I hope one day, I can stop staring at Raine like an idiot when he sings. Even his speaking voice is melodic and whispery, like a lullaby or guided meditation. I watch his plump pink lips move as he tells me about the song and regret how much I freaked out last night. If given a chance to do that fruit string game again, I'd take it. Last night's dream flashes through my mind. His lips against mine. Our tongues intertwining.

"Are you even listening to me?"

I look at his eyes, blue contacts again today. The way his eyelashes fan out at the ends is so captivating. Even though he insists on wearing eyeliner, he's pretty without it. "Yeah," I say. "You had a softer feel for this song." I look at my lap. "I think if you tell me the thoughts and meaning behind the lyrics, I can better create music to match it."

Raine doesn't flinch. "You did it fine with Starlight."

He has a point. Still, I want to know more about him. There's nothing I can say back, though.

"Anyway, which pile should we place this in?"

I look at the piles in front of us: Work on Immediately, Work on Later, Doesn't Fit this Album's Theme/Maybe Use for Another Album. 

This would really be easier if I knew the meaning behind these lyrics. It's been effortless with the songs he has guitar accompaniment to, but for the ones that are just a singing melody or poems, it's significantly harder. 

"I'll put it in the Xen Can't Decide pile." He tosses it in the pile he's placed at his side. It's clearly his least favourite. 

Raine picks up his guitar to play the next song, lyrics propped on a stand. It's amazing that he can remember the different guitar accompaniments for all these songs without actual sheet music. In some places, he's drawn lines angled different ways to show where the pitch increases or underlined words that are sung longer. The only mark for the guitar is a diagram of what key it starts in. It's amazing that he learned guitar within only a few months with no formal guides or training. 

I recall the videos he uploaded on ?Tube when he was just 15. He wasn't the best guitarist but the way his beautiful fingers moved across the strings captured an audience. Then it wasn't long before he started singing along with the guitar. That's when his following really blew up. Years later, we saw his face for the first time. The video showed him from his knees to his head. He wore a mask over his face but even with half of it covered you could tell he was attractive. That was when the new fans, mostly focused on his looks, came in. And by then, his guitar skills and voice had only gotten better. 

Then, he disappeared for months. The next thing we knew, he was caught in a fan video filmed where he was performing live on stage in Light City with the new band Nebula. He was 18. And I had been enamoured with him the majority of my adolescence. 

I wanted to be up on a stage with him, not in a concert hall pounding out Chopin. I wanted to bow with him after a performance on stage, holding his hand, not holding a trophy and bouquet of roses after winning a violin competition. 

Glancing over at Raine, I notice that his jacket has slipped off his shoulder. Why does he always do that? It's way too sexy, the unblemished brown skin, its only uneven part being the birthmark. Ugh, I'm getting turned on. I pinch the shoulder of his jacket and lift it back up to cover him.

Raine halts in strumming the guitar and looks at me. My eyes dart in every direction until Raine looks back at his lyrics and starts strumming again.

We put it in the Work on Immediately pile, though, I don't know how much of my appreciation for the song was actually my appreciation for Raine's body. 

He starts singing the next song which has no guitar. If he's not going to tell me his thoughts behind the lyrics, we might as well just skip these until he does have some accompaniment. His posture is really bad, it is all the time, and reminds me of the times when my etiquette teacher would slap my back at the table if it wasn't straight as a ruler. 

Almost through the song, I realize the jacket has slipped off his shoulder again. I pull it back up because, in such close proximity, I seriously want to sink my teeth into and run my tongue over that spot every time I see it. Still singing, Raine shrugs his shoulder and the jacket falls off. 

Okay, that time he did on purpose. I have to hide my face in my hands to keep it together. 

Raine finishes the song. "What's your problem?" 

Moving my hands around my face to shield my view, I outright ask, "What's wrong with your shoulder?"

"It's a little narrow," Raine snaps.

Oh, shit, did I make him angry? I glance up to find him sneering. When our eyes meet, he looks away, rolling his. "Besides, these shoulders are going to sell albums."

If the fans are anything like me, that's definitely true. So he's aware of its appeal. 

"So, which pile?" 

"I'm not doing this anymore," I say, folding my arms. Better get into work mode before I lose my mind.

Raine's eyes cut into me like he can't believe I have the gall. "What?"

"How am I supposed to compose a sound for you without knowing the emotion behind it?" I gesture to the Maybe Later pile. "All these ones that don't have guitar to go with them are—" useless is a harsh word even if it's accurate, "not helpful at this point."

"...Fine," Raine grumbles. His teeth clench and he picks one of the papers up from the floor. In a quiet voice with all anger gone, he says, "This one was inspired by my mom. She works hard as a maid for a hotel in Shilla City. This is what I'd imagine she'd say to the Shillans if she wasn't so soft-hearted." 

I look at the lyrics: 

You call me qiq but I'm drowning in your qiq.

Gasping for air as your filth fills my mouth.

I'll spit it back at you once I escape.  

I'll inhale the light I deserve for my own sake.