Lorenzo knocked on the door before hearing his father’s allowance for him to enter. He opened the door into a rather spartan study. Few books, a writing desk, a desk, with a few armchairs for any guests whom he might invite to talk business. Or for Lorenzo, to talk about his future. 

The servant passed Lorenzo at the door, passing him the coffee. He closed the door, as he went to the armchair and pouring one each for his father. It used to be wine, but he had quit it. 

His father softened himself, relaxing right in his presence. “Tell me what you think about anything, the trip, or your discoveries.” 

The trip had been expensive, though so far, he seems satisfied with the results it yielded. It was never on a whim, for some fathers, a chance to send away troublesome sons and hope that the traveling life would teach them a thing or two. But for his father, Cosimo, it was always a calculated investment. 

“I’m upset that you called me back,” he said. “Especially so suddenly.” 

His father, despite all his appearances, cared about them. But he believed any ounce of emotion he showed as a lord it needed to remain behind closed doors and hidden away. There was a dignity to maintain, as his father liked to remain with him. 

They had to remain cool, as though they differed from them. 

“You did well with them. A good host, warm enough to ingratiate yourself but with an appropriate distance,” Cosimo told them. “It’s not an easy balance to strike. Too much and they will use you for their aims; too little, and they will see you as a leech seeking to take their labour and money, offering little in return.” 

He was glad, always never certain. Though his father was measuring him up to the standards of a future lord. And it was uncomfortable to him as he was always gazing and telling him. 

“Then what did you learn?” 

“Ideas about rationality, education, and I have ideas for reform.” He had wanted to say it. 

His father glanced at him, taking a moment. 

Lorenzo worried whether there was something wrong. 

He put it down, almost losing his sense of pride. “Things work fine as they always are, my son, and you do not change them. Look at the success of the Austrian Emperor. He’s young and thinks he can reform only to get shot down by his subjects because they will not stand for it.” 

“Even if it proves to be better?” Lorenzo had to argue a little. He couldn’t disagree. 

“How can you tell?” He asked. “If it goes wrong, they will come after your head. You do not understand statecraft or how mistakes are often fatal there. You cannot play with the lives of people to test out an idea. They’ll just see as acting upon your whims for no good reason. They know how kept them alive, which was how their parents did it, and their parents before them. When you ask them to take up something new, it becomes harder to expect what the result is.” 

“I don’t quite know, but these are sound ideas,” He said.  

“Ideas that are not done are uncertain,” he said, harshly. “They’re only thinkers, and they think the best of people and simplify concepts much like you do; they’re still looking for someone to use them in their work. But if you actually implement them, it’s rarely that simple.” 

He stopped, but he was right. 

“When I was young, I wanted to implement my own ideas. I’m glad someone explained to me why, and it was the same reason as I told you.” 

I would see him as foolish or arrogant, neither of which was good. 

“I understand that,” he said. “But I still want to.” 

“You can learn how and then make your own choices. I’m not telling you not to, but why you shouldn’t unless you’re certain,” he said. “Reform takes time because you can actually see whether the idea is good or bad. You can’t rush.” 

“Was it also why you wanted me to come back?” He asked, to teach him everything he knew. “I know you were ill, and that you recovered.” 

He sent his own expectations. 

“I worry, and I need you to know as much as I can. It’s a lifelong obligation,” he said. “You need to understand what it means to be a lord. As you stand, you’re not ready.” 

Lorenzo didn’t quite know how to meet his eyes, always finding himself wanting in his eyes. Philosophy, books, and letters were something that was clear to him. But not this.

“I will learn.” 

“I always thought that you would fight me to protect your ideals, but you can see a reason for yourself, and when something is impossible,” he said. “Paris has changed you, in a good way.” 

Perhaps he was glad that he did it. That was something that Lorenzo fought so hard for. He smiled, glad to see that an idea of his actually worked out well. 

He let out a relief. “Either way, this is only a small part. But I do not fault you because I never taught you. But that will change now.” 

He wasn’t the heir till the last few years, before he always dreamed of being a professor. 

“Did I disappoint you then when I didn’t make the trip back then?” He asked. It ate away at him a month ago, always as he thought. “I was getting ready to go back, but then you did not.” 

He didn’t quite know, not wishing to give up Paris. 

“Yes, and no,” he answered. “I am not disappointed. Maybe upset you put your ideas over them. But now, when it mattered, you returned.” 

“I was planning on leaving anyway, perhaps to a different place,” he said. 

“You’re here now, and that says more,” he said. 

His actions mattered far more than what he thought. 

“I’m glad that you finally put your family above your ideas,” he said. “For family is what you have when you fail. Ideals can always change, and they will change as you grow older, Lorenzo. No matter how much you want to remain constant, but times change, beliefs can shift. But family does not.” 

For they shared the same blood. 

“I know, but I don’t want to give it up.” 

“It’s not quite the same. I’m not asking you to lose it all. That’s a part of you, but you must choose and prioritize wisely. For they can ruin you, if you’re not careful.” His father warned.  

He knew why, the familiar words that marked his childhood came right into his mind. He let out a little in annoyance. “For family is bound to you, your reputation influences how they would see them. So your success is helping them too.” 

Cosimo gave a laugh. “You still remember that.” 

Though, it was said during brotherly conflict when he struggled to imagine just why someone would put family and duty above all. 

He couldn’t argue with that. He had to learn before he could suggest anything. But he would not give them up. Neither was his father asking him, either. “When do we need to go?” 

“It’s been a long journey, and I told you to return as soon as possible. Take a rest first, and then I’ll show you what you need to do as a lord.” His father held his shoulder, father and son being the same height/ 

There was nothing else, as his father departed and he watched. He rarely showed, but Lorenzo knew he feared his own death. And his brush with death. That had changed it. 

Cosimo focused on the estate and family, and he wanted Lorenzo to take charge; that frightened him a lot. His father, as it seemed, was preparing for the inevitability that he was gone. Except as a former soldier, he didn’t run away from problems. Instead, he faced them head on. 

He would yearn to travel, to know more, but he could not continue disappointing them. He felt so guilty, for he loved his parents so much. 

His mother came inside, the sound of her shoes making him aware. “I worry a great deal about him these days.” 

“I do too, Mama,” he said, glancing. 

“Was it hard?” She asked. “You know why he wants you here.” 

“I’m sure of that.” He looked at them. 

“His illness made him worried about what state this would be in if he didn’t tell you how to handle the matters of state.” 

“I thought that too.” 

“Was there anything else?” She asked with a smile, always knowing him. 

“I guess I do want to improve their lives. So many rulers choose to learn, and then implement the ideas of the greatest thinkers in their principles or to improve them. And how it’s never as simple as telling them why they should.” 

Her mither nodded. “People do not obey you just because they think you’re great. But they have to see the benefit of it to them, and how their lives would change. Persuade them, softly, if you force it upon them, they will hate you,” 

His mother was far more sympathetic, but above all, he did not feel burdened by her expectations. She counseled him with her view. 

“I need to know that,” he said. 

“That’s good.” she gave him an embrace, oftne bolstering his confidence.

“I should find Signor Baldoleto and see whether he's settled in.” Maybe he coudl also spend sometime talking about philosophy to him a little. 

“He got settled in, and it’s been a long journey from Paris.” Beatrice held his hand, she only came up to his shoulder with him. “Come, I’ll show you your room so that you can get some rest. It’s the same as when you left.” 

She was always caring, and made him feel right at home. 

“I was never gone for longer than six months, Mama." He laughed. Not quite sure just why it seemed so much longer.

“Felt like years to me,” she said. Of course, his missing presence was clear. 

She then brought him to the familiar place, and the door opened to his old room. It was good to be home.