You spend the rest of the afternoon in the balcony, next to Matt. 

He’s going to forget everything about you, and it makes you unbelievably sad, but at the same time, you can’t help but smile… all of this.

Who would have thought you'd have a whole month after death?

It feels like closure somehow. 

You’re feeling nostalgic, grateful. 

“Matt,” You whisper. He frowns at your gentle tone, your sad expression. He takes a moment to look back at you, eyes focused on the view. 

The sun is setting somewhere in the other direction, but it’s still a nice view.

“You okay?” 

“Matt… there’s just… one last thing,” You say. “It’s my last piece of the puzzle.”

you’re scaring me

He takes a moment to reply, eyes fixed on you. “What is it?” 

“Tell me how I died.”

You haven't even dared to come back to that topic.

It felt like it didn't matter at some point.

Maybe it doesn't even matter right now.

But everything will end soon, right?  

“You already…” 

“I know,” you say and he closes his mouth. “Please, Matt. Just… just tell me.” 

Matt takes a deep breath, sitting down on the floor to look at you, you don’t even know what to say, what to do. But if you don’t ask now, you feel like you’ll never know and… 

poor thing, such a tragic accident 

“Please,” You add when Matt doesn’t talk. 

He opens his mouth and you… 

and you fall apart.

***

“I got shot?!” You ask incredulously. “Who would even-Why?” 

Matt raises a hand, still forgetting he can’t actually touch you. 

“It was…” He starts. 

“Shot? For fuck’s sake, shot?” 

“Calm down,” He says, even though he knows well enough that it won’t work. "It was an accident, they were robbing one of the stores from the mall, and one of them escaped and he..."

That’s impossible. You’d remember getting shot, wouldn’t you? Besides, who would shoot you in Uni? It wasn’t a dangerous neighbourhood at all. You have never heard of anyone dying like that near the place. 

How unlikely could it be that’d end up being the first?

And what happened between you leaving the class and then getting fucking shot?

You don’t remember, you can’t remember.

What kind of sick game is this?

Wait a second. 

“Did… how did you know?” You ask, Matt, the conversation he had with Liz playing in your head. They sounded like they had talked to each other before. 

"I don't know if I should..."

“Matt,” you insist, when he doesn’t reply. 

He goes quiet, expression closed off. Regretting telling you, probably.

“What happened between Liz and you?” 

***

Coffee smell and scorching sun are the two things you remember the most about Uni mornings in November. 

The day you died, you were oozing happiness because you had just found out you passed a class. The smile didn’t leave your face for hours yesterday, and today you were so cheerful that you felt like nothing mattered. 

[Death’s a bastard]

“You won’t believe, what Carmen said-” You say, and can’t finish your sentence because you burst out laughing and so does Liz. You make it to the light and she pulls out her phone, still looking at you. 

“You didn’t even finish the joke, come on, you-” 

The sound comes rushing to your ears way too fast, feeling like a blast. 

You don’t even know where it comes from, even as you remember, you can’t place it.

It’s not like it matters anyway. 

You can’t hear a sound, but your eyes focus on Liz for a second and then there’s blinding pain on your side and-

Are you okay?

There’s wetness on your shirt and Mary’s hand on your lower back and then you’re on the floor. It looks slow to you, but everyone’s talking and surrounding you, and you know this is happening too fast for anyone to do something.

The ice from the coffee burns your hand and spills over the concrete. 

There’s screaming and running around you, but not them. Mary and Carmen and Liz are not moving.

You see their lips moving but you can’t hear any sound coming out of their mouths. Your eyes travel from all of their faces, watching them fondly. 

The last things you focus on are Liz’ eyes. 

Oh, Liz. 

i love you

Then it all comes down, pretty horrible and pretty fast. 

You cough off blood and close your eyes, the sounds don’t register anymore. No screaming. 

You don’t feel pain. 

You blink tiredly, everything going blurry. 

There’s a ghost touch you don’t recognise in your wound and then a bloody hand on your forehead and-

And blue eyes. 

[Familiar ones...

The connection takes a moment, but suddenly it makes all the sense.

...that's none other than Matt]

Then it all blacks out.