I know my love, backs turned,
Handing you Aconites, where have your Azaleas gone?
Let your life wither away replaced with daisies
But a weed always grows back, doesn't it?
Lexi was running.
It was something she was good at, she’ll admit. Sprinting, weaving through trees and plants and beasts, all without making a single sound. She was silent, stealthy, almost a phantom of a creature that once was. A phantom. Did you know that you can't kill a phantom? That's why Lexi compared them to herself, because she too, was unkillable. Being unkillable wasn't as good as Beings believed. It was hard, traumatic, bloody. People around you change quickly, and with the passing time hate bubbles in their souls.
And then there were the scars. Scars of each tale, each betrayal, each time a heart was broken, each time Lexi was left to ‘die’ over and over-
The noose was tight on her throat, taloned hands grasping the air and out to others, those she had thought were family. She was young, stupid, struggling fruitlessly and swinging, and her talons feet couldn’t reach the floor. The dots danced in her vision, and the blood roaring in her ears slowly died down, movements slowing, breathing rasped and weakening until nothing, nothing, nothing-
Tears blurred her vision, but she couldn't bring herself to lift her weapon. She was a fool, a reckless, stupid fool, of course this was what happened. Someone, a liar, a fiend, gripped her hair, tugging it up to stare back at the person she had dared to call a friend. And the tears fell as they lashed across with their blade and Lexi spluttered, heaving, trembling, blood like the moons essence spilling from her mouth and the gaping hole in her throat, breathing rasped and weakening until nothing, nothing-
She was furiously yelling, screaming and lashing out like a fearful animal. But she was, she was fearful. She was scared in more ways than one, screaming with no words, just loud screeches of fury and heartbreak. She didn’t care if she got hurt in her recklessness, swinging her blade back and forth to keep the circling tribe away, away from her. She bared her teeth and snapped, and then there was a wet sound as something stuck her back and went all the way through. She choked, sobbed, screaming in anger as she fell, body twitching, chest aching, breathing always the same, stupid raggered breathing, rasping and weakening till nothing, nothing was left.
Lexi ran to get away from it all. All the thoughts, all the memories, all her problems. If she ran hard enough and long enough the world would blur, and she would be too focused on dodging to even try to think. There was a reason that Lexi was running. And yes there was a problem. She had to go into town, she needed more crystals, for you don't normally find crystals just, laying around. She had wondered if she couldn't die then she wouldn't die of starvation, but that didn't mean she didn’t feel hungry.
And crystals were where she got most of her energy, so eating flowers or cooked meat wouldn't tie her over for long. Lexi rounded another corner, letting out an annoyed growl of frustration. It wasn't fair!!! Life would be so much easier if she could just stay in the forest where she belonged, and not interact with other Beings! From the waters edge of the river Lexi was alongside, Mamapa watched her sprint laps around a small set of trees. The Marine Cycler made a concerned rumbling sound, and Lexi stopped doing laps to jog over to the rivers bed, panting silently.
Mamapa lowered her head to gently press against Lexi, and Lexi silently wrapped her arms around the top part of the Marines Cycler slim, sleek, peach-fuzzy fur covered snout. She quietly sighed, burrowing her face away to hide and Mamapa cooed softly, the noise rippling through and shaking Lexi’s inter body. “I’m okay.” she muttered. “Just, annoyed. I don't wanna go to any place with Beings….. I don't wanna die again,” Lexi said quietly.
Mamapa softly growled, and pressed her face into Lexi more, nearly knocking her over. Lexi giggled, a soft, bell-like noise, and pulled away with a soft sigh, picking up her hand made bag she had left next to Mamapa. “Okay… I better just get it over with then. I’ll be back soon, maybe nightfall? I hope, if not then I’ll try to be back before tomorrow morning.” She promised, slinging the bag over her shoulder. Mamapa made a coo-chir-chir noise, shaking out her head and raising it up beyond the tree line. Lexi quietly smiled and studied the deep blue and black horns, hooked snout and a long swan neck.
“Okay… I’ll be back soon.” Lexi said, taking one step before turning, slipping into the trees, vanishing from the eye view of the one that was more of a parent than the ones that brought her into this world. The forest wasn't as dense as Lexi would like it, every couple of trees she would rapper-tap onto the rough bark of one and keep going. The Nature Deities in this area were use to her, given she had brought them gifts for three days in a row, to allow her to freely come and go as she pleased. But still, she knocked, just to be polite. She jumped vines and weaved and ducked around and under carnivorous plants and sleeping beasts, spooking birds and other animals of the sky into flight and left small land creatures to skuttle and scramble away.
Faster, faster, faster. She rocketed out of a tree into a clearing, fear blooming and twirling and twisting for a second, clashing with adrenaline as she was thrown forward into the air, before the floor came close and she hit it, stumbling into a quick tucked up roll, rolling and spinning and she clamped her mouth tightly shut, giggles despite this forming. She couldn't laugh, last time she did she bit off her tongue, and that was a pain to grow back.
Stumbling to her feet, she paused, just upon the edge of the forest. Her smile slowly smoothed out to a small frown, as she realised she would have to leave her home- the forest so soon. With a huff, she rumbled through her bag, still settled against her back, realising and ignoring the slight pain from when the firm objects inside had dug into her back during her stumble. There wasn’t a lot in her bag. Her mask, which she pulled out, as well as an old stolen first aid kit, emergency snacks and an emergency switch blade. Her mask was smooth, a greyish white- almost the colour of bones, with black transparent lens embedded into it. Small systematic holes lined the bottom to allow her to speak as well as a large hole where her nose was to allow breathing.
Suffocating ain't fun kids!
She looked back to the forest, silent, and huffed sadly. She lined the holes in the top part of the mask with her forehead horns, sliding it down over her face. She gathered the fabric on the sides of the mask and pulled them back, tying them up to secure the mask to her face. It was rather stuffy, breathing through the mask, but that was irrelevant. It prevented them from seeing her eyes.
“It's the eyes!!!!” a lady shrillily shrieked. “It's the eyes that speak the truth! And its eyes behold a DEMON!” Shouts of agreement spurred the air. “AND THE DEMON MUST BE PERISHED!”
Those infected with Dromer zoises all share one characteristic, other than being immune to death and being slaughtered. Their pupils are always plus shaped. The eyes hold the truth. Her eyes showed she was infected. “Really? Pus shape? How silly.” he giggled, talons prodding the fire. “Shapes are irrelevant, people need to grow up.” Lexi quietly stood there, breathing, living, existing. Hating. Seething in pain and hurt. Why? Why did he do it? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Her scar on her neck burned.
Her mind fell numb. Traitor. Lexi moved, but she didn’t think. She existed, but wasn’t real. Breathed, but wasn’t alive. Get the crystals. Leave. Get crystals, leave, go back to Mamapa. Mamapa. Lexi inhaled, and she was back. She hadn’t even realised she had dazed out that much, and that she had started walking as well- talk about embarrassing. Thank the titans her mask was on. She had those periods, where the world blurred, reality and the past fused and she couldn’t tell where she was or what was happening. She had the tendency to wander, aimless and lost, searching for something out of reach and non-existence.
Normally she was with Mamapa when it happened and the massive Marine Cycler would notice the lack of sounds coming from her adopted kitling, gently pick her up and cradle her, keeping her safe and buried in soft fur, assuring Lexi didn’t endanger herself. She couldn’t really remember the time spent dazed, but she remembered coming back, eyes fluttering against fur, Lexi was warm and cosy as she slowly, tiredly lifted her head. Her focus fluctuated, vision blurring in and out of focus like a bad camera lens. She felt heavy, and outside was cold and the fur was so warm….. There was a huff, and gently, something firm and peach-fuzz covered pressed her down into the soft bedding, a rumbling purr curling around her, the vibrations only assisting to make her eyelids heavier. She mumbled, some delusional nonsense, nuzzled close, and the world slipped through her fingers like wet sand.
Lexi already missed her adopted parent figure, beast or not. Mamapa was much better at being a parent than anyone else she knew. Anyone she ever had. The village was basic, in a sense, with rickety huts made of live plants and offered wood planks. You could tell the planks were offered by the guardians of the forest because of the rune cave into it. There are different species here and there, and every so often one or two would stare at her, confused at the sight of her in the mask.
She ignored them. Lexi just focused on the floor, staring aggressively through her lens as she walked around aimlessly for the market. Find the crystals. Leave. Go back to the forest and Mamapa. She didn’t look around in the market. Simply read the metal tealish-grey signs labelled with different foods until she found ‘Crystals’. She moved quickly down the hall, fumbling as she squinted at the labelling. I really have to update my reading skills…. She huffed, stomping a taloned foot, and snatched up a blue packet. The scribbles on the packet made no sense, and it nearly frustrated Lexi to tears. She wanted to go home. She flipped the packet over, trying to distinguish the symbols. There was a small picture of Lexi species on the packet though- a small dark blue Udrakojii giving a happy thumbs up.
Welp. Good enough. She held the package close, and quickly made her way to the register. The Being at the register was a male Asterofágos- his frills flicked nervously at the sight of Lexi, but Lexi just wordlessly placed the package on the bench and then pulled out some lealletes and placed it on top. All Beings were naturally weary of her. Either hated her, or feared her, or both! You never knew. It hurt. Lexi tried to pretend it didn’t but it did. The constant fear…. Hate…. No one lives a life enjoying that…
And Lexi….. Well she was just as much of a Being as anyone else. But.
No one saw that. They only saw a monster.
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