Jan 14, 5:14 PM
Hey, is my dog there?
Who is this?
Your neighbor. Neil.
I don't know a neighbor by that name. Are you sure this is the right number?
Room 104 right? i'm 103.
How did you get this number?
Our landlord duh. Lacy.
Stacy.
Ah, same thing. So is my dog there?
What are you talking about?
My dog. Black and white frenchie. Probably in your yard judging by the hole near my fence.
I wouldn't know.
Well could you check?
Firstly, I'm allergic to dogs. Second, I don't like going outside.
You just have to look out your window.
Why can't you just look over the fence?
And peep in your yard? Isn't that rude?
Plus, the fence is way too high.
It's rude to get a number from our landlord without permission.
Oh, come on. All it took was a little talking.
Did you flirt with our landlord to get my number?
Maybe?
What? How else was I supposed to get it so I could check on my dog? I didn't know who else to talk to to get my dog, what did you think I should've called the cops or firefighters?
Hello?
It's in my yard.
It's a guy. Winston is his name.
Well, he's in my yard.
Could you bring him to my front door?
I'm allergic.
I can pass you his leash. Just bring him around to the front.
No.
What do you want me to do, jump over a ten foot fence? I can't squeeze under the hole he's dug either.
Not my problem.
Well could I go through your house then? I'll grab him and be out of your hair.
Absolutely not.
Oh come on. Oh, I don't even know your name. But please, I just need my dog back.
Connor. I don't let people in my place I don't know. Besides I'm allergic. I can't have him in my house.
What are you, deathly allergic? I'll even buy some allergy meds if that's the case. Please?
Connor?
Connor, I beg of you, just give me my dog.
Connnooooor ☹️
Throw over his leash then.
OMG thanks. Be right there.
Jan 14, 5:42 PM
Connor? Did you get him?
I'm about to go in the backyard.
What took you so long?
I took an allergy pill.
Oh. Well let me know when you're in the front.
***
"Hey neighbor! I can hear you and Winston. How is he? Did he get any scratches from the fence?"
"He's fine."
"Did you get the leash on him?"
"Trying."
"He knows sit and down. Try that?"
"He keeps moving. Probably because he hears you."
"Oh, okay, I'll be quiet."
"He's on the leash—achoo!"
"Bless you. Your allergies already acting up?"
"Yes."
"He should be okay on the leash, just bring him to my door. Thanks again!"
Jan 4, 5:59 PM
He's outside.
Thanks, be right out.
Neil knocked on the door. Connor opened the door an inch.
"Connor?"
"Yes?"
"You didn't wait out here with him? What if he came off the leash?"
"He's still there, isn't he?"
"Well, yes. But it would be nice to say hi to your face."
"I got you your dog. You're welcome."
"Wait, Connor."
"What?"
"Thanks. I'll make sure to patch the hole in the yard later. And maybe pick up some allergy meds from the store for you."
"I have my own. Just don't let it happen again."
"Oh, okay. Thanks again, Connor. And sorry for—"
The door slammed shut.
"Well, alrighty then."
Jan 14, 9:38 PM
I really am sorry. How can I make it up to you? Cash? Do you have Venmo? PayPal? Maybe an e-gift card?
Stop having rowdy parties.
Rowdy?!
And what? I have parties maybe 4 times a month. It's not that crazy.
Eight times. I can hear you through the walls. And it runs until 3 am most of the time.
Well, that's what people our age do, connor. Throw parties.
Our age? Did you flirt that information out of our landlord too?
No, I just assume you're probably about my age. Mid twenties? Then again you don't even show me your face, so I wouldn't know. You're not an old man are you, connor?
Cuz it's fine if you are but then I'd feel sorrier for making you retrieve Winston.
Hmmm, keep it down next time. You're lucky no one's complained yet. It sounds like a college party.
And no, I'm not "old"
It's not that crazy of a party, I swear! It's like ten of us, with drinks and snacks. Maybe some video games or karaoke. We can't possibly be that loud.
My noise-cancelling headphones couldn't block it out. Be quieter.
Fine.
Jan 17, 9:49 PM
Okay, I'm sooooo sorry. I meant to patch the hole earlier but work caught up to me. If you let me I could just quickly walk through and get him.
Connor? Connnnooor, pls? I'm really sorry, and I promise I'll patch it right away. I'll buy some allergy meds or even food. Promise! I took my eyes off him for like a second.
This is the second time this week.
I'm busy. I have work.
At home?
Your lights are on.
I am at home.
I can just quickly grab him for you if you let me in.
No.
But Winston!
I thought I said to not let this happen again.
I know, and I'm very sorry. Alright? 🥺
And work this late? It's nearly 10 pm.
Freelance. Pass the leash over.
Oh okay. thankssss.
Neil knocked on the door.
"Well, it would be nice if we could meet face to face, instead of talking to a door like a crazy person. I'm sure our neighbors think I look like some crazy person."
"I don't like going outside."
"It's a hallway. Indoors too. But, whatever. Guess it's just one big mystery with you."
"I don't like showing my face."
"Oh, well, I get that. But it would be nice to know what my neighbor looks like right? I mean you could just put on a face mask if you wanted, and talk to me that way."
"No."
"Well, okay. Just a thought. Thanks anyway, Connor. And I really am sorry. I have no idea why my little Winnie likes to go into your yard. I give him everything he could ever ask for, I dunno why he prefers it here."
"Don't forget to patch the fence."
"I won't. And if you want me to bring food or medicine, I'd be glad to repay you that way."
"Hmm. Maybe stop having rowdy parties at night. Especially when I'm trying to work."
"I didn't think you could hear through the walls. I tried to keep it down last time."
"I can hear everything. Even your television."
"Oh. I'll try to turn it down then. What kind of freelance do you do?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Well, we're neighbors. Shouldn't we get to know each other? After all you know my dog and well, I do have your number."
"We're not friends, you don't need to know."
"What, is it illegal? Look, I get it, money is hard to come by and whatnot. But I just thought it would be nice to know. If it makes any difference, I work at the Vineyard restaurant downtown. If you really want some good food, I could bring some as payment."
"No."
"Okay then."
"I—I'm a writer. I write things."
"Oh, books? I love books."
"Hmm."
"What kind?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Alright. Well...good night, Connor."
"Night."
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