I tried not to bump into anybody as I walked around the club looking for somebody to give a lap dance to. I felt a few people “bump” into me and touch my ass, but I was going to get paid paid so it didn’t matter.

I already made a few hundred dollars from just walking around. I hadn’t even hit the stage yet. It really was just another night. There were strippers that showed up nearly everyday and really loved the game that much. Kari was one of them, but lately she’s kept talking so damn much about Tomas, her dude with a jaguar tattoo on his face. I had to admit, it did compliment his skin but his whole vibe was the real problem. I’ve only dealt with him once or twice and that was once and twice too many.

I had my Thanksgiving with her and a few others of my found family. I had to have been a minor the last time I had Thanksgiving with my real family.

They might release him soon, she kept saying as we ate our good ol’ KFC dinner alongside some tequila.

Is he gonna live with family? I replied hopefully.

Then she just gave this weird-ass smile.

Were they gonna move in together? Then a worse thought came. She’s gonna try to move him in.

The writing might’ve been on the wall. A lot of hoes didn’t make sound judgments when it came to dick, and Kari was in fact one of those hoes. I wouldn’t put it past her to marry Tomas for him to get a spousal visa.

I pushed all those thoughts out and made eye contact with a couple of dudes sitting in the corner. The type of dudes who sit sunken off to the side, giving dudes ratings as if they had a chance with any of them.

“Hey, fellas,” I said approaching.

“Hey there, chocolate bunny.” one of the guys said, turning to his friend, “looks like Easter came early.” Then they laughed.

Ugghhhhhhh. 

I tried walking past them, somebody else could deal with them. Looking different from the others, I had to give off an aura of dignity. I couldn’t be desperate for anyone’s attention.

Then I saw him. Goto, one of my regulars. It looked like he just walked in.

He went straight for me. He held my hand then leaned in to whisper, “Can I speak with you?”

I just looked at him and nodded. We walked away from swarms of people as he held his hand on my shoulder.

We sat by the bar. He handed me a wad of cash. “Here.” He kept his hand on top of mine as he handed it to me. It felt comforting.

“I’ve been thinking of you.”

We stared at each other.

I spent a good while just talking to him. I tried sitting on his lap, then taking him to the VIP, but he said he had to go. 

Goto had given me $500 in 50’s. I closed my eyes and kissed it. I had shown gratitude to every dollar I made at this point--especially if I didn’t have to do much.

I took an uber back with Kari as usual, only it became more unbearable as she went on and on about Tomas. I think our uber driver tried playing some music, but her voice rode over that shit like an eighteen-wheeler. She continued talking as we walked to our apartment.

“Damn, that’s crazy,” I said, yawning, “but I’mma go to sleep though”

I went to my room and fell right out. I didn't want to think about Tomas or anybody. I drifted off.

⃝

In one of my latest nightmares, I thought about levitating, and I actually did it! I had a strange rush of happiness, even though a lot of the horrid circumstances still happened.

Shockingly, I’ve been getting a handle on my nightmares. It’s like I could actually start making decisions and moving on my own accord. I learned this was called ‘lucid dreaming’. I started thinking if I mastered this, these damn nightmares could go away.

Maybe.

⃝

I saw so much money on New Years Eve I swear I was almost getting bored of it. But I ain't trying to block my blessings. Kari came home with stacks of cash too. We’d laugh our asses off spreading our money on our beds laying up in it.

We usually spent New Years Eve together, but with everything going on, we had to grind.

I had celebrated the countdown sitting on some random dude’s lap. I walked back to the locker exhausted. Everybody wanted a real show. Dudes were straight up walking around with boners and shit.

I noticed I got texts from Kari.

Not coming home tonight. Followed with, oh btw TOMAS IS COMING HOME SOON

I stared at the text for a while, holding my breath.

I responded. I laid my legs on the bench, rubbing them. Girl when

A few minutes had passed as I waltzed back and forth between lockers. It looked like a dancer or maybe the house papi left some cupcakes, so I grabbed one.

My phone buzzed. Then I read In a couple of weeks

I swallowed my cupcake whole.

I could have a drink or two. Fuck it.

⃝

I put my money into my safe as soon as I got home. The rule was that we never went into each others’ rooms. I was willing to pay the extra money for that.

Then I heard my phone buzzing. I picked it up and saw the name Kane. With a damn heart emoji next to it.

“You wanna come back to my crib?” Kane said.

I remembered seeing those eyeball emojis on my Instagram pics. Kane was one of my American friends from Miami and a fellow stripper. I danced in Florida for a while when I took care of my mother when I met him. I had to name Kane from Love Dragon Kosugi-kun because I didn’t want to get them confused.

“Yeah.”

Clearly the tequila was hitting.