Chapter Six – Something Wonderful

Maddox chewed on his gum mindlessly while letting his mind wander off. These days, he was off most of the time as he seemed incapable of getting that thing with Jonathan out of his head. He had turned into the equivalent of a socially inadequate porcupine, and people preferred to get out of his way, allowing him the needed berth for him to work out of his system whatever he needed to work out of his system.

The problem was he had no idea how to work it out. Well, rejection fucking stung, and since it was for the first time in his life he suffered it when it mattered, he felt utterly messed up. Each time he closed his eyes, he could only see Jonathan’s climax face turning into stone in the blink of an eye. Had he been, what? Disgusted? What of him could cause that kind of reaction in a person?

Was it weird that he didn’t know about it because he couldn’t see it, and other people didn’t care to tell him because they pitied him? Maddox had examined himself in the mirror in all possible ways and couldn’t see it if it killed him.

He barely registered as Kane plunked by his side on the sofa in the living room. Instead of offering a greeting, he barely let out a grunt.

Kane sighed and placed a hand on his knee. Oh, no, that had to be some kind of intervention. “Deedee,” his friend called softly, “what exactly is this girl doing to you to make you so messed up?”

And he had just pulled the ‘Deedee’ card on him, which was something Kane did only when he wanted to have heartfelt conversations. Because he’d had a girlfriend for three years, he was the only one in their group who seemed to have developed extra skills, all dealing with emotional stuff, which everyone hated when it was used on them but appreciated for being actually helpful.

“There’s no girl,” he mumbled.

“If there’s no girl, you’re really starting to scare me. Is someone in your family ill or something?”

He couldn’t lie about serious stuff like that. “It’s a girl,” he said reluctantly. He wasn’t yet at the point when he could admit to his friends that he was crushing on a dude.

“All right.” Kane exhaled. “So, you dig her, and she doesn’t dig you back?”

“Something like that,” Maddox mumbled and began munching on a hangnail.

Kane grabbed his arm and forced it down. “I’m not just going to tell you that you need to talk. I’m actually going to interrogate you.”

Ha! Like that would scare him. He looked down stubbornly.

“All right,” Kane said with a sigh, “let’s start. Was she, like, hands off, dude, from the start, or something?”

Maddox swung his head from one side to the other. “Not… really. We… well, touched each other and stuff.” Good thing he hadn’t just blurted out something insane like having had jerked off with the imaginary girl.

“Ah, so she must be at least a little into you. What makes you think she doesn’t like you?”

‘She’ had run away with Maddox’s cum on ‘her’ like there was a rocket in ‘her’ butt. But he couldn’t say that outright.

“She’s like distant and stuff,” Maddox replied.

“Is there something going on in her life right now? Maybe she doesn’t feel like hooking up is a good idea for her right now.”

“It’s more than hooking up,” Maddox replied in an irritated voice and then instantly wished that he could take the words back.

“Really?” Kane’s eyes lit up for a moment. “Since when?”

“Since it’s about her. I mean, I don’t know! Can we not have this conversation?” Maddox whined.

“No, we cannot not have this conversation,” Kane replied firmly. “So, it’s serious. Our little boy is finally growing up.”

“Shut up, lifer,” Maddox replied. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe if I hooked up with her, I’d be over it.”

Maybe.

Oh, what a big fat ‘maybe’. Would once be enough to check off the list all the things he wanted to do with Jonathan, to Jonathan, and around Jonathan? It would have to be a pretty long hookup, and it should happen without his dick falling off at the end from coming too many times.

“What if she’s not into hooking up?” Kane asked.

“She could be,” Maddox said with a shrug. 

“You don’t know a lot about this girl, do you?”

Through no fault of his own. He wanted to get to know Jonathan a great deal more, but who could hold down that guy for more than a couple of minutes which had been the most he had gotten when meeting him across the campus and exchanging no more than a few superficial lines?

“What if she’s not into boys?” Kane asked. “You know how long it took Louise’s sister to come out. It was hard for her, and she tried to deny her true self for a long time before she decided she was done with hiding.” 

Louise was Kane’s girlfriend, and her big sis had only last year come out to their parents. It had been quite difficult for her to admit it, especially to herself, as Kane had told them later.

“Oh, don’t worry, she’s into boys. She’s just not into me. There’s something wrong with me,” Maddox said the last words, and his mind went reeling. “It is something wrong with me,” he repeated.

“Hey, hey, slow down, what could be wrong with you? You’re a handsome mofo, you’re fun, and you clearly want her,” Kane offered his input right away.

“But I’m a player,” Maddox said like he finally saw the light. “She must think I’m a walking STD.”

“Wow, wow,” Kane began, clearly stunned by that evolution of their conversation. “You always use protection, right?”

“Of course I do, but she doesn’t know it. That’s it. This is what I have to do.”

“What exactly? Tell her that you’re a condom type of guy? I assume she is, too, if she has her head on her shoulders, so --”

“I’m going to get tested, and then I’m going to shove that thing right under his nose!” Maddox smacked his right palm with his left fist.

“His?” Kane asked.

“What?”

“You said ‘his nose’.”

“No, I didn’t,” Maddox denied.

Kane blinked a couple of times. “I either heard it wrong, or you’re more fucked up than I imagined. Which you clearly are. Well, get tested if that’s going to give you peace of mind. But, as a friend, I must tell you that the chances are that her reluctance to get with you might not have anything to do with it. The entire campus knows you’re the poster boy for safe sex. So, she must know it, too.”

Maddox stood abruptly, no longer hearing whatever Kane was blabbing about. 

“Are you going right now?”

“The sooner, the better.”

If Kane had other heartfelt things to say, Maddox would just listen to them another time. 

***