Today, the whole campus was celebrating. Everyone was busy preparing for the party being held tonight, a party that was for once approved by the campus administration. Karl was coming back. They would welcome him the best they could. Food stalls were being prepared all across campus. Bands were rehearsing their hurriedly-arranged songs. Delivery men were bringing in boxes of beer and juice. Pictures of Karl with penises and cuss words written on them were being hung as a sign of affection. Quinn was himself one of the leading painters of Karl’s pictures. He took the trouble of adding pubic hairs to the balls he drew on Karl’s mouth. His sense of realism pleased him and his friends behind him who were laughing loudly. Vandalizing Karl’s face was a secret and easy revenge from Quinn’s part, though he knew that, if anything, it would make Karl really happy to be thought of this much.

Darcy, who had finished with her lectures (it was a Saturday so she only had two hours in the morning,) was watching curiously the preparations take place. Since Quinn's call, she had been feeling a little heavy. His voice, which she hadn't heard in so long, which she had wished she would never hear again, was echoing in her head like a scream in a deserted cave. As for Karl himself, a part of her wanted to attend and finally meet him, while the other took Quinn’s words seriously and worried about how Karl would behave around her. A person who had been tortured would probably never be the same again. From his obscure writing style, and his knowledge about several aspects of her private life, Darcy also guessed that Karl was not an angel incarnate, to say the least. He would probably be as fucked up as Quinn, if not worse. She had made this analogy with Quinn in her head, because she was looking at the said man drawing penises on Karl’s face. He seemed to be having fun, judging from that wide smile across his pink lips. Darcy scuffed. Boys would have fun whenever penises were involved. Her heart stopped at the memory of the big-breasted woman leaving Quinn’s room, and the shirtless Quinn sitting with his head low. Feeling suddenly grim, Darcy turned away from the scene and walked away. She would go home tonight. Fuck Quinn. Fuck Karl. Fuck this party. She would spend time with her sister at home, and ask her about her life in high school. Quinn watched her as she left, his smile waning as his heart throbbed painfully.

The bus ride was peaceful enough. The sun was shining warmly through the window, and Darcy had seen a fluffy dog playing in a puddle. It put a smile on her sorrow-ridden face. She hugged her dad as soon as she saw him. He hugged her back just as affectionately. As they walked back home, Darcy told him about the boy finally being found, and the campus celebrating. He had asked her why she didn’t stay for the party, and she had replied that she would much rather spend her weekend with her family. This made her dad smile. Once they arrived home, Darcy hugged her mom too, and her 16-year old sister. They both seemed pleasantly surprised by this unusual show of affection, but they made no comment about it. They dined happily together, exchanging news here and there. Darcy told them about her novel at work. She had never discussed her work with anyone before, except for Quinn that one time when he asked her about the title. Her family seemed shocked to know that she was a writer and a well-known one at that; (she was popular online.) She watched as her sister Googled Hard-boiled. Her hazel eyes shone in admiration and respect at the number of followers her older sister had. Her mother chuckled lovingly. Darcy noticed that age had started to make itself visible on her mother’s features.

“I should have named you Sherlock if I knew you’d be so into detective novels.” Everyone laughed at her comment.

“Yeah,” Darcy nodded, “Maybe if you did I would have grown to hate detectives and love Jane Austen, god forbid.” Another fit of laughter went around the table.

“We study about her in my class,” Intervened Sissy, her little sister, “She seems pretty lame. I mean, classical gentlemen are so old-school. I am more into the bad-boy type.” Their dad seemed alerted at the potential of his little Cecilia having a boyfriend. Her mother, on the other hand, seemed to relate to her daughter in a way.

“Maybe I should add a hot bad-boy character in my current novel. My protagonist wouldn’t want to be lonely in her adventure, after all. We all need a side-kick.” Why did she say ‘we?’ Darcy internally wondered. And why did she think of Quinn and their reading Karl’s journal together? No, she would not let them ruin this for her.

“That’d be cool, sis. Make him have black hair, oh and blue eyes. No beard please, I hate beards on guys.” Their dad shamefully caressed his whitening beard. Their mother laughed. Darcy chuckled too. Yeah, beards were lame. Who would want to touch hair when they touch a guy’s face? She had replied, and thought about Quinn’s almost shining skin.

“Any other qualities you’d like him to have, Sissy?” She placed the spoon-full of food in her mouth as she spoke.

“Hmmm... I want him to be like the bad guy on the outside, but an inner softie, you know?” Darcy nodded in comprehension. She used to like bad boys too, before she completely forgot about romance as it had nothing to do with her.

Darcy.

I am hopelessly and completely in love with you.

Darcy was growing angry. Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? Why did he have to plague her thoughts even when she was this far away from him? Asshole. But it was good that he was smiling this morning. She had been worried about him, but he seemed alright. Fuck him though, she reminded herself.

After their lunch, Darcy followed Cecilia into her room. She showed her all her favorite Pop stars and T.V series. She told her about her friends in high school, which reassured Darcy greatly. At least she had friends. She was not being bullied. That was an immense relief in itself. She also told her about her crush, who, expectedly enough, had the same features as the man she had described to Darcy.

“Hey, sis. What about you? Do you have someone you like?” Darcy took some time to decide whether or not to answer her sister truthfully.

“Yeah. I do. He’s a bitch though. So I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.”

Sissy’s eyes gleamed with a child-like curiosity. “Really??? I was almost sure you’d say no. Why is he a bitch? Did he hurt you?”

“He did, pretty bad too. I don’t think he meant to though. He doesn’t know that I feel the same way about him. So I bet he never thought that I’d care if he...”

“Slept around?”

Darcy looked at her sister, alarmed.

“You’re too young to be saying these things, dummy!” She elbowed her sister scoldingly. Sissy laughed, enjoying this genuine moment with Darcy.

“Don’t tell mom and dad, but most of my classmates actually had their first times.”

“At only 16???” Darcy seemed horrified.

“Well yeah. Their partners are also of the same age, so it’s fine, right?”

“No, that’s not the point... Wait, did you do it too??”

“Ah, no.” Cecilia seemed a little lost in thought as she replied. “It’s a little scary, and I don’t wanna get pregnant by accident.”

Darcy could not have been more proud. She hugged her sister and patted her head approvingly.

“Good girl. If you feel tempted to, please make sure you're at least 18, that it’s with the right person, and that you’re using protection.”

The box of condoms in Quinn’s closet flashed into her brain like the sudden strike of thunder in a pitch black sky. She frowned, and hugged her sister more tightly, seeking refuge from this haunting memory.  

“Yeah I know, though about this guy you like. Are you planning to tell him how you feel?”

“Naah, why would I? It’s hopeless anyway. We’re too different, and I don’t want to be hurt again.” Darcy was surprised at the ease with which she talked about Quinn to Sissy.

“Says who?” protested the blond girl. “I mean, you never tried it, right? So how could you know it’s hopeless?” Darcy seemed impressed at her sister’s insight.

“Sometimes you don’t have to try to know. It’s just the way things are.”

“But you’ll regret it one day. Even if you get hurt, then at least you wouldn’t blame yourself. Like, at least you tried.”

“Okay, Grandma.” Darcy chuckled. Cecilia is pretty mature for her age. She kissed her cheek, and the latter blushed deeply. “Thinking like that in itself is a luxury that I cannot afford, Sissy. I am a big coward. I am not someone who’d take risks like that.”

“Is it... is it because of what happened in high school?”

Oh, Darcy thought. Their parents told her then. “Yeah, I guess it’s a big part of the reason why I am like this.” Cecilia embraced her older sister, and seemed on the verge of tears. “I wish I was born before you.” She exclaimed. “If I was, I would have kicked the ass of anyone who dared hurt you.”

Darcy could not control the tears welling up in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around her little body, and hid her face in Cecilia’s neck. “Let me know... if anyone... hurts you... okay?” she muttered between sobs. “I’ll kick their asses.” Cecilia started crying too, and nodded aggressively into her sister’s chest.