The music hall falls into silence as the last note fades out. Alexandra’s hands float down to rest on the keys. Months of practice and preparations had led to this moment and now it was finally done. The crowd bursts into applause. Where the performer would normally stand, smile and bow, Alex slowly rises, leaving the stage without so much as a glance at everyone cheering for her. But she’s not fleeing. It was discussed beforehand that she wouldn’t try to face the crowd, that being able to sit on the stage and perform would have been more than enough, and no one involved wanted to push her anxiety past it’s limits.
Safe behind the curtains, Alex releases a long-held breath. Excitement and adrenaline shaking her hands more than fear. She did it. A smile grows, splitting her cheeks as the realization settles over her. Her fears aren’t conquered, that wouldn’t be so easy. But today she’s done something she never thought she’d be able to do.
The area backstage is still crowed with other performers and a few of their parents already crept back to congratulate their students. Mr. Mewgain’s voice echoes in the hall, bringing an end to the recital. Her own parents will be sniffing around for her soon, so Alex sneaks away, hiding in a laundry room in the back. She’d already promised not to call again, but this really would be the last time. Now she could finally tell Sam that she would be alright without her. That Sam could do, or be, or go, wherever she needed. Without feeling she was leaving Alex behind.
She pulls her phone out of the pocket of her dress, fingers fumbling nervously as she powers it on. When she tries to enter the address book, the screen darkens and changes. She has an incoming call, from Sam?!
“Are you going to answer?”
Alex’s head snaps up, it may have been a while, but she knows her sisters voice anywhere.
Samantha stands, leaning in the doorway, her own phone pressed against her ear.
“Sam!” Alex starts, but Sam holds up a hand,
“Let me go first?” she asks with her signature smirk.
Alex nods, half dazed, her own phone vibrating as the call goes to voicemail.
Sam takes a deep breath, eyes falling shut just a moment as she gathers herself, “First,” She starts smiling apologetically at her little sister, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left without saying anything and that I haven’t been in touch, and that I’ve been a really rotten sister. None of that was fair to you. Second, you should know I’m not staying.”
“What?!” Alex almost shouts, surging a step closer.
“Hold up,” Sam interrupts, holding out a hand, “I rehearsed this speech, let me finish, maybe?”
Alex scowls but crosses her arms and taps a foot expectantly.
Sam looks her over, almost nervously before continuing, “I may not be saying, but I’m done staying away. The girl I’ve been rooming with, Jenny? well, part of the reason we went to Carolina was for a job, but the other part was so she could be closer to her family. They’ve been working on reconnecting, and while they still have some shit to work out, it’s been kinda eye opening for me? I’m really good at running from problems or fighting to avoid really dealing with anything. But it doesn’t always have to be so all or nothing. I don’t want to run from you and I’m tired of fighting Mom and Dad. So, I’m not coming back, but I am going to answer phone calls, or come for important events or maybe see my dorky sister play in front of an audience for the first time and literally be the best pianist in existence. Honestly, I’ll probably be around a lot because after that show talent scouts are going to be begging you to play and come to their colleges or orchestras or whatever it is piano people do, I really don’t know how any of this works?”
“You- you saw me play?” Alex asks, cutting her off.
“Yeah?”
Some of the tension in Alex’s shoulders starts to ease, “Do Mom and Dad know you’re here?”
“Someone had to tell me what night to come.” Sam says with a shrug.
“So,” Alex hesitates slightly, “you listened to some of my messages?”
“Every single one.” Sam says firmly, “I, uh, can’t really tell you how excited I’d be when I got off work or whatever and saw you’d called.”
“Why- why didn’t you ever answer?” The words quiet and vulnerable.
Sam rocks back with a groan, “Fuck, Alex, you’re like perfect! You’re sweet and smart and talented and everyone loves you and you look up to me like I’m amazing or some shit, but I’m really a giant messy screw up and I didn’t know how to talk to you anymore! How can I be your ‘cool big sister’ when I’m really just an angry, scaredy cat who excels at bailing on everyone!”
“But, you won’t anymore?”
“Never again.” She promises, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry, Alex. Can you forgive me?”
Tears roll over Alex’s cheeks as she surges forward, wrapping Sam in a hug. “Stupid sister.”
Sam chuckles softly as she returns the tight embrace, “Dorky kid.”
Later, after many more hugs and lots of tears, Alex looks down at her phone to see she has one unheard voicemail.
“You have one new voice message.”
“Playing first message, from October 20th, 2007, at 9:27 pm.”
“First, I’m sorry-”
“This message has been added to the archive. You have no new voice messages.”
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