***
How could he change back into his body, though? Maybe he could just ask Google. People were talking about the weirdest things online right now, so if anyone had happened to go through the same experience, they were likely to share their experience and thoughts on social media.
Half an hour later, Carter was still as unknowledgeable on the matter as he had been when he had opened the laptop. He was about to just go to the kitchen and grab something to eat, when he heard, quite distinctly, a phone ringing.
He searched with his eyes until he noticed the smartphone on the nightstand. A pretty thing, dressed in a rose gold case and decorated with Swarovski crystals. That had to be Alex’s phone, there was no other explanation.
He had a mind to just let it ring. But maybe it was Aron, worrying about one thing or another, and wanting to check on his husband. Eventually, Carter decided to grab it from the nightstand. It wasn’t Aron. He just put it back, decided to continue his foray in the knowledge of body-swapping that was the Internet.
The phone rang again. Well, he could not avoid being Alex forever. Maybe just talking to someone Alex knew on the phone was a good start. Plus, he didn’t want to create any more suspicions and he didn’t want to have doctors really look at his head and decide that he was the perfect candidate for a visit to the loony bin.
The name on the screen said Yolanda. Sounded like someone working in the fashion business. Well, he had to do it, anyway. So he inhaled and swiped right. The phone wasn’t locked.
“Alex, I am so going to kill you!” a high-pitched voice made him take the phone away from his ear and grimace as if he had just had lemon wedges for lunch. That was probably the kind of meal Alex usually indulged in.
“Hey, Yolanda,” he answered, a bit unsure.
“Don’t hey, Yolanda, me, you fucking diva,” the female voice on the other end reached an even higher pitch. It was probably out of any musical scale in existence, and it broke the sound barrier faster than a supersonic jet. “Get your ass right here, right now. And if I catch a single scratch on that beautiful face of yours, I’m sending you to Switzerland for a full recovery treatment!”
Carter jumped to his feet and hurried to look in a mirror. He was in no mood to go to Switzerland. His body was still in the hospital. He exhaled in relief as he noticed that there was no trace of the scratches from before on Alex’s handsome face.
“No, I’m totally perfect,” he hurried to communicate the results of his examination to the woman on the other end.
“Good,” the woman seemed a bit appeased. “So what are you doing at home? Get your ass here right this instant!”
“I’m still on medical leave,” he said sharply.
Whoever this Yolanda was, he didn’t like her. She was a shrew and a slave driver. Supposedly.
“Honey, you’re on medical leave if you have a medical problem. Can you stand?”
“Yeah, I can,” Carter replied.
“Then chop-chop! Come to work or else.”
“Or else what?” he tried his luck.
A growl that might have belonged to a lion on a diet or a pissed wild cat was the only answer.
“Alex, you don’t want to know what else means in my vocabulary,” Yolanda said sweetly, but Carter was no fool.
That woman was probably sharpening her nails right now. He shuddered at the sudden image of Cruella de Vil crossed with Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada flashing in front of his eyes.
“So, do you need me?” he examined his face again in the mirror. “Like right now?”
“Like this morning, but let’s just pretend that I can live with you being fashionably late.”
“Fashionably late? It’s 1 pm,” Carter snorted.
“Yes, like in the definition of a rock star on coke, dear. Come now, don’t keep mommy waiting.”
Mommy? He was damn certain that devil of a woman had not one maternal bone in her skinny body. Well, she had to be skinny.
“Wait, I need to eat something first,” Carter said.
“Eat? Come now, Alex, fashion icons never eat. Come lean and hungry, dear. This is what brings home the dough.”
Carter shrugged. He was just going to grab a burger on his way to wherever Alex was working.
“Okay. Just give me the address.”
“What?” the voice reached the top notes from before in less than a fraction of a second.
“Ah, didn’t I tell you?” Carter said airily. “I’m kind of amnesic.”
“Shit,” the woman seemed appeased now, but, surprisingly enough, she sounded more human. “Should I let you rest then?”
“Nah, the doc says I should go back to familiar things, and it will all come back to me.”
“Great! Don’t worry! I’ll be here for you!” Yolanda said brightly.
He wasn’t sure he liked it when she said that.
***
He was more than content with the cheeseburger he had on the way to work, and he was now ready to face that harpy named Yolanda. Lean and hungry, my ass, he thought to himself. He was not one to be denied his protein. Maybe he could fatten Alex a little while at it. The guy was going to throw a hissy fit when they were going to get back to the way they were supposed to be. And when that was going to happen, he was ready to grab the popcorn and watch the show.
The fashion studio was housed by the same building sheltering a beauty mag and a fitness club. It all looked hip and, of course, fashionable, and it sort of intimidated him. But, as he passed through the chrome plated revolving doors, he could only think of one thing.
Don’t blow it.
A doorman dressed in livery that looked taken from a musical hurried to welcome him, offering him a pass since he naturally didn’t have his. From there, he was guided to an elevator and sent directly to Yolanda’s office.
He could tell, even without looking that everyone was talking about him. In hush-hush voices, but all a smile as they greeted him. And all these people looked like they were candidates to Next Top Model. He had to admit that he felt thankful he was walking in Alex’s shoes for a change. All these beasts dressed in designer clothes looked like they were about to rip him to shreds and the only thing keeping them from doing that was that Alex had creed. Like fashion creed, not street creed, and in this people’s eyes, loaded with too much mascara, that was all that mattered.
He was ready to face Yolanda Jones, as he read the name on the door. Yeah, he could take her.
“Alex,” a woman measuring no more than 5.1 sauntered from her desk and hurried to him.
She looked nothing like Meryl Streep or Cruella. She was just a short lady, dressed smartly in a pants suit the color of duck eggs, sporting a black bob with blue reflections. Her small round eyes reminded him of Marge from the hospital. And where he expected to see cruelty and the determination and lack of human empathy necessary for swinging a whip, he saw only kindness.
“So glad you’re fine,” she said as she began touching him everywhere like she wanted to make sure that he had all his 206 bones. “You had me worried, pumpkin!”
“Yolanda?” he said expectantly. Maybe this woman was just the secretary.
“Yes, dear?” she said quickly.
“I thought you were going to have my head over the phone.”
“Why would I? You’re here,” she said matter-of-factly. “Well, sometimes you need a little kick in the teeth. Figuratively speaking. Trust me, you bring out the worst in me. Before I met you, I almost never used four-letter words. Now, onto serious business. We have to prep you for the shampoo commercial at 3, and then we need to talk to the guys from that cosmetics company, you know, the one with the organic products. Dear, please do bear in mind to channel the bitchiest you, because we need to be tough. These people think that if they add a smidge of green to a label, they’re suddenly emissaries from God Almighty. In other words, they think they are entitled to a cheaper deal. Are you with me? And are you really fine, sweetie?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. And about all you said, sure thing, boss,” Carter said with a small smile.
Yolanda Jones was not a wild cat, but more of a mother hen.
“Okay,” she said, shaking her head and making a few hairs flew out from her perfect bob. “You never called me boss,” she added.
“Well, you’re the boss around here, right?” Carter shrugged.
Maybe the more he was blowing his cover, the more the powers that be were going to notice the mistake they made by misplacing him and Alex Ruskin. It was an alternative to consider.
“Right,” Yolanda said hesitantly, but didn’t pursue. “Go make yourself pretty. Ah, and your new assistant should arrive around 5, after we’re out of the meeting. Please, Alex, don’t be harsh on the boy. I told him not to come since I didn’t know for sure that you were going to be here. You know he has amazing references ...”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be hard on him,” Carter waved.
He could sense Yolanda was uncomfortable around him and he wanted to put her mind at ease.
“Promise?” the woman stared from below.
“Yeah,” he shrugged.
Maybe it was a good thing he had a new assistant. He was going to be able to relax in the presence of someone who didn’t know Alex Ruskin personally. But, until then, he had plenty of things on his plate.
***
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