I led Connor out of the restaurant, my pinky gently wrapped around his. The brisk, night air met us at the door as I hastily pulled out my cigarettes and lighter. I placed a cigarette between my lips and mumbled, "Okay if I smoke before we get going?"

"I don't mind," he reassured. Connor stood next to me in the poorly lit parking lot while I puffed, hugging myself to minimize the cold. When he realized what I was doing, Connor slowly drifted closer to me and placed his arm lightly around my waist. His hand lowered slightly to my hip as he whispered, his hot breath tickling my ear, "Is this okay?"

I leaned into the embrace and lowered my voice to match his, "It's more than okay." I tilted my head and looked up at Connor, my amber eyes seeking connection with his icy blues. When the cherry of my cigarette began burning close to the filter, I stubbed it out and moved to toss it, pouting at the fact that I had to pull away from Connor's side. "I'm ready if you are, Mr. Wells."

We climbed back into the car, each of us taking a moment to relish the newfound warmth. My eyes quickly spotted the aux cable, so I picked it up without a second thought and plugged it into my phone. I scrolled through one of my playlists, searching for the right song, when it suddenly hit me. I made my selection and smiled with satisfaction when "Your Hand in Mine" by Explosions in the Sky began to play through the car's sound system. Perfect.

"This is lovely," Connor praised, his handsome features illuminated by the neon lighting pouring in from the city. I nodded as I set my phone on the console and went to place my hands in my lap. Before I could pull away, Connor reached toward me, sliding his surprisingly soft, thick fingers between my own. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, which I affectionately returned, as we rode together in comfortable silence.

I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going when I felt the car slowly begin to decelerate. The small SUV began to rock as we made our way over what felt like coarse gravel. When the car finally stopped, I shifted my gaze outside and began to survey our surroundings. Oh my god. Connor had driven us to a well-known lookout point over the city.

"Holy shit, Connor. This is absolutely amazing," I gushed, unable to take my eyes off the sprawling lightscape. "Thank you for bringing me here. Actually, thank you for everything tonight."

When I finally managed to pull my eyes away from the breathtaking view, I realized that Connor wasn't even looking at the city below--he was looking at me. His lips curved up into a small smile as he quietly responded, "Thank you for accompanying me."

Without thinking, I raised my free hand to Connor's face and began stroking the light stubble along his cheek with my thumb. This is...different. He leaned in slightly, narrowing the distance between us, when I finally reached my breaking point. I slipped my hand behind Connor's neck and pulled him into me, gently licking his bottom lip before sealing the kiss and closing the distance completely. Connor's tongue danced elegantly with mine as he released a soft, lustful moan into my mouth, sending shivers throughout my entire body. When I felt a warm hand cup my face, I slid my trembling fingers into Connor's hair, tugging slightly when I felt his breath hitch. Fuck, I thought, losing myself completely in the heated kiss.

"Hold on," Connor panted as he pulled away, his strong but gentle hand still cupping my cheek. "Bo, please believe me when I tell you that I want this--you--so fucking much, but I don't want to rush something that should be special. Not when you're still technically dating someone else."

"Shit, you're right," I conceded, trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable. I-I just really wanted to kiss you."

"You didn't make me feel uncomfortable, Bo. If you really want me to, I'll kiss you again right now. I just don't want you to regret this, you know? I want to do things the right way."

I paused for a moment, leaning back against the firm headrest to ground myself before agreeing, "Yeah, me too."

The ride back to my house was far too short. Connor pulled into my parents' driveway and shifted into park, leaving the engine running as he positioned himself closer to me. Without a word, he took off his glasses, setting them down safely on the illuminated dash, before placing his hands tenderly on either side of my face. "I know what I said, but just...just one more time," he whispered. I nodded, letting my eyelids fall as I felt his lips brush delicately against mine. Softly. Slowly. This kiss was different, but not in a bad way. It was chaste but meaningful, and I could feel his sincerity pouring into me. I forced myself to pull back, and when I opened my eyes, Connor was beaming at me.

"Ah, shit. I guess I should go," I muttered, lingering in the passenger seat. "Clif is coming over tomorrow after I meet with Addie, but I'll definitely text you to let you know how it went."

"Good luck, Bo," Connor grinned, his fingers grazing his swollen lips. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I smiled as I forced myself out of the car, looking back only to see Connor watching me, though I couldn't quite make out his expression. As I began walking toward the house, I hardly even noticed the icy wind stinging my face, the heat from our kiss still enveloping me. When I was safely inside, the harsh headlights streaming through the window began to fade as Connor pulled out and drove away. I shed my heavy coat and locked the front door, not even caring to see if my parents were still awake, before heading up the stairs to my room.

I can't believe that just fucking happened, I thought, flopping down on my mattress. Goddamn, Connor. So wait, am I gay now? Well, I guess the potential for gay has always been there, so this is just me realizing it, right? Or wait, could I be bi? I mean, Addie and I have sex sometimes and it's not like I can't get hard, but...but fuck, tonight was just...different. Ah, shit, I'm so confused. But maybe that doesn't matter? I mean, I really fucking like Connor, and Addie and I are breaking up tomorrow, so if I can just get through that things should start making sense.

Right?