Monday, February 10th

Sprawled out on his stomach, Eden rested his chin on the backs of his hands and stared at the printed photo laying on his pillow. Loose and messy light brown curls, just long enough to fall over into the face. Long, thick, angled eyebrows sitting on a wide forehead. A strong nose, the bridge high and the nostrils a bit small. Skin colored lips, the bottom thicker than the top, formed into the slightest smile. Barely sun-tanned skin and the hint of shadowy stubble on a chiseled jaw, all resting on a muscular neck and shoulders.

In actuality, it was an average appearance. Good-looking, but nothing far outside the ordinary. That wasn’t what had captured Eden’s attention. He was locked on the eyes – a muddled, mostly-brown hazel, small and higher set on the face, framed by the thick brows and long, dark lashes. They gazed out at him from the glossy paper and the feeling behind them was obvious.

Why hadn’t he ever seen it before? Why did he need this still image to see what others apparently already could? He had ignored the signs, making sure he kept their relationship superficial in his mind, when it should have been clear that it wasn’t. At least on one side, it hadn’t been for a while.

If Dean wasn’t so kind and gentle, if he didn’t have a childish innocence, if he didn’t have those small puppy dog eyes under those soft curls, if it didn’t make Eden feel guilty every time he said or thought something mean - if none of that was true, this would be easy. But part of him was attached. Not as a lover, or even really as a friend. It was an unfamiliar and indescribable feeling, and all he knew was that he didn’t want to hurt him.

This was supposed to be clean and simple. We agreed on clean and simple. Why did you have to like me and complicate this?

Eden had been looking at this photo for a week now and still couldn’t find any answers. He hadn’t seen Dean since that night, too afraid of exposing the truth. And no matter how long he stared or how many times he ran it through his head, he didn’t know how to feel about this. He didn’t like him, not that way, but could he? Dean was a sweet guy and would probably be a caring partner, but were they at all compatible? Did he even want to be involved in something like that, with anyone?

He groaned and flipped the photo over. He couldn’t think about it anymore, his mind just running in circles without coming to any useful conclusions. Plus, it was time for class, which was an entirely different problem. One problem at a time.

In a daze, Eden wandered into the small lecture hall, only registering the surrounding emptiness after sitting and pulling out his camera. Glancing at the clock, he realized he was over a half-hour early.

With a sigh, he scrolled through the random pictures he’d taken to pass the time. It was a bit depressing, looking at the few secret captures of strangers on campus, the many frames filled with Justin and Alex, then finally the handful of Dean in the moonlight of his apartment. It made it obvious how few friends, or even acquaintances, he had. Recent events and mood swings aside, he actually had an easy-going personality and a friendly nature. He had no difficulty finding partners for projects or classmates to eat with, but he never went further. Those relationships just seemed unnecessary.

“That’s quite the photo. The lighting is perfect.”

Eden jumped in his seat, too absorbed in his thoughts to hear anyone come in. “Shit.” The next second, he processed who that voice belonged to. “Shit.”

Turning to see Kell leaning comfortably on the desk behind him, the signature smile on his face easily pissing him off, he groaned low and set the camera down.

“I’m serious,” Kell said, the kindness laced with a genuine interest. “It fits the mood exactly and highlights the expression on his face. Was that intentional or luck?”

“Luck.”

Kell chuckled lightly, his smile a bit more curious. “Liar.”

Eden never should have come to class early. This wasn’t the first time they had run into each other without anyone around. In the past week, he’d seen the man ten times. In hallways, on the lawn and in the courtyard, picking up food, and at the café where he worked. If he was paranoid, he would think he was being stalked, but he knew it was just the universe fucking with him.

Every single time, without fail, he was greeted with the same smile, the same tone in his voice, and the same sparkle in his eye. That one initial moment of hesitation the first day of class had passed quickly and he was back to flirty and teasing. Each look and word was driving Eden mad.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

Pulled back to reality again, Eden turned to see a now blatant curiosity in those playful brown eyes. “What the fuck business is it of yours?”

“Are you always this sensitive?” The question was a taunt, Kell not actually offended by his reaction.

It was more than he could take. He didn’t want to give in, to let him win, but he hated feeling this way. Slamming a hand onto the desk, he shot up and leaned in close, so close they were sharing breath. Kell was beautiful, and it made him furious. He was genuinely kind and friendly to his students, and it made him anxious. He played with him, flirting but making no moves, and it was unbearably irritating. Most of all, Eden was easily pulled in and craved him like a fool, and it was agonizing.

Reaching up, he ran a hand through his hair, then used it to grip at the back of his neck.

“What do you want from me? Is this fun for you, playing like this? Because it’s driving me crazy.”

The words came out in a low growl, every one like a weight leaving him.

“Because I want to know the smell of your sweat, and have the taste of your tongue on mine. I want that faint mint in your breath heavy on my face. I want to know how your skin feels against my fingertips and how soft your lips are. What’s hiding under this shirt? Are you all muscle? Or do you have secret, delicate spots?”

His other hand traced the air down Kell’s side, lingering beside his belt for a split second before falling away.

“And down here... I want to know everything. Your shape, your size... Are you smooth or covered in that same dark hair? How do you react when someone touches you? Do you moan or grunt or cry? What does that sound like? I want to take in your heat and watch you move. And more than anything, I really want to know if you keep that fucking annoyingly gorgeous smile on your face when you come.”

Eden took a short breath in and saw the expression before him finally lose composure. At last, it was stunned and tense and confused. Every shred of his sanity was gone, but he never felt more relieved. “That’s what I want. Now, what the fuck do you want?”