(Warning: Cringey Content, Possibly Cringey Conversation, Angst)

[He wraps his around around my neck and I jerk back but he’s surprisingly strong and I have to grab his hands from behind my neck to pull him off and break the kiss. He’s unconscious before he can face the consequences. ‘What the hell was that?!’ I think, dazed.]

I look back at Honey, ‘Did you see that?’ I ask. She huffs unhappily. I need to move her, I don’t want to think about what would happen if I tried to carry the merman past her. She probably has to go to the bathroom again. Grunting I get up, “Come on, Honey.” I say, taking her outside. After she’s done her business I lock her in my bedroom. Turning back to the merman, I open the door to the lab first, and then pick him up. He’s not that heavy but carrying someone while drunk was a very slow and bumpy process. ‘Sorry.’ I think when bumping his head against the door frame. But once I get into the lab I realize… ‘I can’t climb a freaking ladder like this!’ I lay him down on the cot instead,

“Let’s hope you don’t dry out before waking up.” I say out loud. I’m exhausted but I wanted to take some precautions just in case. I soak some special sponges in saltwater and place them on either side of his neck. I soak a blanket as well and drape it over him. He makes a moaning noise. ‘Hmm,’ I think. Turning I stumble to the lightswitch and turn it off. Should I sleep in my room or on the couch..? My body decides the floor. 

     Something touches my cheek. Cracking an eye open I see a mop of soaked hair, one of the clumps was currently resting on my cheek like a cheeky tentacle. I make a noise like a grunt but wince, ‘Oh yeah, I drank too much.’ Hungover I sit up groaning like a sea sick dog. 

“Are you okay?!” The merman yells in my face, sounding close to tears.

I put a finger to my lips, “I’m hung over, I need you to be very, very quiet.” He nods with large eyes and full pupils somehow growing even larger. I struggle to get up and gesture for him to follow. ‘I’m assuming he’s soaked because he took a dip in the tank.’ 

“Where are we going?” He whispers. 

“Kitchen, breakfast.” I respond briefly.

“But it’s still the middle of the night.” The merman whispers.

I look out the window and pause, “Breakfast.” I grunt starting forward again. He sits down at the table swinging his legs happily as I very tenderly pick out the pots and pans I’d need to cook with. I hear heart-wrenching whimpering after the clatter wakes up Honey. I hurry over to the door, “Hey baby.” I say as she practically knocks me over covering my face with kisses, “Yes I’ve been a bad daddy, I’ll give you a treat real soon okay why don’t you come with me?”

“Daddy?” The merman repeats with confusion. A jolt goes through me, I turn around, “Don’t…don’t say that.” 

He looks like he’s bursting with curiosity and soon after I get a flow of questions, “Why?” 

“Because it has different meanings.” 

“Are you the dog's father?” 

“No, it's a term of endearment meant only between a human and their pet animal.” I say sternly.

“What’s a pet?” The merman asks and clarifies, “Aren’t we both animals?” 

I hesitate, 'I mean, what was the point of trying to hide the truth from him, he was an adult,' “Okay, I’ll tell you why it’s wrong but you have to be mature about it and promise not to use it.” The merman leans forward with excitement. 

“When used between two humans that are similar age and not related…It’s a sexual term,” I sigh, “and not one I’ve ever been fond of.” To my surprise and…annoyance he looks disappointed. After a second he goes, “Wait…but?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore!” I exclaim and then grab my head wincing, “Just accept the explanation it’s not perfect but I’m hungover and need greasy food and a cup of coffee and I don’t feel like talking about…” I’m rambling, I always get like this. I try to compose myself and abruptly start cooking. Honey trots over to my side wagging her tail happily. I let myself smile down at her. The merman is completely silent as I make pancakes, eggs, and bacon, some of the bacon I give to Honey. When I turn around I see that he’s deflated. “Don’t pout.” I say whilst putting the plate in front of him… The sound of the coffee machine finishing filling it’s pot makes me go prepare two cups, suddenly something occurs to me, “Wait…didn’t you tell me you couldn’t eat mammals?” He looks surprised. “There was beef in the spaghetti and-”

“Oh,” he says catching on, “I can in this form, dunno why.” I blink very intrigued. How could such a small change make his ability to eat red meat change as well?’ I sit down offering him the cup I stop myself from thinking anymore, I need to eat. I shovel food into my face without a thought about how it makes me look. When I finally glance up the merman is watching, mouth open, flushed. “

What?” I say defensively, mouth full of food.

“Nothing,” he says, looking away. Honey boops me with her nose and I pet her, keeping an eye on the merman suspiciously, which reminds me.

I sip the coffee until my head stops throbbing, “Do you remember what you did last night?” I ask him and the merman chokes and doubles over half hiding, half clearing his airway. “You kissed me.” I say before he can recover. He looks everywhere but me and can’t seem to think of anything to say, only capable of opening and closing his mouth.

“Hmmm,” I say looking into my coffee cup, “From your reaction I’m assuming you did it in the spur of the moment, coaxed by the alcohol, remember, no matter how drunk you are you still have to ask for consent.”

He looks close to tears, “I’m sorry.” He says.

A little struck, I take a second to remember what I was going to say. Instead of teasing him I decide to let it go with a, “Remember to ask next time,” and then get up to add seconds to my plate.

The merman’s eyes widen like, ‘Next time?!’ But to my amusement he doesn’t say anything. 

He can’t eat, only watching as I calmly shove a mixture of pancake, egg, bacon, in my mouth all at once. Honey smugly places her head back on my leg. She looks from me to him. I pet her as I say, “Honey seems to have accepted your presence here,” no need to mention that she considers herself above him.

The merman shifts nervously, “She’s very possessive of you.”

“And protective.” I add not caring that it sounded like a vague threat, especially since he apparently had looser morals. I gesture to his food and coffee. “Don’t forget to eat.” He nods and starts nibbling on the food, he seems to like the coffee though because he focuses on it mostly. I sigh, I can tell he’s upset but there’s lots of reasons as to why he could be. ‘It would be too much of a pain to ask, I’ll just start talking about something…’ “So, are you gay?” I ask. He chokes again and I actually feel sorry about it this time.

“Uh…I like whoever.” He stumbles.

“Mmm, I’d prefer to live alone my whole life but unfortunately…” I stop when I realize what I was about to share. “I have work today!” I exclaim, I check the clock, I could use this as an out for this conversation. “I’ll get you set up but then I’ve got to go,” I say to him. He looks like he wants to say something but just lowers his eyes sadly and nods. I make sure he has food and a way in and out of the tank easily as well as some towels. “My phone number is on the fridge,”  I say as I grab my work case and freshly topped off coffee, “Use it if someone tries to break into the house, lock yourself in the lab, both doors are stronger than the front or the bedroom.” I remember that I never actually showed him the room that I’d be letting him stay in. ‘It’s fine, I'll do it when I get back.’

I pause remembering finally, why I was letting him stay in the first place. “Hey…” I say my tone of voice gets his attention immediately. “How are you feeling, you’ve been moving around a lot, are you in any pain? Have your wounds reopened?” He looks tired, sad, and miserable, maybe I should check just in case. I put my stuff down and he backs up. “Can I check your wounds?” I ask. He looks terrified all of the sudden. “Okay, okay.” I sooth hands out to console him, “I won’t touch you if you’re scared,” ‘I did throw him earlier, is that why he’s freaking out right now?’ “I’m going to give you some pain killer, take it if you start feeling bad okay?” He nods and follows me into the lab where I write him a quick note of instruction and put the pills on the paper. “Can you read this?” He edges forward and nods. I look at him for a long time and he just bites his lip looking away. “You’ll be fine as long as you take them,” I soothe. ‘Something’s off, I'll figure it out soon enough.’ “Goodbye, see you later.” I say watching his relieved expression, “feel free to roam the house just don’t let Honey out of my bedroom.” He nods and walks me to the door.

I hear him gasp in, “Be careful,” He frets, “Don’t go into the water so soon, not if you can help it, please!” I stand there for a long moment wondering if my manly pride is worth making him anxious all day, probably not, especially since he was a recovering patient.

“I won’t.” I promise. ‘It’s ridiculous for him to care about a random stranger so much, I never would.’ I walk to my car and look back, he’s hanging onto the door like it’s the only thing holding him up, and watching me leave like I’m about to die. “That’s not concerning. I mumble checking the backseats before turning on the vehicle. 

I get to work insanely early.