Warning: Please be informed that this chapter contains disturbing contents and traumatic events (such as sexual violence). Please skip this chapter if you feel uncomfortable. I'll provide a summary on the next chapter. 

“ Stop…”

“Please sto–”

“ Shh… Y–you, stay still, you can't tell anyone about this,”

“ Help–,”

“ Ah… I’m c*mming shut up!”

The heat of blazing sunlight awakened me from a nightmare. I could feel my heart pounding so fast. My breathing wasn’t normal. It was collaborating with the ache on my neck and shoulder. It was indeed heavy and suffocating. Gripping into my chest, I feel nothing but an unfamiliar anguish.

The terrible phantasm I had was the same nightmare that occured years ago. I couldn't tell if it was just a simple part of misery. 

A strange dream, filled with fear… if it's a memory, I am certain that it's not mine.

Fear… an emotion that I could never feel in real life. If I would be given a chance to talk to the Supreme Being, I would tell him to give me more nightmares so that I could see myself being frightened… even if it's just a dream.

But maybe I would try to beg him not to show me that nightmare again. It was a scene consisting of a boy and a woman. I couldn't see anything clearly. It was so clouded like a translucent jalousie window. The only thing I knew is that… the boy was screaming for help. 

Looking around, I see myself lying in my own bed. It was unusual… 

I can’t recall myself going home. The last memory I have is falling asleep on the campus' clinic.

Glancing at the mirror, I saw myself smiling. My brain was certain that I didn't put a grin on my face or maybe I unconsciously wore a smile?

Rubbing my eyes and looking back at the mirror… Now I see a deadpan face of mine. Maybe the smile was just an imagination?

The clock was ticking so I decided to look. 

11am

Glad it was Sunday-- no classes. 

I stood up and closed all the curtains. I prefer darkness rather than being hurt by the golden rays of the sun.

As my room began to be filled with its exclusive dimness, my phone suddenly rang. 

My eyes widened. I never shared my phone number with someone. I only use my phone for alarm, weather updates and academic purposes. 

Maybe it was a phone call from the campus? It's strange… Professor Shin's face unexpectedly appeared in my thoughts. It was silly of me thinking that he was the caller. 

Picking up my phone, I saw that the call was indeed from an unknown number. 

“ Hello, who are you?” Answering the phone call while wearing a normal tone of voice, I could hear someone breathing from the other line. However, I didn’t get any response. 

Maybe it was a prank call? Kids these days would snatch their mama's phone and try to contact random people. 

I started to wonder if those kids already heard the line "I wish I never gave birth to you," from their parents.

Waiting for a few seconds, the caller did not talk. I just decided to end the call. It was such a waste of time answering that call. What do I expect from human beings? They just do whatever they want in order to replace the feeling of being "empty".

Ah… emptiness, another emotion that I can never feel. Seriously, what’s wrong with me? It’s great that I could pretend. 

Taking off my clothes and deciding to take a bath, I, again, saw myself in the mirror wearing a smile. I stopped changing my clothes and stared at the mirror.

What’s happening to me? Am I hallucinating? 

This is the result of Professor Shin mentioning about me playing piano. Someone knowing about my past, I feel nothing but a great discomfort.

It felt like all of my plans had crumbled into pieces.

It's disgusting.

I hurried to the comfort room as I felt an urge again to vomit. I caught a glimpse of my own reflection on the reflective glass door of comfort room…

It was me again, smiling, like it was mocking me on every move that I carry out.

" Shut up!" 

My scream echoed to the comfort room as I saw a version of myself in the mirror… laughing and pointing its index finger towards me.