That's how the rest of the night went. Jem moved back and forth between us but as the night went on his gentle touches became nips to the neck, surely leaving marks all over both of us, which made focusing on the game so much harder than it was before.
"You seem tired," he said when he forced me back onto his lap after finishing a game with Patrick.
"It's late," Patrick sighed as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "I don't see how you aren't tired."
"Years of practice I guess," Jem mumbled. "Are you ready for bed?"
I don't bother lying as my eyes become heavier by the second.
I could feel Jem smile against my neck before his hands tightened around my waist. Before I had the chance to protest I was being lifted up. My eyes shot open while my hands clutched onto his shirt.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to drop you," he said with a small chuckle as he began walking to the room I had been using.
I could vaguely hear Patrick walking behind us and just as he was about to disappear into his room, Jem bid him good night with a wink, to which Patrick rolled his eyes at before shutting the door behind him.
"I'll see you in the morning," he said to me as he lowered my body down to the bed.
"Are you going to bed too?"
"I have a little bit more work to do, then I will," he said simply but I only frowned up at him.
"You seem tired," I teased, stealing his words made him frown down at me.
"I'll survive with a bit less sleep," he dismissed.
I may have been tried but I'm still a therapist.
I had my suspicions from the start but after Jem had his bad nightmare a few days ago and now that he was all but avoiding sleep now, it was clear that he had problems with it.
"The bed is cold," I huffed out the lie as he reached for the door handle.
"I have an extra blanket in my room. I can go get it for you."
"I think you are probably warmer than a blanket."
Jem's soft features turned into a small glare as I made room for him on the bed.
"I have work to do."
"Then you should have done that instead of playing games with us all night."
Jem rolled his eyes a bit as he opened the door.
"I'll get you a blanket."
"Jem please lay down with me." It came out more like a whine then anything else but it was enough to get him to stop in his tracks.
"I have to sleep a certain way and I know you won't like it so please don't make it harder," Jem sighed.
"You sleep naked?" I could feel my eyes widen as I waited for his answer. He chuckled a bit before shaking his head and turning back to me.
"I have to have the dogs in the bed for one and I prefer to have a gun under my pillow. The gun is debatable, I don't need that as much but the dogs aren't negotiable."
I couldn't help but frown at that. Of course he was going to be difficult.
"They wouldn't touch me though, right?"
"In this little ass bed? Yes but not on purpose. There's just not enough room for two big ass dogs, both of us, and Charlie who sleeps however he wants."
I huffed as I pulled the blankets off of me before taking Jem by the arm and walking down the long hallway.
I stood at his door for a second, waiting for him to tell me no but when it didn't come I forced it open and dragged him inside.
All three dogs looked me. Their tails wagged but they seemed to remember the command Jem gave them a few days ago considering they looked away and went back to what they were doing.
"So what side do you sleep on," I asked even though it was obvious. Jem's bed was pushed up against the wall so you had to crawl over one side to get to the other. The side closest to the wall was messy and undone while the other only had a few wrinkles were the dogs clearly messed it up.
"You can sleep on that side," he said as pointed to the side he clearly slept on. Before allowing me to lie down though, he reached under his pillow for something before moving it to the other one. He didn't allow me to see it but it was still clear what it was.
"It's not going to go off in the middle of the night, is it," I asked as I lay down.
His bed was surprisingly soft. I was expecting it to be hard since Jem doesn't seem like the kind of person to sleep on a cloud but I wasn't complaining one bit.
"It's on safety," he dismissed as he crawled in next to me. "It's not going off unless I want it to."
I nodded as Jem lay on his back stiffly. His dogs lay at the foot of the bed, looking like they were about to go back asleep while the man beside me began to fidget.
He turned on his side, facing away from and towards the door while one hand slipped under his pillow. He looked more relaxed but I could tell he was still stiff.
I had come to learn that Jem did things rather routinely whenever he could. His job made that hard but you could still see it if you were paying attention. He woke up about the same time every day, after finishing up in the bathroom he came out to get coffee, then he spent about 20 minutes watching the sunrise, then he got dressed and started whatever work he had for the day.
He had done this every morning, to the letter, ever since I got here and it was clear that when something messed up his schedule, he got fidgety like this.
Something was missing and he wasn't doing it because I was here.
"You can do it," I said after a while, his fidgeting getting worse with every passing minute. "I don't know what it is but you can do it. I won't say anything."
"It's stupid," he grumbled. "I shouldn't have to do it."
"I work with people who have OCD, I understand that sometimes you have to do things that you 'shouldn't' have to do in order for things to feel right."
"I don't have OCD, I'm just controlling. That's not an excuse."
"It's not a bad thing either."
I couldn't stop myself as I scooted closer to him. My arm wrapped around his side as I pulled up closer.
"This feels weird. I'm usually the big spoon," he said with a small frown and I couldn't help but laugh.
We stayed like that for only a few minutes before he sighed.
His fingers snapped, gaining the dog's attention quickly before he pointed at the door.
"Watch."
I had thought it was a command for me to watch whatever final step of his routine was but when three little heads snapped to the door, I couldn't help but frown a bit.
He stared down at the bed, not being able to look me in the eyes.
I kept my promise not to say a word as I pulled his closer and let my eyes close but I still felt bad for him. He was anxiety ridden and hurt to watch knowing he hid it from everyone.
It made me wonder how often he had anxiety attacks and just had to suffer through them with a smile on his face just so no one would know.
I didn't like the thought of it, but I made a promise to myself that I was going to fix it.
Sorry I had to split it into two chapters but this was entirely too cute so it's worth it.
Also I know some people might not have picked up on it but Jem changed what side of the bed he slept on so that if someone broke in, they would shoot him, not Andrew and that's soo fucking adorable, I'm sorry if you don't agree.
Last updated january 4, 2022
Comments (5)
See all