“I don’t understand why my instincts decided to take over. Sure I was overly anxious but that’s normal. Why in the clinic and not this morning?”

“The difference is that you were with a complete stranger in the clinic, but in the dorm, you are with me. Your omega doesn’t view me as a threat to you.”

“So what if my omega doesn’t think you’re a threat? I do! So why doesn’t it take over when I’m panicking because of you?” I blurted out.

I think my words caught Maelstrom off guard because he didn’t respond immediately. When he responded, I wasn’t sure if I had hurt him or not. “It’s normal for people to disagree with their instincts. Otherwise we wouldn’t have the issues we do when we lose complete control over them.”

“That was the first time I’ve ever lost complete control like that. It was scary. I wasn’t even sure what was happening.”

“I know the feeling, but luckily for you, it was a fear response and not a mating response.”

That’s when I remembered that Maelstrom had lost control over his alpha. I was curious what had happened, but I didn’t know if it was okay to pry into that bit of information.

I let my curiosity win. Even though he had mentioned how awful it felt, I wanted to know more. “What happened when your alpha took over?”

“Why do you want to know that?” He snarled.

I let out a whimper, “sorry.”

That was the end of our time on the drill field. After my whimper, Maelstrom stood up. “Let’s finish this tour.”

I could tell it was his way of saying “let’s get away from this topic.”

I don’t know when he took off his collar, but I watched as he put it back on and handed me the leash after attaching it to his collar. I grabbed it and held on tightly as he walked off. It was a nice walk, and Maelstrom took care to make sure I knew how to get to them and even walked the routes with me multiple times.

We ended our walk at the cafeteria and grabbed ourselves lunch before returning to the dorm. I was exhausted by the time we walked into our room. A lot had happened that day, and I could feel it finally taking its toll on me. With my belly full from lunch, and my body tired, I drifted into a nap.

When I woke from my nap, Maelstrom was watching something on the tv. He didn’t notice me waking up, and I sat there and finished the movie with him. It was a sappy romantic comedy which surprised me. He didn’t seem like the type of man who liked this kind of sappy crap.

While watching the movie, my mind wondered. It was understandable that Maelstrom didn’t want to talk about the time he lost to his alpha, but I wanted to know more. I needed to know how bad it was. I needed to prepare myself for what he was capable of. However, I was scared to bring it back up. What if he didn’t stop at a snarl this time?

With the movie over and despite my hesitations, I decided to reopen the sour conversation. I just really wanted to know what happened when Maelstrom lost to his alpha. I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, but I really wanted to know this part of his past. I wanted to know how bad it was and what the chances of it happening again were.

“Mal, I really want to know what happened.”

He turned to me with a glare. He instantly knew what I was referring to. “No you don’t. You’re already scared of me. Do you really think hearing about how I raped someone is going to make that any better?”

I shrunk  into my blanket before pushing the topic. “I don’t know. I just want to know and understand. How did you get to that point? Have you only lost control once? How bad was it? How many people did you hurt? What were the aftereffects? How did it affect you? I just want to know.”

There was pain and sorrow in his eyes as he looked at me. His ears hung as he took a deep breath. I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it, yet he was getting ready to satisfy my curiosity.

“It was four years ago back when I was still a freshman in high school. By this time, I was fully mature and had already gone through my first rut. I was never overly sexual and my drive wasn’t that high yet.”

He was stalling by giving me this information, but I was willing to let him stall as long as he wanted.

“I honestly never thought my alpha would be an issue because I satisfied my sexual needs when they appeared, but apparently that didn’t matter.

I was walking through a secluded part of a park when I saw another alpha giving an omega some trouble. I knew I shouldn’t have interfered, but the omega was releasing distress pheromones and my alpha wanted to help. So I confronted the alpha. He clearly didn’t like my interruption and the two of us quickly got into a fight. I wasn’t near as strong as I am today, but I still out-powered the other alpha.”

Maelstrom stopped and shook his head. I could see the tears threatening to come out of his eyes, but I wanted to know more.

He gave me an embarrassed look and let out a heavy sigh before continuing, “my alpha took pride in winning the fight. I had helped this omega, and now they were free from this alpha who had troubled them. I didn’t know it was coming, and it hit quickly. My alpha decided that it had won the omega as a prize. I tried to fight it off, but in the end I was no match for its desires. I lost control over my own body. No matter how hard I tried to stop, it was still moving on its own. It was like I was in the backseat where my alpha is supposed to stay. It took my personality and swapped places with me.” He paused for a moment then asked, “Do you really want to hear more of this?”

I thought about it. I knew what would be next, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear it or not. “I want to know, but don’t be graphic with it. Other than the obvious events, was the omega okay?”

Maelstrom shifted uncomfortably, “I took his body. My alpha relished in it and desired more. Although this wasn’t my first time having sex, it felt like it was. I was excited for more or rather my alpha was excited for more. I don’t remember how many times I took his body, but it wasn’t enough. Eventually, I left him to lay there in pursuit for more.

I went back to the main part of the park and found some new victims. Unfortunately, there weren’t any alphas around: just a bunch of omegas and betas. I don’t want to even think about how many of them I touched. To my relief, an alpha came into the park: most likely responding to the commotion.

Even though I was relieved by the presence of an alpha that could stop me, my alpha was less than pleased. Thankfully, the other alpha was able to beat the crap out of me and put an end to my instinct’s sex rampage.

It hurts to think about the harm I caused. After that day, less and less people talked to me. I had hit all of the local news channels, and this affected the way people saw me. It sucks. It’s not like I wanted to lose control of myself, yet I got treated like I did it on purpose. I was treated like a threat and outcasted by most. There were few people who understood that it was out of my control.”

He looked at me to gauge my reaction. I was expecting to hear how he abused others, but I wasn’t expecting to hear his excitement about being beat up by another alpha. I tried not to judge him, but a part of me was scared. I was already scared of him, but this story didn’t help.

“What happened to the people in the park?” I softly questioned.

“Majority of the people I attacked were betas, and most of the omegas I encountered either didn’t get pregnant or their mates aborted their child.”

When an omega is mated to an alpha, the alpha has the ability to abort any pregnancies that are not their own offspring. In rare cases, alphas can abort pregnancies regardless of whether or not they are mated. It was a good thing for mated omegas as pregnancies outside of their bond could destroy them mentally thanks to the chemicals that prevent them from wanting a relationship with anyone outside of their bond. In cases that mated omegas are no longer in contact with their mates and can’t have the pregnancy aborted, the child is often abandoned or neglected.

I shook my head thinking about this. It was crazy that anyone would want to abort a child, but sometimes it is the best option. Maelstrom had stopped talking as he watched me shake my head.

“Are you good?” He asked.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about how I would never want to abort a life.”

“You’re an unmated omega. It’s natural that you wouldn’t understand.”

“You said most of the omegas weren’t pregnant or aborted. What about the others? How many children do you have? Do you see them?”

“Only one of the omegas became pregnant and didn’t abort. The omega that I helped ended up becoming pregnant. I offered to help take care of the baby, but they didn’t want anything to do with me. Even though they rejected my offer to help, I begged them to let me be in the child’s life, but they refused. It hurts. I haven’t even seen my child, but I know I have one. I wanted to help, and I wanted to be in that child’s life.”

The room fell silent as he finished speaking. I could see the pain written all over his body. I could tell how sorry he was for hurting all those people, and I could tell how much he was hurt from that event.

It must have been painful to be treated like it was his fault that people were raped. Although it kind of was, it was not his true personality, but rather his instinct. People should know that when instincts take over, there is nothing that can be done to stop them other than to stop the person themselves. Even before I lost control of my omega, I knew that much and now that I had lost control, I knew for certain that once instincts take over there is no stopping them.

While thinking about this I realize that I am just a hypocrite because knowing this about him made me more fearful of him. I desired to trust him, yet I knew he had taken advantage of so many people.

Then to my surprise, I suddenly let that fear go. It was his instincts after all and not him that raped those people. It’s not always possible to win fights against one's instincts, and I needed to understand that, or I was no better than those who avoided Maelstrom. I needed to support him after hearing this. It was hard for him to tell me this, and I didn’t need to push him away after he opened up to me.