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Autistic Villainess

Watching life go by your eyes

Watching life go by your eyes

Jan 26, 2022

The room was quickly filled with the colour white, flying all around. I might have thought it was a beautiful sight, had I not been extremely angry at Ari. They looked at me with a rather defiant look, and I simply thought they were being childish, Spirit King or not. The other students were laughing, and Professor Brandt was flustered. Luckily the bell rang, and our first class at the Academy was finished.

It was a rather busy day, and I didn’t have much time to scold Ari or think about the Saintess. My mind was occupied with the courses I was taking, particularly sword training. We had about 4 hours of physical training everyday, and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up. Tsisana’s body, however, seemed to remember all the harsh training it had been through in the past, and the tasks weren’t as exhausting as I feared them to be. 

It was only late in the evening that I was able to rest. I was exhausted, and even the thought of talking to Ari made me anxious. However, I was simply one of those conversations you could not run away from.

I was already back at the dorm and had taken a shower. Nari was sleeping soundly, snoring without a care in the world. I went inside the bathroom so as not to wake her up.

‘What was that all about?’, I asked Ari, who had followed me inside.

They stared blankly at the wall before replying: ‘I am sorry’.

‘And what are you sorry about, exactly?’

‘About what I did earlier. I think being reborn has been more overwhelming than I initially thought so’.

There was a moment of silence between us.

‘When we were back on Earth, I could only watch from afar, if you were happy or made mistakes. Now I have a spiritual body but can materialise it when I feel like it. I guess I just feel alive again. Not that I was dead before, but I wasn’t really living either’.

‘And what does that have to do with the Student Council president?’

‘Well… his letter came with a very pleasing energy. That person seems to care about you, in a good and friendly way. I feel he wants to be friends. Honestly, I wish I could be friends with him myself. You are living just like Sena, watching your life go by your eyes, AGAIN. I feel you are apathetic about everything. It makes me sad’.

‘But I have to survive. When I first realised I was Tsisana, it was overwhelming, but I tried not thinking too deeply about it. If I did, I’d probably go crazy. Now that woman has taken notice of me and I don’t think she’ll leave me alone. Living apathetically seems to be the best way to live peacefully’.

‘She already put Tsisana in a prison cell in the novel, will you let her try to kill you too? You’re right, she has something on you, but we don’t know what’s her deal. Do you have to live like a dead person just because of it?’

A dead person…

Ari’s words really struck me. I thought about them for a very long time, even after our conversation was over. I was just trying to get by, living one day at a time. I was desperately trying not to die an early, unjust death.

What was I living for though? What was the point of staying alive if I did not get to enjoy my days as Tsisana?

I told myself I was going to enjoy my newfound status and wealth, lemon pie and all. But did that mean I had to live like a coward?


***


Ari’s POV

When I opened my eyes, I realised I was in an unfamiliar place. I felt energised and connected to all beings around me. It was as if I could feel the entire world through my skin, and I thought I was such a small being compared to what surrounded me.

I felt the wind  blow through my body, a soft breeze that was more comforting than anything else. The memories of this body’s previous owner started to flow inside my head, but I was able to process them rather quickly. It was because of their spiritual power, which was enormous. I looked around and saw the woman I loved. She was sleeping. For centuries and reincarnations I had followed her around, just looking from afar and helping whenever I could. Could it be different this time? I didn’t know, but kissed her forehead in a loving manner, as I had always done even if she couldn’t see me. Even if she couldn’t feel my love.

sildguimaraes
Ciuwia

Creator

Comments (3)

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Iris_Peony
Iris_Peony

Top comment

Awwwww, Ari. He loves her.

7

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Sena Young got her autism diagnosis at the age of 30, but was hit by a truck before she could take it all in. She wakes up in the body of Tsisana Zephyrine, a wind mage who is crazy about swords and about getting revenge for her parent's murder. But why go down the death road? Why worry about complicated things when she can have lemon pie every day?

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Cover art by Vivi len - @viiiilen (Instagram)
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Watching life go by your eyes

Watching life go by your eyes

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