Patrick's POV
"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying," Andrew asked loudly, making my attention snap up to him.
The simple answer was no.
All I could think about all day how Jem's lips and breath felt on my neck last night along with the words he would whisper every now and then before he tugged on my ear lobe.
I hated admitting it to myself but if I let my mind wander for even a few minutes I was pulled back to last night.
I couldn't remember the last time Mary had treated me like that. Of course we never played video games all night, I never expected that of her to begin with but when was the last time she kissed me just for the sake of affection and not because she didn't want sex? When was the last time we just sat down and watched a show or movie without it ending in a screaming match or with one of us sleeping on the couch?
Hell the last time she gave me a hickey was the last night of our honeymoon. After that she always said it was unprofessional and childish to walk around with hickeys.
I didn't realize how much I missed them until Jem covered me in them. I hadn't even bothered to hide them at work and incredibly so, no one asked about it seeing as they weren't any of their business.
But how was I supposed to tell Andrew that?
"Of course I was listening," I brushed off quickly as I pulled my attention back to the TV. "You were talking about what you wanted for dinner."
He gave me a skeptically look but I must have gotten it right since he didn't correct or scold me.
"And what do I want for dinner?"
I froze.
"Japanese," I said, hoping it came out more like a statement but I knew it ended up sounding like a question.
"Asian," he sighed as he pulled up a menu on his phone. "What do you think Jem will want?"
"I don't know. He doesn't seem like the picky type but it would suck if we got him something he won't eat. I'd go ask Barrett. You know he's not going to eat unless there's enough for everyone so we might as well get him and Devon something too," I sighed.
This was getting more expensive by the second but I knew I was right. A while ago we were at the hospital for Liam's boyfriend and he ended up giving me his food and went hungry for the night; I wouldn't be surprised if he would do that again for his friends.
Andrew let out a loud groan as he dramatically melted off the couch before getting up and walking down the hall to Barrett's room.
"I saw you slept in Jem's room last night. How was it," I asked when Andrew sat back down on the couch.
The simple question had his face turning a bright shade of red as he forced his eyes to stare at the TV.
"We didn't do anything," he grumbled, shoving his face in his hands to hide the color of his cheeks but his neck was a dead give away that he was still affected.
"The question still stands," I teased purely because I couldn't help it.
"He's not a cuddler. I thought he was going to act all badass on the outside but then when the lights went out he would turn into a koala," he pouted. That didn't really surprise me to be honest. Jem may act flirty and affectionate but I couldn't see him like people hanging all over him.
"You should have known better than to get into his bed if you were looking for a cuddle buddy."
"It's not like there are any other options."
I bit my tongue hard.
Jem was rubbing off on me too much. I had almost offered him a place in my bed before I caught myself.
"There's always Devon. I bet he's a great cuddler," I forced out after I caught myself.
"I'm more of a fuck and dump type of guy but believe what you want I guess," Devon's deep monotone voice filled the room but surprisingly his usually scowl had turned into a barely noticeable smirk as he walked to the door. "I'm going to go pick up the food."
I didn't have a chance to defend my words before Devon closed the door behind him. I had a feeling this was going to make our car rides to work a lot more uncomfortable from now on.
I forced myself to look back at the TV. It was playing some stupid show about gay skateboarders. I hadn't been paying attention to it at all up until now since Andrew picked it out, claiming this was one of Jem's subscriptions and not his but if I had to judge by the look on his face, he had still seen the show before.
"Do you even want to be with Jem," Andrew asked after a while. Neither of our eyes pulled away from the show as a frown covered our faces. "Or are all of us just looking for a distraction?"
"I honestly don't know," I sighed after a while.
I wanted Jem. There was no doubt about that in my mind. I didn't care that it was confusing or that I just got a divorce, I wanted that man.
The problem came when I got in the mood to take him up on his offer and I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I had almost caved a few times since living here but every time I was one step away from it, anxiety clawed my chest.
I had never been with a guy and I could tell just by looking at Jem that he was plenty experienced with both men and women. I knew I wouldn't be able to get him off so I would really just be going to him purely for myself and that wasn't fair so there was no point in it.
That and I had always heard that it hurt and since I wasn't into that, there wasn't a reason to cave for him.
Still, I couldn't deny the fact that all Jem had to do was look at me just the right way to make my dick twitch.
"Do you want him," I asked as I pulled my eyes away from the show and over to Andrew.
His shoulders shrugged.
"I'd like to experience it I guess but I don't know if I could ever be with someone like Jem long term."
"You have a point. It's hard to be with someone who has a dangerous job."
"It's not the job I care about," he said, making my eyes widen a bit. "He's too distant. He can be so sweet and he's clearly good at sex but it's only been a few days since he had that nightmare and disappeared for days. Devon and Barrett both told us to stay out of it so it at least happens often enough for them to have a routine for it. I couldn't live with someone knowing I could wake up one morning and have them be sweet and loving and waking up the next and having them act like I didn't exist."
I hadn't really thought about that. I was kind of used to it at this point.
I went days without seeing Mary on a regular biases towards the end. Even though I still loved her at that point neither of us wanted to start another petty fight so eventually we found excuses to stay away from each other. I guess we see how well that worked out for us though. I didn't really want to do that to a long time partner again.
"Still, if I had to pick a guy to loose it to, who better to do it with than Mr. Sex on Legs," he said shamelessly with a small smirk.
I couldn't stop the laugh bubbling up in my chest before it was bouncing around the room.
"Now how can you say something like that and then blush when I asked about you sleeping in the same room as him?"
He only shrugged as his eyes went back to the screen.
Soon enough Devon was back. He placed the bags of food on the table before digging his out and disappearing back into his room just as Barrett came out.
Dinner passed quickly. Barrett surprisingly watched the show with us while pointing out a few skateboard tricks that he knew and saying there was no way he went into that move with that kind of stance but after a while I just tuned him out.
Jem came in much later than usual with a tired look on his face. His eyes were trained to the ground as he tried to make his way to his office.
"We bought food if you want some," Andrew said before he could make it very far.
"I'm not that hungry," he said blankly.
"Fucking bullshit," Barrett scoffed. "Ramsey told me what happened at the warehouse, I know you haven't had anything today."
"What happened at the warehouse," I found myself asking before I had a chance to stop myself.
"And why are you wearing different clothes than this morning?" Andrew's voice was skeptically as he stared at the clothes that didn't exactly seem to be Jem's style.
"People were fucking stupid," Jem spat, his voice already so different than the one he had only a few seconds ago. "And my shirt got dirty. Some how some boxes got muddy and it got all over my clothes. I couldn't stand it being on me so I changed clothes."
He inched closer to his office while Barrett glared at him.
"Come eat before you pass out or something."
"I don't have time."
"How much time does it really take to eat," Andrew asked with a glare of his own.
"More time than I have at the moment," Jem said as he took a deep breath, clearly trying to force calmness in his voice. "I finally have a led on who tried to kill you two so if you don't want to be dead I need to go."
"What'd you find out," Barrett asked excitedly while Andrew stood up from the couch and grabbed Jem by the arm.
"You can work after you eat. We aren't going to die in the few minutes it takes you to eat." I watched as he pushed Jem on the couch before going to the bar for a second and coming back with the food we had ordered Jem.
Jem groaned as he took the plate from Andrew. I expected him to scarf it down so he could get back to what he was doing but he ate slowly as he glared down at the coffee table. His eyes were fogged over and it was clear he was in a world of his own as he his moved to feed him. You could practically see the stress coming off of him.
"If he's acting like this it must be bad," Barrett said with a small sigh.
"That's what exactly what every person in protected custody wants to hear," I said with a small eye roll as I forced myself to look away from the man beside me.
"I just wanted to prepare you," he muttered.
"How bad is it on a scale from it's literally nothing and he over reacted to there is no way we are getting out alive," Andrew asked but I could tell he didn't really want to know the answer.
"Well considering we're talking about Jem, neither of you are going to die," he dismissed making Andrew instantly relax. "He might die protecting you but you won't so that options out. Realistically I'd say we'll all survive but Jem, Devon, and I will have a few more bullet scars by the time it's over."
That didn't make me feel much better but he somehow said it in a way where it didn't sound all that bad.
Jem stood up after a while. His eyes were still fogged over and a crease took over his forehead in thought.
I had expected him to just go to his office but he only made his way to the kitchen. His movements were all but robotic as he moved to make whatever his plan was.
"Crain isn't the problem," he muttered to himself as he began cracking eggs into a bowl. "A sniper could get him out easily; I could probably even pay someone to do that just to keep my name clean. Lord knows he has plenty of enemies, someone would be more than willing to get payback from him."
"The problem is his boss. Ash said he didn't know who his boss was so I could get extremely lucky and have it be just some random dude. But if it really is a mafia, I'm fucked. They won't stop until I'm dead. I could always fake my death though, it wouldn't be that hard."
"Does he get like this often," I whispered while leaning over to Barrett.
Jem was currently dumping flour, sugar, and coco into another bowl before stirring it way too hard and fast; his muttering never slacking up.
"I mean, it's not like an every day thing but if the threat is big enough and he can't figure out what to do, then yea. He says it helps to talk it out even if he's not actually talking to anyone," Barrett said with a small frown.
Andrew was about to say something when Jem completely froze. His eyes were still fogged over but they bounced around as if he were trying to connect imaginary dots.
Jem hummed and as if it never happened, his eyes focused. His movements became more Jem-like while a small smile covered his face.
"I take it you figured it out," Barrett teased as he turned back to the TV.
"Yep."
"What did you come up with," Andrew asked but Jem was already shaking his head as he poured the batter into a pan before sliding it into the oven.
"Nothing you'll approve of so let's just leave it at that," was all he said. "I have to go plan shit, let me know when that timer goes off." He didn't bother saying anything else as before taking off towards his office.
"This is going to be so much fun," Barrett promised as a smirk took over his face but his promise didn't make me feel anymore at ease.
Last updated January 7, 2022
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