He Jun can smile through the rain, but he must have already sent for an umbrella that is on its way. 

This is why when he settles down later on to read the script that Zhihan recommended, he sends him a message first. 

“Your handwriting is terrible.

Then he starts to read. 

The story is about a poor, delinquent, early twenty-something year old that steals someone’s bag off the train. A woman sees him, and since she is able to identify him reports this to the authorities. It eventually leads to a trail of disastrous events when the boy is found because it costs him and his family dearly. Because of this, he goes on a vendetta against the woman. His plan is to destroy every part of her life, only for him to see it all and realize that she is just as broken and pitiful as he is. He falls in love with her, but then her child dies and she shatters. The script tells the story of how he fixes himself till he becomes strong enough to pick her up too.

He Jun becomes so invested in the rawness of the emotions between these two people, that when Zhihan’s response comes in midway through his reading, he is unable to pull away from the script. Eventually, though, he spares the few seconds needed to take a look at it.

“Who are you? Xie Lian?”

The text is strange and vague, and He Jun cannot for the life of him decipher what it means. He doesn't currently have the interest to either, so he continues with the script, and by the time he is done, the sun has set.

He looks up from the shut document, stunned.

The story and its characters have taken a hold of his heart, and it is quite an exhilarating feeling. Immediately he calls Nini.

“Did you read the third script?” he asks the moment the call connects. He is pacing to and fro his living room, unable to remain still.

“What third script?" she asks. "What’s it called?”

He doesn’t remember so he hurries over to snatch it off the recliner.

“One of These Things.”

“I didn't,” she replies.“I just went through a quick summary, but now I can't remember what it was about."

He Jun inhales deeply as he considers what he is about to do. At his shuddering exhale, he makes up his mind. 

“I want the role. I want to be involved. Is it too late?”

She goes quiet and he can understand her. It has been way too long since he has even seriously considered any projects.

“Um…" she begins, and then an excited laugh bubbles out of her. “Um s-sure. I will.. I'll call the casting director. This was sent weeks ago so I doubt that it's still available but I'll try my best.”

“Alright, please do,” he says.

Just before he ends the call however, she asks again. “You’re serious right? You’re not going to change your mind?”

“I won’t," He Jun responds. "It's a great story.” He thinks of Zhihan. “I think I’ll enjoy it. I want to be a part of it.”

“Alright,” she says excitedly.

He Jun smiles, and it is only then that he feels the toll of remaining still and unfed for several hours. He heads over to the kitchen to warm up the breakfast that Zhihan got him earlier that morning, and when he sits by the counter afterwards, can't help thinking about the boy. So he pulls up Zhihan's message as he eats.

“Who are you? Xie Lian?”

He thinks again, but is unable to make any connections to the name so he texts Zhihan back.

“Who is Xie Lian?”

It is about five minutes later before Zhihan’s response comes in, and the moment the notification appears, He Jun feels his nerves begin to furl into little knots.

“Never mind,”  Zhihan’s response reads.

He Jun sets the phone down and continues eating so that he can be as clear-headed as possible in considering the direction he is to take things with Zhihan from now on.

Firstly, the kiss has to be addressed otherwise it will become the proverbial elephant in the room for all interactions between them in the future. But what exactly can he say to explain it away?

Zhihan I kissed you because I couldn’t control myself? Because recently and for some reason, you looking into my eyes drives me out of mind, and being in your presence makes me want to fuck you till we both can't walk?

But then ... I'm not to my knowledge gay so what is all of this about? And how long will it last? And where exactly can we take it? We can't even currently be seen together in public, or else the whole of China will explode! So ...

Where could any of this possibly go?

He begins to feel panic as the magnitude of his error begins to dawn on him. 

It doesn't matter that Zhihan was the first one to stir up a hornet's nest because he'd responded, and made the second move. No doubt this has now given Zhihan some sort of hope for them in a situation where He Jun sees none.

The last thing in the world he wants is to hurt Zhihan, but it now seems that this is inevitable.

He is so deep in thought that he is startled when his phone suddenly rings.

He looks down at the screen and sees that it is Nini calling.

“Hello?” he responds.

“Can you be in Beijing first thing tomorrow morning? They already concluded the auditions and chose the lead actor but it hasn’t been announced, so the director still wants to meet you.”

“Um... sure,” he says and looks around the apartment. He feels a bit nervous to face the world again, especially since he has been holed up in this cocoon for quite a while.

“Alright!” she says excitedly. “I’ll get you on the first flight out, or do you want to move tonight?”

He looks around the apartment again, takes a deep breath, and makes his decision

“Tonight is best. More obscurity and… I don’t want to give myself the time to change my mind.”

“Got it!” she says. “I'll send a car for you in two hours so please send the address, dear boss.”

Her tone is happy but frustrated, and a teeny bit resentful all at once.

He smiles, and finally relays it.

>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<

As per He Jun’s request, the audition is extremely private as he expends every effort in keeping the details of his movement well away from the public.

It is difficult and near impossible to do, but he is thankfully able to check into the designated five-star hotel room in the city’s main district without any fanfare. The following morning, the audition is held in the living room area of the suite, with all three of the show's directors- main, casting, and assistant- present.

He is a bit scruffy this morning by intent, in order to fit the delinquent persona. His chin is sporting a light shadow, his hair only barely finger-combed and his words, curt and distant. For this, he takes some mental cues from his beloved Zhihan when in the presence of strangers, and includes the coldness that has become quite characteristic of his gaze courtesy of all the grief he has received from the public for the year.

The scene he is told to act out is of when he meets the female lead all over again, after almost seven years have passed since they last met. 

It is at a bar and he is behind it... serving her, which is all well and good since the room they are currently in has exactly that. The casting director Yuan Mei is female, so she stands before the bar, and the scene is set. 

He Jun drowns out everything and everyone else... looks into her eyes and pictures Zhihan.

His heart starts to thump hard in his chest, and his blood simmers with longing. But there is also pain and uncertainty... and even fear.

She might not remember him from their past. And even if she does, she might not accept him in their present. He is better now, good enough by the world’s standards for her but how about her standards? What are they now, for a friend, and lover? Or has she perhaps closed herself up forever? He wouldn't blame her if this were the case, because she has been through hell and back and he has seen most of it, 

He thinks about the death of her child, and the loss that she endured so when he passes over her favorite drink to her, a sweet liquor in a long stem glass, his two fingers linger at the base.

“For you,” he says, and hears Yuan Mei's breathing hitch. 

It takes a few moments before she reaches for the glass. Her hand moves forward... towards the base... the tips of two fingers brushing slightly against his. 

They both go still.

Because now, they are both looking into the other's eyes, unable to say anything further.

His eyes mist and so do hers, and neither of them can put a stop to it.

“Cut!” the main director suddenly yells, and the moment is interrupted. 

They all burst into laughter.

“I have chills,” Yuan Mei shudders, hugging herself and to that, He Jun simply smiles.

“You have the role!” the main director declares, as he rises to head over to him.

He Jun is a bit taken aback by how immediate this is.

“You don’t have to further consider… “

"There's nothing else to consider," he says and grips He Jun’s hand in a handshake. 

“Welcome to the team, Qi Shen.”

He Jun is already so invested in the script that he doesn’t even startle at the mention of the new name. 

It will be the one he will play as for the next few months, and at the realization, the already lit fire inside of him burns just a bit brighter.

“Thank you,” he says, wrought with emotion, and the older man nods in understanding. Nothing else needs to be explained between them.

They soon take their leave, and Nini bursts into the room, He Jun's bodyguard and her assistant trailing behind.

“Congratulations,” she cries, and He Jun nods in response. He feels happy too, but not completely because he is yet to tell Zhihan.

For some reason, things don’t seem official unless he has told Zhihan. Perhaps it is because Zhihan was the one who suggested that he give his attention to the script?

He doesn’t want to speculate so he simply pulls out his phone to call him.

“What are you doing?” Nini asks. “You can't tell this to anyone yet. It has to be top secret until filming is almost done. You’re a quite sensitive topic in the country right now.”

He clicks his tongue at her. “Of course, I know that. I'm just telling Zhihan.”

“Who? Gao Zhihan?”

At her alarmed tone, he pauses just as the call is about to connect. “Yeah, Zhihan. What's the matter?”

She glances at the other two in the room, and then moves closer to him. Then she holds his arm and quietly says. “You especially cannot tell Zhihan.”

“Why?” He Jun asks, a frown between his brows.

“Before I called them yesterday, they had already settled on the lead actor, I told you this."

"You did."

"Well, the actor they chose is Gao Zhihan. They’re going to call him now and rescind their offer."

He Jun’s eyes remain on hers for a long time, but to say that he barely sees a thing is an understatement. 

Eventually, he returns the phone to his pocket and walks away.