up for another one thousand.”
“Deal.” Together, we approached the dragon. We chanted the old words. When the dragon blew out a plume of flame, the fire, too, was locked in ice.
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