With a final wave, we pulled down the street as I watched them disappear in the side view mirror. After about ten minutes dad said “you might as well try to get some sleep. We won't be there for another four hours.”
“Okay, I'll do that” I said checking my phone before settling in to sleep. I woke to the sound of a door closing when dad climbed back inside the SUV.
“Ah, sorry did I wake you kiddo? I didn't mean to, I just needed some caffeine. Go back to sleep, we've still got about an hour and a half to go” dad said as he started the SUV.
“Okay,” I said and closed my eyes again trying to sleep but images of Cam kept playing through my head as I recalled our conversation from earlier tonight. After a few minutes of trying, I resigned myself to looking out the window into the darkness and thinking about Cam for the rest of the drive.
As we pulled into the long driveway, I checked my phone again and realized I had no signal. “Great this is gonna suck,” I thought putting my phone back in my pocket.
“Oh right, there's no signal out here. Luckily your grandad has internet thought so your schooling won't be a problem. I believe he also has a car you can borrow to go to town since there's nothing within walking distance” dad said noticing my look of discontent. Finally pulling up to the house, I could see it was a nice looking two story house in the light of the headlights. As we got out of the Highlander, dad said “I'll stay here tonight and tomorrow we'll go see your grandad at the hospital. I'll make sure you have everything you'll need for the next few days before I go home tomorrow night.”
“Okay,” I said as I got my stuff out of the back of the SUV. Following dad into the house, I asked “does it matter which room I'm in?”
“I've already asked your grandad about that and he said no as long as it's not the one with all the family photos in it because that's his room” he answered turning on the lights before saying “oh and there is no wifi password since this is the only house for five miles.”
“Okay,” I said heading up the stairs. Choosing the room to the right at the top of the stairs, I put my bags down on the floor by the closet before getting out my laptop and setting it up on the desk. Once I was logged in and connected to the internet, I sent an instant message to Amy explaining that I had no service but I have access to the internet so that's how we'll have to communicate.
-Cams' Point of View-
Heading up the stairs, I entered my room and closed the door before sliding down it as happy tears and giggles erupted from me. After a few minutes, I realized I had no reason to be happy since we weren't dating and I still technically had a boyfriend that I wanted to give a chance. Calming myself, I pulled out my phone and checked for new messages. With no messages to answer, I got up off the floor and walked over to my desk. Glancing over, I saw Haydens’ light was still off. “Hmm I guess he's talking to his family” I thought placing my book bag on the desk before turning to change into shorts and a t-shirt for bed before returning to my desk to study. Standing in front of my desk again, I checked my phone once again and out of the corner of my eye noticed Haydens’ light click on. Not wanting to seem like I was waiting to see it, I put down my phone and began pulling my books out of my bag to start homework. Sitting at my desk, I organized my homework based on what was due first before glancing over at the window. Watching, I noticed that Amy was in Haydens’ room too and it looked like they were having an intense discussion. *beep, beep, beep* my phone alerted me to a new message pulling me away from the window. Checking, I noticed the new message was from Jon.
“Hey, did everything go okay at practice today?” the message said.
Deciding to reply, I wrote back “yeah, we both kicked the crap out of each other. I'm sure my ribs will be bruised tomorrow. We also talked on the way home.” Jon immediately wrote back “that's gonna suck but it's good you actually got to talk.”
“Yeah we just need a bit more time to figure things out” I wrote hoping Jon wouldn't ask exactly what we talked about.
“So what are you up too now?” Jon asked instead of asking what he really wanted to know. With a sigh of relief at not being interrogated, I answered “homework, or at least I'm trying too. I can't seem to focus. Maybe I need to go shower to clear my head.”
“Okay then I'll let you go. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night” Jon replied with a sad smile.
“Okay good night Jon” I answered and then put down my phone. Glancing over he realized Haydens’ light was off again. “I guess he went to sleep” I thought, Then with a sigh as I rubbed my face with both hands before getting up to go shower.
The next day, as I got ready for school I looked over at Haydens’ window. “Hmm he must've already left. That's odd. Unless he had morning swim practice...” I thought picking up my book bag and heading out of my room. As I left my house, I noticed Amy on her way out too.
“Hey Amy,” I said opening the front gate.
“Morning Cam, oh Hayden won't be in today. He woke up sick so I told him to go back to bed” Amy said still looking at her phone.
“Oookay...” I said knowing something wasn't right. As we exited the park, Amy started walking a little slower while typing furiously on her phone. As we got closer to the school, I met up with Jon and finished the walk there with him no longer paying attention to Amy.
“Hey, how's it going?” I asked as we walked through the front doors.
“Morning, it's going okay so far. How's it going for you so far?” Jon asked as we walked to our lockers.
“Okay I guess. Amy said Hayden won't be in. She said he apparently woke up sick this morning but something seems off about the way she said it. I can't seem to figure out what though” I said thoughtfully as we reached my locker.
“Maybe he's scared to face you after what happened yesterday” Jon said with a frown as he leaned against the locker to the right of mine. “Maybe but that doesn't feel right either. He did say that maybe we need some time apart to be sure of our feelings. So maybe he'll be out for a few days and then come back” I said thinking about what could be going on. A few days past before I would get something of an answer.
Sitting in homeroom waiting for class to start, I was gazing out the window when the bell rang. As the teacher entered, she said “Good morning class. Unfortunately, I have some upsetting news. Hayden Andrews will not be returning to our class for the remainder of the year.” Turning to look at me, Jon asked “did you know? Did he say anything to you?” As he looked at me, he realized he shouldn't have even asked because the answer was plain on my face. Hurt, betrayal, despair, anger, and sadness were all emotions I was sure were crossing my face before the tears began to fall. Reaching out, Jon lightly pushed my head towards the desk to help me hide. Realizing what Jon was trying to do, I folded my arms on the desk and laid my head upon them grateful Jon was there to help. The rest of the week passed and I couldn't bring myself to talk to Amy. As days turned into weeks with all attempts at messaging Hayden going unanswered, I went over to their house one Friday afternoon. Knocking, Amy answered the door saying “I should have expected this. Come on in and we can talk. I also have something to give you.” Stepping back, she let me enter into the foyer.
“Wait here for one second. Let me go talk to my instructor and I'll be right back” she said walking towards the living room.
“Okay,” I said as she disappeared through the door way. Re-entering the foyer a few minutes later, Amy looked at me no doubt seeing how pale I was from a lack of food and sleep and said “lets talk in Haydens’ room.” As we climbed the stairs, I started worrying more about what she was going to say. Opening the door, she gestured me inside and closed the door.
“Amy, what's going on? Where's Hayden?” I asked getting really worried.
“First off, let me just say he's fine. He's not in the hospital or anything. I also need to apologize when I told you he was sick I lied. He asked me not to tell you right away and then the teacher told your class before I had a chance. He regretted not being able to tell you himself there just wasn't time. The night you two talked, he came home to find out that he had to leave immediately as soon as he walked in the door. He wanted to talk to you so bad so I had him write you a letter” she explained moving towards Haydens’ desk. Opening the top drawer, she reached in and pulled out one of his journals slipping a piece of paper out from between the pages.
“He hid it here so our parents wouldn't find it before you had the chance to see it and asked me not to read it so I don't know the contents. I'll leave you alone for a few minutes, let me know if you have any more questions” Amys said handing me the note before leaving the room. I waited for another minute, listening to the sound of Amys' foot steps descending the stairs before I opened the letter. As I read, tears began to fall. The letter read:
“Cam,
I know you're probably upset and confused. I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person. I'm sorry I made Amy wait to tell you until you chose to find our for yourself. Tonight I was both over the moon happy and terrified. Happy that I finally had the courage to tell you how I feel and terrified because I don't ever want to lose you. When I got home tonight, I was told that my grandpa had fallen and would need someone to take care of him for a year so my parents decided to send me. I have no choice in this so please don't be mad. I only have enough time to pack before dad and I are leaving. I was going to call but when I look at you through the window, you look so focused on studying and I can't bring myself to interrupt. I know this sounds like excuses and I'm so very sorry. I'm so sorry you'll be alone, I promise I don't want to go but like I said I have no choice. Amy knows everything, I told her we talked and what we talked about. She supports us even if no one else does. If you need someone to lean on while I'm gone, lean on her. I want you to know that while I'm gone my feelings for you won't change however if yours should I will accept it but I sincerely hope they won’t. If you want to give you and Jonathan a chance while I'm gone, it’s fine. Please don't feel guilty though I do hope you'll wait for me. I love you Cam and I'll be back as fast as I can.
Hayden”
Amy gave Cam ten minutes to read the note and get his head wrapped around it. Walking back towards the stairs, she pulled out her phone and video chatted Hayden.
“Hey, sis what's up?” he said as her face came into view.
“Cam is upstairs in your room reading the note you left him. I want you to set your side to mute so he doesn't know and I'm gonna put my phone on the desk. I want you to hear what he says because you should see him. He's pale and looks like he hasn't been sleeping again” she said looking at her brother whose expression changed from neutral to pained.
“I'll wait for you to do it. Give me a thumbs up when its done” she said waiting. Once she had the signal, she dropped her hand to her side and climbed the stairs. As Cam sat there crying, Amy came back to check on him placing her phone on the desk with the mic aimed towards the bed.
“Hey, are you okay? Do you need a hug?” Amy asked kneeling in front of me. Nodding, I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and started to cry harder. Wrapping her arms around me and rubbing my back, she said “I promise everything is okay. Hayden loves you so much that he cried while we were packing his stuff.” After a minute, I cleared my throat and said into her shoulder “why won't he answer any of my texts? I miss him so much and I can't even talk to him.”
“That's because grandpa lives in the middle of nowhere and there is no cellphone reception. You can instant message or email him though because he does have internet” she said pulling back to look at me. After a minute, she asked “why do you look so pale? Did you think he abandoned you so you stopped eating? You look like you haven't slept much either.” Looking away, I answered “I didn't stop eating, I just don't eat as much as I used too and my insomnia has multiple triggers. But yes, at one point I did think he'd abandoned me after confessing. I thought he ran away.”
“He didn't run away, I promise. Though I don't think he went about this the right way. I also don't think you're dealing with this the right way either. You need to take care of yourself. What do you think Hayden would say if he could see you right now?” she asked with a serious expression.
“He'd probably say I looked like crap and try to stuff me full of food even though I really don't think I can eat right now. But he can't so there's no point asking what he'd say” I said with a small sad giggle.
“I'm sure, no actually I'm positive he's regretting his decision not to tell you sooner. I'm sure he's kicking himself so hard right now for making the person he loves worry so much about him that he all but stopped eating and sleeping.” she said. After giving me a minute to get myself together, Amy said “Cam, I'm sorry. I know I keep apologizing but this time I really am because this was my idea.” Then standing, she walked over to the desk and picked up her phone. Turning back towards me, she said “Okay, unmute the mic” before turning her phone screen to face me. Confused, I looked at the screen to see Haydens’ image displayed there. Looking at the screen, then at Amy, then back at the screen, I waited for something to happen. After a minute, I looked back at Amy when she said “Hayden heard everything you said after I walked in the room. He's been on video call with the mic muted. Little brother, do you see what you've done to the person you love the most? We should've told him sooner.” Looking back at the screen, I saw tears streaming down Haydens’ face seconds before he looked away. Angry, I looked away as I thought about leaving without saying anything but before I could I heard myself ask “why didn't you tell me? You should've called or texted. You should've messaged so I knew you were okay. I thought something bad happened to you, like you were in a coma or something. I was so scared.” Tears streaming down my face, I couldn't look at the twins I could only sit there trying and failing to hide how much pain I was in.
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