In situations like this rational thought goes out of the window, actually all thought goes out of the window for me as my body goes into auto pilot, base reaction mode. In my case, I must see the danger to make sure it's real and not my brain being absolutly useless....which it normally is. I kind of wish I hadn't reacted, if I hadn't then the situation wouldn't have changed and even though this monstrosity had his hands on my hips at least that was all he was getting, a bit of unamused hip action. But now, now that I had turned around to see his chiseled jaw, thick dark hair and blue eyes which instead of looking at me were looking at my cleavage which was stuffed rather tightly into my little black dress. The regrets. Now to anyone looking in from the outside, I had definitly caught the attention of a fine specimen. Tall, muscular, those fine blue eyes. But to me, this man was a beast, a heinous monster for he was the sausage roll theif!
Well, to my credit at least I did try to make an escape, and I partially succeeded. I shoved my way out of his arms and stormed to the toilets, not looking back although I'm positive I could feel his appetite ruining gaze glide all over me. Clearly I am traumatised from this mornings catastophy as in my anger I may or may not have stormed into the wrong bathroom, as the sudden slam of the door opening may have shocked a few streams of piss into spinning from the original trajectory into my path. Thankfully the force behind such attacks was not too strong as the streams fell short of me but unfortuantly my shoes did become a casualty in such a hidious war crime. Damn, food theif is really trying to ruin my day, first the sausage roll, now my shoes! Is nothing safe?
I must have had the face of a smacked puppy rather than that of gruelling beast which was definitly where my anger was leading me as the culprit behind the stream quickly zipped up and came over to apologize, a little wobbly through slurred speech.
"Sorry babe, you just shocked me is all. 'Ere a little something for ya shoes." He mumbled into my ear as he pressed something into my hand before slipping out the door. I looked down into my open palm and stared at the small pink pill in the centre of my hand. I don't even know what it is. I'm alone at the club with the enemy aware of my presence. I'm in the mens bathroom. There is piss on my shoes. All valid points. All good reasons to go home. All forgotten as I lifted my hand up to my slightly parted lips.
I don't know why I do the things I do. It's like I'm taking a back seat and watching someone else drive this shitty peice of heavy machinery. I like the colours. The way everything is both fast and slow. It smells in here. I should leave. Door opens. Two steps. Freedom. Better, it's darker here but the colours are so bright and shiny, I like the laser lights they have, I can see them when my eyes are open and shut. It's so loud, why is the floor hitting me? Every few seconds it hits the bottom of my feet. Ow. Ow. Ow. Stop it. How to make it stop? I like the lights but not this weird beat.
"Hey hun, wanna go outside?" I looked up to where the voice came from. Blue eyes. I like them but I don't. I should leave. Outside. Outside is leaving. He grabbed my hand and started pulling. I wanted to fight but he was walking to the exit. Yes this is a good idea, exit is good, outside is good. He pulled my head towards his. Too tall, I don't like his eyes. Chest is a good place to look. Maybe the floor. Floor is normally good, right?
"You look so good in that dress..." Well yeah, that's why I bought it. Stupid.
"You dance so nicely, I love watching you move..." Creepy.
"I like holding you..." He's holding me? Oh yeah, his hands are on my waist. When did they get there? He seems kinda slimy. Like a snake. What's he thinking? Wait, maybe I know the answer to this. The lights behind my eyes know the answer to this. i'm sure of it, I just need to wait for them to tell me. To tell the heavy machinery driver what maneuvour to make.
"Let's get out of here." He's pulling my hand again. My body is still waiting on instructions from the lights. Resistance is futile.
Life is easy. I have a steady job, an active social life and decent money. I should be happy, but for some reason sleeping is hard. There is a darkness that keeps pulling at the light and it grows stronger every day.
Is fighting it even worth the sorrow it brings me? Or should I let my life unravel and see what happens when everything is laid bare before me? I'm a good girl...but then again, you don't know me.
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