I was listening to Riven tell me about his classes and trying to seem engaged.  We’d been dating a few months now and flirted over the phone, but sometimes I wished we lived closer so I could see him more, hold his hand, maybe kiss him and just hug him tightly.  I missed him.  I mean, yes, we talked pretty much every day, but I wanted to be there with him.

So that was distracting part of my mind, watching him animatedly discuss a computer class he was taking and how interesting it was – not my thing, but it was something he liked, and I liked getting to see him excited about stuff – and wishing I could be there in person, but that wasn’t the main thing that was bothering me.

Mostly, I was trying to hide how depressed I was feeling.  I’d returned to my regular school this year and I’d forgotten that it might not be a good idea to do so.  I was reminded, over and over again, that I wasn’t a regular fairy.

“Ren,” Riven suddenly paused, “what’s wrong?  You’ve been looking upset all evening, and while I appreciate that you’re trying to be interested in what I’m saying, it’s clear something’s up with you.  Now, confide in your boyfriend, please.”  He settled back in the comfy chair next to the begonia plant, watching me intently.  “Come on, you can tell me whatever it is.”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping a bit.  “You don’t need to hear it, it’s just going to make your day worse,” I muttered.

He raised one eyebrow.  “And that’s supposed to reassure me?  Ren, we’re best friends and boyfriends, and as either one I’d want to know what’s going on.  I don’t just want to be there for you when you’re happy, I want to be there for you when you need me.  This seems like the perfect time to lean on me, in my opinion.  I wish I was there in person to give you a hug but please, at least talk to me?”

I sighed again, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them, wishing I didn’t have to show Riven this side of me, but…he was right, he was my soulmate, my best friend, and my boyfriend.  He probably had the right to know.

“I’m a ‘late bloomer’ when it comes to magic,” I explained.  “My parents nearly didn’t have enough magic to make my flower bloom and I nearly died, but because of all that, it sort of messed up my magic flow, I guess?  I get magic several years after when most fairies get it.  Then I have all these cousins and they’re constantly talking about what they just learned and what they can do now and some of them are close to my age and I just…I mean, even some of them younger than me have more magic than I do!  Not to mention my dad is super powerful, and so is Mom, and Sorrel and Honey both have superior magic levels, and I’m just here struggling to do basic stuff.  Most fairies get their full magic by around 13 or 14 and, and – and I’m turning 14 in a few weeks and I still don’t have my full magic.  I’m probably closer to like an eight-year-old in magic abilities and it just – sucks.  Dad keeps telling me it’ll come, but I’m in almost 14 now and I just was hoping I could be more normal and not be so far behind.  I’m back in school with my cousins and everyone who expects me to live up to my family’s power levels and I’m just lagging behind and I’m so frustrated and…humiliated by it,” I whispered at the end, fighting back tears.

“Oh Ren,” Riven’s voice was soft and compassionate, and when I dared take a glance at my phone to look at him, he gave me the sweetest, most loving smile.  “Ren, you’re an amazing person and a wonderful brother and friend.  If your family and cousins and friends can’t see that just because of some stupid magic level, who cares?  You don’t have to have extra magic power – or even normal levels – to be an amazing person.  I certainly hope not, anyway, because I really have none.”  He gave me a wink, then turned more serious.  “If your dad says it’ll come, then he’s probably right, and, well, you know – you can’t really change anything about it.  Did you know Morgan’s magic was kind of the same?  They had really delayed magic, almost none, not even enough for real protection marks, but soon after they moved here, when they were about 27 – a lot older than you – they finally got their full magic.  But Morgan said they’d actually come to terms with not having very much magic because it was okay.  They could still stand up for what they believed in, could still do everything possible to protect their loved ones, could still contribute to society, could still be an amazing person even without magic.  They said they had a choice at one point to basically be miserable about their magic levels or just learn to be happy despite it.

“It’s really the same idea, Ren.  You can’t change when your magic arrives, it’ll come when it comes, and you’re such an amazing person even as you are now, I’d hate to see you not enjoying yourself and smiling just because of something outside of your control.  I love you, your family loves you, and we will even if you never get any more magic.  You can still be – you are – an amazing person regardless of your magic level, okay?”

I blinked back my tears, feeling a blush on my face.  “You really think so?  That it doesn’t matter?”

He shrugged.  “I mean, it doesn’t matter to me at all, so as far as I’m concerned, all I care about is that you’re happy and healthy and still love me.  I only care about it that it makes you unhappy without it, because I hate seeing you like this.”  He gave me a sympathetic look.  “I don’t want you to hurt over something you can’t even control, love.”

I blushed harder at that last word.  Riven had never called me by a pet name before, and that word had a lot of meaning to it.  “All the fairies around me are so powerful, it just makes me feel like a wimp.”

“You’re not a wimp,” he replied immediately, actually looking a tad upset.  “And if anyone dares say that to you, you can tell them from me that they’re not allowed to talk to you again until they apologize.  If anyone gives you a hard time about your magic, cousins or family or whoever – they need to apologize to you.  That’s not even something you can control and it doesn’t affect your value as a person!  If you’re struggling to see that on your own, then just trust me – I love who you are, and the only thing I want to change is to see you smiling.  Who you are is a kind person who cares about others and that is more important than stupid magic levels, understand?”

I nodded, touched by his anger on my behalf.  “Okay, I’ll – I’ll try.”

Riven melted back into a warm smile.  “That’s better then.  Do you want to talk to Morgan?  I bet they’d have good insight on the issue.”

“I think Dad has their number, I could ask.”

“I’ll just text it to you anyway,” Riven decided.  “That way if you don’t feel comfortable having your dad know why you want to talk to Morgan, you don’t have to explain.”

I was touched by his consideration and felt my heart warm.  I shouldn’t have worried so much about talking to him about this.  I felt better already, seeing his response and listening to what he said, and maybe – maybe he was right, maybe this really wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be.  Or at least, it didn’t need to be.  I could be happy as I was, right?  Just with him, even if I never got any more magic?

I was pretty sure that as long as I had Riven in my life, I’d be as happy as possible.

“I love you,” I burst out suddenly.  “I really, really, really love you.  Thank you for being there for me and listening.”

He bit his lip, trying to hide an embarrassed smile, but his eyes gave away his happiness.  “I’m glad I could help.  I love you too, Ren.  I’m really glad we’re together.”

I was thankful for that, too.  I was pretty sure both of us were better together than we were apart.  I hoped it would always be that way.

~~~~~

Riven paused as he observed me in the video call.  “Damn, Ren, you really are going through your growth spurt.”

I groaned and flopped into the window seat.  “Don’t remind me, my bones are all achy and I keep running into things.  Sorrel keeps laughing at me and Honey just pats my head and says I’ll survive.  Dad gave me some tea stuff to help but apparently I just have to wait for hormones to do their thing.”

Riven tried to look sympathetic, but failed.  He’d been through this himself, of course, though I’d noticed he’d grown some since moving in with his dad – the benefit of proper nutrition during growing years, probably.  But I was kind of hopeful that now that I was getting taller, maybe we’d actually be at the same height, at least.  Or close to it.

“I hate to say it, Ren, but I think most people do actually survive puberty.  Or, well, not hate to say it, but point is…yeah, I don’t think it’ll kill you.”

I scowled at him and then broke into a reluctant smile when he laughed at me.  “I feel like a scrawny tree at the moment,” I informed him.  “Sorrel suggested I start working out and building some upper body muscle to make up for it.”

“Oh, that,” Riven paused, “that wouldn’t be totally a terrible idea.”

I tilted my head as I observed him, noticing the faintest of tints on his face.  Riven was embarrassed about the idea.  How come?

“You like the idea of me working out?”  I asked.

The blush became slightly more pronounced.  “I just think you would look nice all filled out,” he responded defensively, not quite meeting my eyes.

Ah.  He liked the idea of me being muscular, was that it?  Well, if he liked it, I would definitely try to please him.

“Okay.”  I rested back against the pillows, biting my lip as I watched him try to bring himself to look at me again.  “So do you think you’ll visit this summer or should we go back to Willen Cove to see you?  I’m dying to get to kiss my boyfriend again.”

He still looked embarrassed, but he started smiling a bit and finally looked back at me.  “I need to talk to Dad about it, but Sterling wants to go on a trip with his parents for the entire summer, visiting some major sightseeing places, and I think Dad kind of wants to go along, so I’m not sure.”  He looked a little troubled.  “Uncle Bruce is doing somewhat better.  I think I can understand why Sterling wants to take a trip with his parents and make more memories.”

When confronted by Riven, Bruce had admitted he had a merfolk disease that was supposed to be treatable, but he was getting a little concerned that he wasn’t responding like he expected.  Riven, alarmed for his newfound family member, had practically demanded he go and see a doctor, which of course meant Gwen and Sterling had discovered what was going on – but thankfully the doctor realized Bruce’s disease was resistant to the medications and switched him immediately.  His recovery was slow since he’d been so far into the disease without the right treatment, but he was getting there.  By summer, his doctor estimated he’d be back to normal, so I also understood why Sterling wanted to celebrate his recovery with something extra special.

But that made me frown a bit.  “Do you think your dad will want both of you to go with him?”  That would mean I wouldn’t see him all summer, but…could I really be selfish like that?  It was time with his family, and they’d nearly lost Bruce, so that was a big deal.  “Do you want to go?”

Riven’s face was conflicted.  “Yes, on the one hand, because I want to spend time with my family, but I don’t like the idea of not getting to see you in person.  I…kind of want to kiss you, too,” he added, looking embarrassed again.

I couldn’t help but feel happy about that when a thought struck me and I sat upright.  “What if I got permission to come with you?  I’ve been having fun in that photography class at school and I could get to experiment more with pictures – you said it’s a sightseeing tour, basically?  Of beautiful places in the area?  It’d be great practice, I think!  And I could spend the summer with you and your family, get to know them better, which is important since I plan to be your family, too, so.”  I suddenly realized what I said and blushed deeply.

Riven, though, seemed intrigued and delighted with the idea.  “Do you think your parents would be okay with it?  It sounds awesome, I’d love to spend a summer with you!  And you can do some healing magic, right?  You could even help Uncle Bruce some if he gets tired.  It sounds great to me!  I’ll ask Dad, you ask your parents, okay?”

Which is how we ended up with plans to spend the entire summer together.  An entire summer with my boyfriend and his family, but hey, mostly with him.  I was really going to enjoy this.