Read Living Unliving :: Chapter 13- A Narcissistic Loli

A loli-looking blonde girl with a military suit, black boots, and sunglasses is walking passionately along the street sidewalk.

She just arrived at the north side of the downtown street.

If to describe it furtherly, she arrived at where she is right now because "something" had happened to her that is likely the one and absolute reason why she ran towards the downtown.

The loli was breathing greatly because she had just run a marathon away from "there" to the place she is currently standing on, feeling exhausted or so.

But then, just a second from her intensive breathing, she started walking like it's normal in the first place.

I mean, walking is normal. But it certainly won't be the same case anymore when it's connected to a situation that greatly defied logical reasoning and physical settlements. So, what's happening?

"H-H-Hmm-H-Hmmm~~" the blondie was humming independently loud as she began moving her two feet while closing her eyes.

How could she show such a carefree enthusiasm? Like a warden showing her true colors in the middle of surveying a prison, why is she walking on the sidewalk thinking that she owns it?

What about the faces of the people? She thought.

"People, people, people. Aren't they all prisoners who can't see me as their warden?!"

Then how about eventually running into and come crashing and colliding into one of her "prisoners"? She wondered.

"Prisoners, prisoners, prisoners. Aren't they simply nothing in my eyes?!"

Or even the possibility of tripping because of an obstacle in the front? She imagined.

"Obstacles, obstacles, obstacles. I can't even feel them, right?!"

But she denied being careful about her surroundings nor everything reasonable and instead continued what she was doing.

So what exactly is happening to her? She pondered about this as well.

Suddenly, she stopped walking. While standing still she looked below her, bowing and staring at her black boots despite not even really focusing directly on them.

'Can't feel them... right?' she wondered to herself as her eyes were full of mixed emotions. "... Right?"

There's sadness, but there's happiness. There's fear, but there's calmness. Feelings of any kind keep diving and diving into her confused mind.

Yet she spoke again, "Can't feel them..." as her mind went blank.

But throughout all she's currently feeling, there's one thing that she truly realized since then.

After some seconds of bowing down full of emptiness in her mind she swiftly looks at the sky.

Like feeling the sensation of waterdrops from a dark chaotic rainy night, she raises her hand to the air like wanting to show her emotions fully.

Staring at the cloudless sky, she finally added one last judgment.

"... I'm dead."

But instead to feel empty about it, "I'm... really dead?" she still didn't fully accept it.

In her mind comes a clash of two contrasting emotions. The sacred sadness, and the holy happiness. So who will win? She thought of this as well while digging up some past events.

What does that mean? It means to vote. If ever she does not remember more sad despairing events than happy excitement-filled events, then she'll be happy that she's dead, contented from her life or so. But if she hasn't had enough, then she'll be sad about it.

Is it even reasonable to decide her emotion by that foolish yet somehow understandable thinking? Well, for her, it really is.

But then, after some seconds of standing still digging up her own brain, she finally realized that she hadn't even remembered any past events, because she easily forgets things.

"U-Uhm... Le-Let's decide it by something more reasonable," she said as she continues to walk.

Yet suddenly, a past situation where she tripped in front of many prisoners showed itself up again.

... And yes, after tripping, she died because she was accidentally stabbed greatly in the forehead by herself with a katana. So literally, that was her last situation before she died, which also happens to be "unrealistic".

So what is she feeling now? Closing her eyes, she shouted.

"YES!! I'M FUCKING DEAD!!"

Why is that so? Obviously, she doesn't want to go to that prison every single day again for being laughed at by all the prisoners. Not just prisoners, but even her colleagues as well.

So what is she in a prison? What is this great occupation that she had that had made her not want to look at anyone residing there? What about her friends? Her family? She won't even regret being happy that she's dead?

... She's the leader of all the wardens on the biggest and most advanced prison in the country.

Teardrops had fallen from her head, making it sound like she was finally free from her atonement.

"If there is god, then thank you very mwuch!!~~" she said happily in a cute way as she began walking while greatly swinging her hands, being filled with joy.

And that concludes that she really is not sad about it... Yes, she is, she really is very happy.

Everything had already left her in the first place. Her family may be a legacy of wardens and law protectors that are still living, but her parents had already left her. Most especially since her family is all about power, she as well focuses on power.

But what about her friends? Her supporters? Colleagues, or even "some" of the prisoners who wanted to stay in the prison even forever and ever as long as they can see her every day?

... She doesn't care any about it. She doesn't care about every single one of them now that she's dead.

Because in the first place, all she "was"... is a Narcissistic power-striving blonde loli warden-leader that likes to stomp everybody's heads.

And then it happened. It really happened. That one worst-case scenario that she really doesn't want to remember to the point that even if she'll come back alive on that single body, she'll want to kill herself again just for the sake of not wanting to look at them looking at her, is being remembered yet again just as she stated something out.

"Now that I don't have anything to do, I'll just be myself," she said. "But all I have is..."

She stood still again, lowering her head or so.

And there it is, the clash of two emotions happens once more time. It's the 5th time already.

But suddenly, when she thought about flying in the air because of wanting to eat some fluffy clouds to cure her complex incomprehensible moodswings, something magically happened.

*Fweush~~* "Wha-What the hell is happening to me?" She agitatedly wondered as she began floating in the air.

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*Urk!* "The" high school boy with black hair tripped forwardly on the street… unresponsively.

“Ugh, a passionless trip I see.”

He stood up, wiped some dirt on his black pants, and started walking again.

He’s apathetic.

Some people passing through him saw how he stumbled upon the ground.

They then thought about the reason for him to slip without even a single obstacle in his front.

But something feels off as they wonder.

Why is he not affected, rather, unemotional? It’s like nothing happened, as for what the boy’s eyes tell as they seemed.

A flat-chested short girl, rather, a loli-looking cutie, with long blonde hair, a military suit, and sunglasses, passes through the boy... carelessly.

The girl seems to be in a great mood, marching like a military commander with her hands at the back.

She looks at the boy as a transparent thing.

Looks? She hasn’t even realized that there are beings around her.

Smiling as she looks at her sides. Ignorant it seems.

She doesn’t care about her surroundings though, rather, to anyone, because she only fostered her existence. Like a narcissist, ignorant narcissist.

Why though? She always asked this to herself.

And she literally had an answer.

It’s not because she’s so prideful, not so selfish either.

But as for her state, it’s because no one knows about her being right there right now.

[HmHHmmHHmmm]

The girl was humming independently... loud.

Suddenly.

“Marching on the streets? Geez, she seems to be passionate about it though...”

The girl still continued to march, still with a smile on her face, not worrying about…

[Wait. Just now…]

Her eyes expanded as she took off her sunglasses, mouth as well.

She felt a sudden shock, more like a tremendous force that will change her entire state of living.

The girl heard it from her back. She realized that she had passed the person through.

The voice of a teenage boy.

As she then began to turn her head at her back just as the mixed feeling began to occur in her mind.

The feeling… a feeling of hope, or a feeling of fear

Because, if what she’s thinking is correct, it will shake reality.

While turning, she then began to wonder.

[‘Who on earth can see... the dead?’]

She now had a clear view at the back, where the voice seems to come from as she heard it.

But no teenage boy is there, rather, they are just random oldies.

By this, she became aware that there were ‘people’.

[... What the hell was that?]

Suddenly, she decided to float above the ground.

The girl is high up above, approximately on a second story of the building beside her.

*Fleuwsh~~*

She then began to fly forward towards the opposite way, back on the path she thought she had marched to.

Feeling uneasy, feeling lucky, feeling scared. Mixed feelings kept diving into her mind.

But for her heart. It’s beating fast, not just from the adrenaline, but because of…

“Hope. I can still feel alive!!”

And so she began searching.

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I literally had just said that part from the first episode of the Livestream. I mean it's just that the same thing happens yet again because it was just a recap or something like that...

So then, you wonder, my dear Vessels. Knowing about something in his future, do I really know everything that will happen from now on?

... No, I don't know everything. Even if spoiling it or not, I still don't know everything.

[ What? You mean, a god can't see everything about someone's future when this someone is in his wo- ]

Yes, Lord High Vessel Joyksyadcq. I meant what I said. Also, it's not just "someone", it's this boy with a name of "Valentin Nobez".

[ Really? Weirder than I thought it would b- ]

Mute~

... Well, who knows what will happen?

Either way let's get back, after going back to where she had first marched to, she eventually sees a certain boy walking along a pavement. She almost ignored the boy but then she sees a human and a puppy with white fires each on their head, walking beside the boy while they are taking glances at each other.

She pondered. 'Why are there white fires at their heads? It's even floating while burning.'

And then, after careful consideration, she put her own existence with a gamble by forcing herself to conclude that they are really dead.

Eventually. 'Wooh~~ Yes!! Can't wait to make him mine!!'

Realizing that because the boy is walking and talking with the dead, she then flew rapidly towards them, while being excited about it.