When he lied down, Tom was surprised by how comfortable the improvised bed was. The feeling wouldn’t last, but at least he wasn’t uncomfortable from the start.

The issue with a comfortable enough bed was that your brain wasn’t constantly triggered by that one issue and it left Tom room to think. And the last thing he wanted to do right now was think. Because then, he would be reminded of why he was burying himself in extra-curricular activities, making sure he was never home when his father wasn’t, avoiding the too silent house that reminded him every time that his mother wasn’t here anymore, that she left them, and that when Tom had asked her in a desperate attempt to make her cave if she didn’t love him enough to stay, she had replied that she loved herself more.

Because if Tom had faced any of that, he would also be reminded that while he was here, his father was alone is that empty house of despair and, without Tom, what did he have left?

Tom only knew too well the feelings that crept on you in that empty house.

You actually want people to like you.

That’s what Lizzy had said and Tom had hated it. That girl who didn’t really know him, who definitely didn’t like him, had no right to see through him like that. Of course, he wanted people to like him. Even if they didn’t really know him, even if they probably wouldn’t if they did, he desperately needed people to at least like the idea of him. As many people as possible. Because he had a feeling that it would take an incredible amount to make up for the fact that his mother did not.

And the fact that Lizzy didn’t seem to like him very much, that she could see through the façade he thought he had cleverly created, should not have mattered. And yet it did and that did put him on edge somehow.

Rehashing over Lizzy was petty, but that was so much more bearable than thinking about his father. Did he know that something happened to Tom and that he didn’t just leave him like that? That he wouldn’t do such a thing? That he would call if he could? That he would give anything to come back?

Would they even ever come back?

That’s when Tom lost his battle against the tears. By then, he knew that Maya and Jamie had cried, but he thought he was the only one of the older teens to have caved. It wasn’t the case, of course, but he wouldn’t find out until much later. That made him feel weak and ashamed.

Tom didn’t really know how much sleep he got that night. Probably not more than three hours all combined. He kept waking up whenever he heard a noise, when the hard floor finally made itself known, when the wind made him cold, and when the morning dew made him wonder if it had been raining.

If you had asked him then, he would have said – and he would have believed the words – that he was being cautious, looking after the group’s safety. The truth is that he was scared and that whatever might have actually happened that night, he wouldn’t have been able to do anything for anyone’s safety.

He woke up at dawn and decided to step out of the yard to look at the sunrise. Was that even East? It was all dependent on the rotation of whatever planet they were on, he was pretty sure, but… did it even matter?

Was it even another planet or was it another world? Another dimension? Again, did it even matter?

In spite of it all, they had to be grateful, he thought. They ended up somewhere that was clearly not home, but they could breathe the air, the temperature was mild, the day/night cycle seemed coherent, there was life…

Well… there were trees. Surely, that meant there would be water, right? But what about animals? They heard birds. If he listened now, he could hear birds. Had he seen one, though?

And what about ‘intelligent forms of life’? Were there people in this world? Aliens? Magic talking trees? Something?

And if there was… would it be a good thing to come across them?

Tom knew that humans were not always the kindest when it came to strangers. Would this world be any different? Could this word be any different?

He nearly jumped when something rustled next to him, but it was just Maya.

“Hey,” he told her as gently as he could. “Feeling any better?”

She shyly nodded and he added: “All you needed was a good night of sleep. Things are always better in the morning.” That was definitely a lie. Things are definitely not always better in the morning, he knew that for a fact, sometimes, days are just a succession of mornings that feel like despair that doesn’t get any lighter, but in this case, it felt true as he said it.

But Maya didn’t perk up. On the contrary, she seemed… agitated? Grumpy?

“Are you hungry?” he asked. Cookies and water weren’t the world’s best breakfast, but it would have to work for this morning. And then… then they would have to improvise. But she didn’t need to worry about that right now. Actually, if he could make it that she wouldn’t have to worry about anything until they found a solution, he would.

Same for Jamie. Same for everyone.

Actually, no. He would want Edwin to worry with him because something told him that his friend would be the one to find most of the solutions, so he needed to be in the loop. He wasn’t too concerned about John because he wasn’t sure that the boy cared enough about anything to actually worry. And Lizzy could fuck right off.

That left the little ones and Claire. But Claire seemed like the kind of person you would also want in the decision-making process. She seemed smart, optimistic, calm, and she definitely was the sportiest one in the group.

On the other hand, wasn’t it a bit patronizing to decide who should and shouldn’t know about their problems? Jamie and Maya weren’t kids per se, so if they wanted to get involved, it was their right. Plus, Jamie’s outdoor knowledge was the deepest so far.

And sure, they didn’t handle everything well last night, but Tom couldn’t brag about doing any better, really.

And he wasn’t doing much better now because he was completely taken aback when Maya said: “I need the toilet.”

Right. And offering her to pee against a tree was probably out of the question. Tom took back all his chivalrous thoughts from moments before and decided to wake Maya up. That’s the kind of things she could deal with…