I eyed my dessert, which was perched in a glass bowl at the far end of the table atop some apples and bananas. Most people liked something sweet for their dessert. If I had a choice, it was always fruits, preferably citrus fruits. I was hopelessly hooked on those. I'd need to ask Kade to peel an orange for me. Or a few tangerines. Or both.

The bowl was full of fruits, thus I didn't risk lifting it with one hand. Instead, I pushed it closer to my seat. Two traitorous tangerines managed to escape the full bowl. One rolled to the middle of the table, the second fell to the floor before I could catch it. Of course, I bent to retrieve the tangerine without a second thought.

I realized the mistake of my action when it was already too late to stop. Only when I felt dizziness draw me down did I remember that something so natural and done thousands of times without thinking needed some conscious preparation now: No sudden movements when going up or down. Slow and gradual, with head held vertical to avoid a bout of dizziness and nausea.

The swirl was so sudden and strong I ended up plopping on my knees, grasping the floor with my only hand to keep my head from kissing the floor. I felt gravitation pull on my left side and most likely I would’ve fallen on my fractured arm if not for Kade's arms around my ribs. He carefully guided me to kneel in an upright position. I closed my eyes to stop the world from spinning and swallowed to settle the storm in my stomach.

“Sorry, I forgot.” I grimaced at my own carelessness. “And thank you. That was excellent timing.”

“I should tie you to a chair to keep you in place,” Kade grumbled half-heartedly.

“And take out all the fun of you running around after me?” I joked back, signaling to help me up when spinning changed to a gentle rocking.

A similar scenario happened this morning when I bent to get into my shoes and ended up nearly sprawled on the floor. Fortunately, the hospital room was small, and Kade was close and watching. He caught me right after I squeaked and flailed my hand for balance.

“Doing okay?” he checked after we stood, grey eyes searching my face for any sign of pain.

“My pride landed another serious bruise, but otherwise I'm dandy fine.”

“Your pride will survive.”

Kade brushed his hand against my chin, picked up the tangerine from the floor, and went to wipe the droplets of spilled water from the two glasses. He was obviously in haste to rush to my side upon seeing me go down.

“The poor thing can take only so much, you know,” I complained artificially as I sank carefully into the chair. I had learned my lesson. Until I forgot again.

The dinner was delicious. We touched easy topics and loosely planned today and tomorrow. For example, I would Skype my brother Chris this evening and talk to my goddaughter, Tori, then Kade and I would watch Godfather to relax. I'd visit Misty tomorrow, have a walk, and have a few friends over in the evening.

It was a good plan. Being occupied would keep my mind from wandering. Or overanalyzing things I shouldn’t.

“Tangerines?” Kade took a couple from the bowl after our plates were polished. I didn't even have to ask the sweet man. “Are you ready to talk about the thoughts that caused your headaches today?” He glanced at me as he peeled the first one.

“Could we postpone it until tomorrow, or next year, maybe?” Yeah, avoidance was quickly becoming my best friend. “Hearing myself whine again is something I'd prefer to avoid, at least for today,” I explained, stuffing my mouth with the juicy tangerine.

Our rule was to talk about what bothered us, sort it out, and move on. No more emotional baggage piling up and causing a rift in our relationship; we learned from our mistakes. Well, Kade certainly did. When he swept me off my feet the second time, I went along with his rules. The result was these last four years of life together we both enjoyed greatly.

“I hate to see you beat yourself up when you should be relaxing. But if you’re not up for it today, then tomorrow it is.” Kade passed me two halves of the second peeled tangerine and stood up to take the dishes back to the kitchen. I could have kissed him for backing off. “It might be a good idea for you to lie down and have some shut-eye. Those headaches must have tapped with your energy reserves.”

It was a splendid idea. I doubted I’d fall asleep despite feeling tired, but I could at least try. Or I could pretend to be asleep for Kade to get a short respite from the role of a kindergarten supervisor.

Our bedroom and comfy bed was out of the question though—I was sure anger and guilt would eat me alive there. I’d deal with those in the evening. Somehow.

“Do you mind if I nap on the couch?” I asked Kade's broad back while he loaded the dishwasher.

“Go right ahead.”

I brought the two empty glasses to the kitchen and retreated with a quiet thanks.

Taking a nap in the middle of the day—how pitiful was that? Was this the new me? A man, reduced not only to a child with pointless temper tantrums, but also to an old man, requiring naps to recuperate. I carefully laid down on the sofa, making conscious effort to stop that thought.

Think of something positive, Evan. You’ve had enough headaches for today.

My focus shifted to the sounds reaching me as I breathed deeply. Some clatter, the fridge door was opened and closed, then a drawer slid open and closed, some rustle, and finally quiet. Was Kade observing me?

In the hospital, I woke up several times to Kade watching me breathe. My car accident had scared the poor man a lot. Once I healed, I’d make up to him for causing all the worry.

I heard some more faint noises from the kitchen, then footsteps retreating to our bedroom. My heart dreaded that this could be the beginning of a trend, one that would grow into avoidance of each other.

No, this wouldn’t happen. I pushed my mind to think happy thoughts.

Remembering how sure Kade was when he revealed his interest in me at the club years ago was a fond memory. He knew what he wanted, and he didn’t mind waiting to get it.

Kade was also the one who pursued me when his patience finally ran out. And I was glad he did.