TW: mental health topics, mention of self-harm!!
The rest of the went by quicker than expected and before I knew it, it was almost hitting midnight on the clock in the corner of my dark room. I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried, I just stared at the wall that Myles and my bed were against. I hadn't had the chance to talk to him after I left Stout's office. I wanna talk to him about what Stout said, but I just can't bring myself to do it, he doesn't need to hear it. It hurt me to hear it so it will definitely hurt him to listen to me recite it back to him. It's ripping at my insides, the words made me sick, it doesn't help they were triggering for me either. I struggled a lot with mental health when grace and my dad rejected me for liking dudes, dad was the worse he'd degrade me and make me feel like I'm nothing but another obstacle in his path to a perfect company name to give to his child and grandchildren.
I decided to message Myles, I had no idea whether he'd be awake or not but even just thinking he might be awake laying right there dividing me from him by a single wall, made me feel somewhat better than I did a second ago.
Luke: Myles, you awake? Sorry it's late.
I lay my phone face up in front of me so I can see if he replies, I face the wall thinking of how I just want to hug him and make this all go away.
It had been 2 minutes since I sent the message, he was probably asleep . I turn under my sheets to get comfy for a rough night, no sleep and second day of classes, sounds lovely. I shoot up when I hear something tapping at my door, it might be from the little plant blowing in the wind. I get up and lightly pull back my curtain to reveal a warmly dressed Myles in his black sweats, blue hoodie and beanie, his glasses were a little askew and it made him even more adorable.
"What are you doing? It's almost midnight!" I ask him as I pull on my own forest green hoodie. After asking the question I did feel kinda stupid because I was the one who messaged him first.
"You're the one who messaged me, remember? And besides, I couldn't sleep." He spoke softly digging his hands into his pockets with a shrug.
"Y-yeah true... True... D-do you wanna come in? It's kinda cold out here, come on." I hustle him through my doors trying to not let all the cold air in. Now he was here to talk to though my nerves were on edge, do I actually tell him about what Stout said? Do I just avoid the topic at all costs? What do I do?! Myles goes and sits down on my bed and grabs a random blanket that was sitting on top of my covers and wraps it around himself. He looked so snuggly and cute.
"Hey, come sit down. What's wrong? You don't look to well, do you need to go to the nurse's office? I can take you if you want." Myles smiled nervously at me when I took the spot next to him. He reached back and grabbed another blanket, he stood up and wrapped me in it, and gave me soothing strokes on my shoulder to help me warm up. I didn't notice how cold I actually was till he did it, must be the nerves. Myles sits down close to me and looks at me worriedly.
"Hey... what's wrong? Tell me... please? I'm here for you no matter what. What's put you off?" Myles soothing voice helps me calm down a little, I could feel one of his hands holding my shoulder through the blanket and he gave me a slight squeeze.
"I-it... it was... Stout. H-he said some r-really fucked up and shitty t-things... about you..." I try my best to not cry or sound to nervous, but I failed on the not sounding nervous part. The look in Myles eye was enough to break my heart in two.
"Do you wanna talk about it? I-I'm fine with it, I've dealt with it before. It's up to you" Myles then wrapped one arm around my back and held my forearm with the other, he was definitely better at the whole comforting thing.
"I-I don't want you to hear the thing he said, Myles... I can't- I..." I tried my best, but my body was shaking with the fear or Myles leaving after I told him and the memories that were brought back of the blood-stained sink and tiles in my bathroom after my father filled my head with bullshit about how disrespectful and disgusting, I was... at 15 years of age.
"It's ok. hey, hey, it's ok I am here. I know it's hard but please know I'm here, you can tell me anything, ok. I'm not here to judge you." Myles's voice was so gentle. He knew what I was going through except those words were spoken at him and not to another person like me. He let me wrap one of my arms around his back and lean into his shoulder for comfort. He draped another blanket over both of us and he sat quietly while I calmed down and rubbed my arm soothingly.
He's better than anyone here, even me.
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