"You're overthinking it, just let it out."

"I don't even know what that means!" I say in frustration.

"You already do it subconsciously, all I'm asking is for you to do it consciously," she says equally frustrated.

"I'm trying!" I close my eyes and try to project my energy, but it's not working.

She groans in annoyance.

"Well, I see you two made progress." Cyrene comes in, freshly showered and in different clothes than she was in before. But on the bright side, she does have food with her.

"Save me," Lorelei pouts.

Cyrene laughs.

"Can we just go back to the beginning?" I sigh.

Lorelei pretends like she wants to choke me before taking a break and going to grab the food. She pecks Cyrene on the lips before taking the drinks out of her hand.

I silently sit down and eye Cyrene.

"Okay," Lorelei says after a sip of soda. "Energy projection is the simplest most basic skill as it gets when it comes to being a Caster. As I said, you already do it subconsciously. Everyone does at first. That's how any Caster can sense you coming from miles away."

"Why do I need to know this?" I whine as I take my own drink.

"Okay, here's a true story I tell all my first-year students. My great grandfather went hiking and got lost in the mountains after an avalanche. Every half-hour he would project his energy for several minutes. It's how they found him before he froze to death. So yeah, this is something that can actually save your life." She explains.

I sigh.

"You're overthinking it," Cyrene says around a French fry.

"Thank you!" Lorelei says.

I frown at them.

"Energy projection is need-to-know. Because you are new at this, you are projecting your energy 24/7, which drains you a lot faster than it needs to. It's kind of similar to Energy masking, you said you wanted to learn energy masking, right?" Cyrene says.

I nod.

"This is the other side of that. Energy masking is completely hiding your energy, energy projection is the opposite. Once you understand energy projection you'll be able to lower your guard around other Casters and eventually learn how to mask your energy."

"Don't give her false hope. Her pea brain can't even grasp this simple concept." Lorelei grumbles.

I glare at her.

"Emery your energy is always running on high, we want to turn it down to moderate. Once you grasp what Energy Projection is, you'll be able to consciously stop doing it all the time. Then it will just come naturally." Cyrene shrugs.

"I already told her that," Lorelei says.

"Okay! I'll try again, geez. I get it, life-saving, energy-saving, time-saving, got it."

I get up and once again stand in the stance Lorelei had me stand in. Up straight, legs apart, arms out. Supposedly I have to feel the energy field around me, I'm already subconsciously doing it, I just need to feel the field, acknowledge it. That's step one, what we've been working on for the past hour.

"What took you so long?" I hear Lorelei whisper as I'm trying to concentrate.

"Oh, uh, I accidentally spilled something on myself and I had to take a quick shower. Jerk driving in front of me slammed on his breaks and I spilled my drink everywhere. Sorry. Then I had to go back to the store and get new food because the other food got all soggy. Anyway, my car probably smells like soda now." Cyrene rambles on.

Geez, she's just as bad of a liar as I am.

"Oh, well it sounds like you had quite the adventure," Lorelei says.

"You have no idea." Cyrene sighs.

You really don't.

Okay, focus Emery! Back on task.

Feel the energy, feel the field.

I've only gotten in close contact with my energy once and it scared me by shattering all the bulbs in the arena. So yeah... light energy and me, we have a complicated relationship. But I know it's there because it's always reacting to me. My energy causes the light energy to react, or so the books say.

I'm still not completely clear on this whole light energy is "alive" thing. Then again, after what Shamus showed me, is it really that far-fetched?

As if reacting to my train of thought, the lights in the room grow brighter.

"Uh, you're doing something," Cyrene says, interrupting my concentration.

"You're projecting out," Lorelei gets up off the floor and walks over to me. "Do you feel it?" she asks.

I scrunch my brows and focus harder.

The light is reaching out to me, if I project out and respond to it, it reacts. So I focus on connecting with the light. I push my energy and the lights get even brighter, I can hear the bulbs buzzing around me.

"Good, good, now turn it down. You got it." Lorelei says in excitement.

Now that I know the feeling, and what exactly I've been looking for, I can manipulate it. Turn it up, or in this case, turn it down. I take in a deep breath and suck the energy back in. The lights dim back to normal in response.

"Yes! There is hope yet." Lorelei says.

"Yay," Cyrene claps.

I open my eyes and let out the breath I was holding.

That was tougher than I thought it would be, the way they were describing it I thought it would be something easy that comes as second nature. It is not.

"Look at you, and it only took one hour," Lorelei aggressively slaps my back in pride.

"Is that a jab at me?" Cyrene raises an eyebrow.

"Face it, babe, I'm a way better teacher than you." She says.

"In my defense, that's literally your job. I am not a teacher, I'm a council member."

"I'm tired now," I pout and sit back down to eat.

"Good work, you're getting the hang of things," Cyrene says to me.

"Can I be done for the day now?" I beg.

"Fine, I think we've done all the damage we can do." Lorelei relents.

Good thing I changed into my gym clothes because I did end up working up a sweat. I take my food to go and go get changed again before speed walking back to my dorm before any other weird thing can happen to me.

I swear I have the worst of luck.

Luckily I make it back with no incident.

I start walking up the stairs to my room when I see Vega standing in the doorway of her room. Talking to someone. A someone who is fairly attractive, and of the female gender. 

My Emery senses are tingling.

I quickly make the detour and start to walk over there instead.

"Can we not do this again?" Vega says in annoyance to the girl once she sees me making a beeline to her room.

"So when would be a convenient time for you, should I pencil you in for never?" The girl snaps at her.

She's pretty average-looking, I guess. Light complexion, brunette hair, a little taller than me. She kind of reminds me of my old friend Beth, just a skinner, snootier version of her.

Vega clears her throat and the girl turns to face me.

I can see her face clearly then. Hazel eyes, button nose, small but full lips.

Instantly I feel her energy push against mine, on purpose, as if she was warning me to back off. I don't recognize what kind of energy this is, I've never felt it before. Plus she's not in uniform anymore, so I can't tell what type of Caster she is.

But lucky for me, I just learned how to project my own energy. And It has a fairly strong presence. So I push back, the lights flickering around me. Admittedly, nothing has brought me greater joy than intimidating someone with my presence alone. I feel like a total badass. Especially when she flinches at the push and backs up a few steps.

Who said magic doesn't have its perks?

Vega tries and fails to hide her smirk.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"Tsk," the girl glares at me before bumping shoulders with me as she walks off. "My how low your standards have fallen," she calls over her shoulder as she walks off.

I glare after her.

"I'd say it's an improvement!" Vega shouts back.

The girl flips her off.

"Who and what is that thing," I grumble.

She laughs.

I turn my glare on to her, which quickly shuts her up.

"Well?" I push, the lights flickering in response to my emotional spike.

"That parasite of a person is no one to me now," she pulls me into her arms.

"Now?" I narrow my eyes at her.

"That's her ex!" Dariyah calls behind her.

Vega turns and glares at Dariyah, who laughs at her misfortune.

"Ex? As in ex-girlfriend?" I ask.

"Yes, but it's over between us, swear. That girl is a total nightmare. I really don't know what I was thinking when I dated her."

"You and me both!" Dariyah calls again.

"I can do without the peanut gallery, thank you!" Vega calls to her.

I hear Dariyah snort in amusement.

"What did she want?" I ask.

"My soul," she jokes.

But I'm not laughing.

She clears her throat and tries again, "Nothing, it's nothing. Really, just her annoying me, as usual. I was supposed to go with her to this stupid winter ball thing, before we broke up we got the tickets. But now she has no one to go with and is trying to guilt me into fulfilling my original promise to her."

So this is a recent breakup. Very recent if they planned to go to some winter ball thing together. I got here in September, meaning they couldn't have broken up more than a week or two of me being here. Maybe they were even together after Vega, and I got together.

She must suspect my train of thought because she quickly says,

"I mean we've been broken up for months now, she needs to take the hint."

"Emm, well, I'm tired so I'm going to hit the hay." I pull out of her embrace and turn to go to my room.

"Hold on, let me get my stuff. I'll come with" she says.

"No, it's okay, I just want to get some rest. See you later." I call over my shoulder.

I hear Dariyah snort in amusement.

She didn't even tell me the girl's name, probably because she doesn't want me to go do some snooping on my own. Maybe she's a two-timer too, maybe she was with this other girl while she was entertaining a relationship with me. That makes me feel awful.

I unlock my room door and sigh, going to sit down.

Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore.

How many is plenty? She's been dating all these people, and I haven't dated anyone before her. And the only reason why we got together in the first place is that I saw us together in some vision and we feel a pull to each other. Not exactly what concrete relationships are made of.

My room door opens, and I look up to Vega who is looking at me with the most adorable sad puppy dog look on her face. I quickly look away. I don't know why, but I'm mad at her. Well, I kind of know why, it's like a bunch of reasons, but all together they don't really make sense.

I'm mad that someone like Lorelei saw Vega talking to her ex, earlier, and it was notable enough to tease me with. I'm mad that Cyrene and Asherah are cheating behind Lorelei's back, and that I know about it because now it makes me doubt every relationship I see, including my own. I'm mad that Vega hasn't opened up to me about her ex's before, and that her mom thinks I'm a joke because I don't really know Vega like I thought I did. But mostly I'm mad that everyone might be laughing at me behind my back because they all know something about Vega that I don't. I'm the one that looks like an idiot at the end of the day.

She walks in and shuts the door softly behind her before sitting down next to me.

"Emery," she tires.

"I thought it was implied that I want to be alone," I say.

"Why are you mad at me?" she asks.

"What is her name?" I turn to her.

"Her name?"

"Why haven't you told me her name, or about her before?" I ask.

"Because she's nothing, her name isn't important enough to mention."

"Nothing? She was enough of a something for you to lock lips with her and call her your girlfriend not too long ago. Doesn't sound like a "nothing" to me." I say.

"You don't talk about your ex's," she tries.

"Because I don't have any!" I shout.

Then I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment and I quickly turn away from her again.

"Wait, you've never dated anyone before? I mean I know you're a virgin, but I didn't think you never dated anyone before." She says.

"Oh my god, just go away." I cover my face in shame and embarrassment.

"Emery," she pulls my hands away.

"I don't know what I'm doing okay! I don't know anything about relationships or how they are supposed to work. My parents are divorced and not on speaking terms, my old high school crush lit a building on fire with me inside, and my mentor is cheating on her girlfriend! You and I, we both agreed this doesn't make sense. At all! So, sorry if I'm freaking out here because every example of a relationship I've seen has ended in disaster!"

She wipes the tears I didn't even know I shed.

"It's because I didn't want to overwhelm you that I didn't say anything before. I'm sorry for making you think you can't trust me. But look into my eyes," she grabs my chin and forces me to look. "You know you can trust me. What we have doesn't have to make sense to anyone else but us. We aren't like everyone else Emery, and you know it. You feel it. What we have is special. Different from what I've had with anyone before."

"It is?" I sniffle.

She smiles a sweet and comforting smile at me before leaning in and kissing me, soft and gentle. A warm reassuring kiss.

"You don't need to worry about any girl that came before you, because when I'm around you, I can't even remember their names. All I see is your light, all I feel is your warmth. You're all that matters to me now." She whispers against my lips.

I close my eyes and kiss her again, wrapping my arms around her neck. She pulls me into her embrace, knocking the bag of food to the floor to lay me down on the bed. She starts kissing me all over my neck and face, soft kisses.

"I may be your first girlfriend, but I will also be your last. You're mine now, I'm not letting you go for anything." She whispers in my ear.

I gasp as I feel her hand snake up my shirt.

I lean up and kiss her again, our lips crashing together over and over.

"I love you," she moans into my mouth.

Then she quickly pulls back, that look on her face again. That mysterious look that I can't quite decipher. Before she can take it back, I grab her face and look her in the eyes before saying,

"I love you too." And I feel the truth of that statement in my soul. I love this girl, and I don't know why, but I do.

I'm in this with her, deeply, fully committed to seeing this through till the end. Even if that end is in a burning building set to explode. Because, for some reason, I think she's worth it.