Eyes soaking in the room, I shook my head rapidly at the growing horror that was beginning to consume me. Air painfully sawed its way through my lungs as my mind tangled in its attempt to deny my reality. This couldn’t be happening. I had to be dead, yeah. That was it, she killed me. She didn’t send me here. Please tell me she didn’t send me here. The tips of my nails broke against the rough concrete walls I was desperately scratching at, until I finally looked down at my tingling wrists. Eyes wide, I raised my iron bound wrists and forced out a hysterical laugh. Oh, this was just perfect. Fucking perfect.
Yanking my hands apart, I frantically tried breaking the chains even though the small part of sanity in the back of my mind told me it was futile. Rushing over to the bed, I slammed the chain against the low wooden railing repeatedly. Once bound in iron, Fae were practically human. Something about the metal made our magic seek out shelter inside our souls where we couldn’t reach it. Come on. Come on. The pain shooting through my chest barely registered as I dropped to the floor and planted a foot against the chain. Once it was clear that that wasn’t going to work, I got to my knees and started clawing at the cuffs. Sharp broken nails dug into my skin at odd angles, shredding it in my effort to uncuff myself.
Fingers slick with blood from the deep scratches covering a good portion of my wrists, I ripped my hands as far apart as the cuffs would allow. Squeezing them tightly into fists, I yanked them apart and slammed them against the hard ground with an enraged scream. I wasn’t supposed to be here again! It was supposed to be death or victory, not a cell! Never a cell, not ever again. With my mind running a mile a minute, I hammered my fists against the floor with another wild scream that ended on a laugh. My eyes flicked over the floor rapidly in time with my thoughts as everything inside of me felt like it was short circuiting. I was going to torture that bitch when I got out. She was the reason I was here again. She was the reason. She was the reason. She was the- NO. He was the reason. I should be dead but he suggested somewhere much worse than death. Much, much worse.
Scrambling to my feet, I shoved my long locks out of the way and really looked around the small cell. My laughter came out in disbelieving bouts, the layout was the same as the one from my childhood. Like I had never left. But I did. I did leave. A very long long time ago. If she thought she could treat me like the same misbehaving child I used to be, she was in for a very bloody awakening. Fury raced through me as my gaze caught on a metallic flash that winked in the shadows between the viewing bars around the very top of my cell. She was watching me. That fucking cunt was watching me.
Lips curling into a vicious snarl, I spun and locked my hands around the foot board. With a harsh tug, I slung the bed into the middle of the room with a screech of wood and climbed on top to look up into the shadows where I’d seen the flash of life.
“Enjoying the show, Mab?” I shouted at the bars, eyeing the darkness between them. On a passing thought, I purred, “Is Cillian here with you?”
A whisper of shifting cloth greeted my ears.
Grinning, I clapped my hands in a slow applause, “Have to give it to you, setting it up like my old cell was a nice touch. A for effort.”
The only response I received was the unwavering stillness of the shadows.
“But we all know you can’t keep me here.” I laughed out, raising my bloody hands to point at where I’d seen the metallic flash between the bars. “You should’ve driven that iron stake through my heart when you had the chance because when I get out, and I will. I’m not going to stop until I have your blood coating my skin and Mab’s head on an iron spike for all to see.” Scanning the darkness, I hissed, “You shouldn’t have fucked with me, Mab. You should’ve just left my people and me alone. You should have just left me alone! But you couldn’t help yourself, could you! I’m going to kill you, Mab! Do you hear me, bitch? And nobody, not even the great Cillian Grymes, will be able to stop me this time!”
Laughing, I flashed a big smile before screaming, “You and your little pet better start running, Mab! Because when I get out, I’m going to start a war the size of which Tir Na Nog has never seen! I’ll burn the whole fucking realm just to get my hands around your throat! Mark my words, Mab! You can’t keep me here forever!”
Footsteps clipped over concrete followed by the sound of a door creaking open.
Furious, I curled my fingers into my palms and screamed at the top of my lungs,“YOU CAN’T KEEP ME HERE FOREVER!”
Jerking up onto my elbows, I choked back a scream of psychotic rage before it could escape my throat. Panting, I blinked rapidly forcing my surroundings to take shape in order to calm my racing heart. Wooden walls were the first to come into focus due to the soft moonlight coming through the window. Gripping the thin sheets between my fists, I released a heavy sigh and flopped back down onto my back. You’re in the tavern. You are not in a cell. This isn’t a cell. There’s a wooden door with metal latches to the left and a breakable window to the right. You can easily get out. This is not a cell. You are not trapped.
Taking deep even breaths, my heart rate slowed dramatically until it no longer felt like my chest was trying to break apart. A wary smile tipped my lips as glimpses of the nightmare flashed through my minds eye. Bold words screamed with a rage and promise that had seemed so….so factual at the time. Like I had been screaming events that had already been written in stone to the darkness. Even a month ago, when I had escaped Slykhelm and declared war with a stab to Cillian’s shoulder. It had seemed like everything I wanted was within reach. I would rally my army and go to war against Mab one final time. One more glorious time that would rock the very foundation of Tir Na Nog.
Only to come home to an abandoned metal castle with Mab’s soldiers crawling over it like flies on shit. Hidden in the trees just beyond their line of sight, I watched as they searched every inch of my- the land presumably for my presence. Listened as they laughed over jokes about how my people hadn’t even waited a century before abandoning the castle. How some had even joined Mab’s Kingdom with words of gratefulness for ending my tyrannical reign. Those remembered words brought a pulse of anger sparking to life inside my chest. My tyrannical reign. I did everything to help them, I brought down our enemies in the Outerlands quickly and efficiently. I made sure that they had clothes and food plus whatever else they could possibly want. I gave them everything I could to make sure they wouldn’t suffer anymore. I wasn’t cruel. I wasn’t cold. I wasn’t Mab. Yet it was my reign that was tyrannical.
Turning onto my side, I tugged a pillow to my chest and stared out at the city beyond the foggy window pane. I knew I shouldn’t take what the soldiers had said as fact, but for it to be the first thing I’ve heard about my people in over seven hundred years? That after trying to save them, they willingly handed themselves over to her. It made me want to hunt down the people I had cared for, the people I had fought for, and show them what real tyranny looked like. But again the words of Mab’s soldiers weren’t to be trusted, though I knew deep down that they were right. While I had given them everything I could, I also remembered how I’d made my word law. I never bent. Punishment was harsh and swift. Questions about myself went unanswered and concerns from my court were ignored. In many ways, I wasn’t Mab but I was still her daughter and that became obvious the more I looked over my past.
Rolling onto my back, I groaned out loud in annoyance at my inner thoughts. I wasn’t the type to agonize over the past but that’s all I had been doing over the past week as I waited for Dani’s arrival. I wasn’t above admitting that getting out of Slykhelm on my own would have been impossible without help. My best friend of over two thousand years played an important role in helping me escape Slykhelm. The plan was that we’d meet up in a month’s time at the High Tail Tavern, a hot spot for criminal Fae, as soon as the news of my escape had cooled down a bit. Except that, I was here and Dani had yet to turn up.
So, here I stayed waiting for her while feeling utterly lost. I knew I needed to rebuild my kingdom in order to fight against Mab but I also didn’t know where to start. I’d declared a war that I couldn’t fight alone and I was surprisingly nervous to find what remained of my people. Would they hate me? Would they fight for me? Would they believe me when I told them the truth about everything? The possibilities were endless when it came to their reactions on my return. It also didn’t help that I had changed, I wasn’t the same person I was all those centuries ago. I broke in that cell. I had issues I didn’t have before, fears that haunted the corners of my mind and a new found sense of self-doubt that I couldn’t seem to shake. To be frank, I was a fucking head case.
Groaning, I sat up and shoved my hands through my hair. “Shut up. Just shut up, Macha. Stop wallowing. You never used to wallow.” I hated ‘woe is me’ moments but here the fuck I was, in a ‘woe is me’ moment. “You made your bed and you eagerly laid in it. Now deal with the result, you have an army to rally and a bitch to kill.”
Releasing the tight grip on my hair, I slid to the side of the bed and dropped my bare feet onto the cold wood. As I stood, a slight pinch at my wrists had me raising them to my eyeline. I curled my lip at the sight of the bloody claw marks that littered them, fifth fucking time this week. Reliving my own personal ifreann almost every night was getting extremely old. Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to relive it in person? Now I had to re-relive it in my dreams?
Padding across the room, I stopped at the untouched bath that had turned cold since I’d ignored it a couple of hours ago. Pressing a hand to the side of the metal tub, I closed my eyes and used a power I wasn’t supposed to have. Very slowly a heat that grew from my chest slithered it’s way down my arm until it pulsed in the pads of my fingers. Concentrating, I allowed the heat to break away from my skin to the side of the tub turning it a dull red where they met. It was a bit of a process but after a few moments the water heated to just above a lukewarm temperature. Eh, better than nothing.
One long leg after the other, I climbed into the tub before sinking down so just my head and hands remained above water. Wrinkling my nose at the way my knees stuck out, I forced my will over the metal making it stretch until I could straighten my legs. I loved my six three frame as it was much too easy to intimidate others but sometimes it made things annoying in a world where most of the people were at six feet or below. Three inches might not seem like it mattered but it did, it really did. Laughing at the juvenile joke, I slid a hand over the side of the tub to grab the little loufa hanging off the side. Dipping it into the small can of liquid soap and then the water, I began to scrub away the sweat from my limbs.
White suds frothed over rich brown skin and silver swirls that spanned the entire length of my body. Intricately interlocking with each other in a never ending pattern across my skin that ended just below my jawline. Announcing to all who saw them that I was sentenced to life in Slykhelm. However life in Slykhelm usually meant a thousand years and then death, so very few fae knew that the delicate design was actually a hefty prison sentence handed down by Mab herself. In fact, the only thing besides the tattoos that marred my skin were the puckered scars from the iron that pieced my flesh all those years ago.
Raising my arms, I gazed over the silver swirls with a sort of detached fondness. It was odd but the tattoos had never bothered me, maybe it was because I understood that I deserved them. I was rash in my decision to strike out so boldly against Mab, I hadn’t thought of the consequences my people would face if we lost. How the few she stole under the shadows of the night would turn into many. The tattoos served as a reminder that the woman I once was failed her people and it gave me a reason to never fail them again. If they ever allowed me to lead them again that is.
Scrubbing down the rest of my limbs, I scooped out more soap and lathered it throughout the royal blue strands of my hair. The tips of my fingers giving a little massage to the sides of my scalp before I submerged myself completely beneath the water to wash it out. Once I was confident the soap was gone, I stood facing the window and rung the excess liquid from my hair. The moon hung heavy and full above the sky partly covered by the clouds drifting past. Stars winked out at me causing a smile to ghost across my face. The fae of my generation believed that once we passed away, we rose to twinkle our mischief over the night as we watched our kin raise ifreann.
I found in Slykhelm that I had really enjoyed that thought.
Turning away I left the tub, leaving behind a trail of water as I walked towards the small chest at the end of the bed. After willing the lock to pop open, I grabbed a bundle of clothes and slammed it shut. Sliding the undergarments on first, I wiggled into a pair of butter soft black leather trousers and a navy blue tunic. A few seconds later, I felt the familiar and comforting weight of my silver waist chains settling into place around my hips. Fashionable yet deadly. Strolling to the bedside table, I took both my swords in hand before willing the metal to slide over my skin. Vibrant blue rings and bracelets quickly adorned both hands as I grabbed the black cloak from the table. No need to alert every guard with the sight of my signature twin swords, never mind the unique coloring of the metal.
Slipping my arms through the sleeves of the cloak, I raised them again to pull my hair out from underneath it while shoving my feet into my favorite pair of leather boots. Combing my fingers through my wet hair, I braided a few thin pieces on the left and right side of my head with little metal rings thrown in for fun. A few strides across the wooden floor and I was exiting the room to lazily pad down the hall. Boots thumping across the red rug, I willed the metal locks on my door to twist as it swung shut. The numbers on the wooden doors decreased the closer I got to the stairs leading down to the main part of the tavern. Shouts and laughter from the rowdy patrons below floated up to my ears at a drunken volume.
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