“Quinn.”

“Yes?”

“Would you get mad if I told you to leave right now?”

Rather than angry, Quinn’s eyes seemed genuinely concerned. “And why do you want me to leave?”

Darcy glanced at him, lips pressed in anguish.

“I just don’t feel like I can talk normally with you right now.”

“You don’t have to act okay if you’re not, Darcy.” He reached out to hold her hand, but she pulled it away. “Darcy, what did I do?” He added, gazing at her profile.

“If I don’t act normally, we will fight. I don’t want that.” She seemed to be struggling to even speak.

“We won’t fight. We’ll solve it together, and it will be fine.”

“It’s not something that can be solved.” The more she spoke, the weaker her voice seemed to get. Her wet hair added to the melancholy of her features.

“Try me.”

Her hazel eyes turned to him skeptically. Did she not feel so distant from him, he would have hugged her. As things stood right now, he felt it was a miracle that she was even talking to him.

“There are only two ways to solve it.” Darcy declared. “Either we undo the past, which is impossible, or we get even.”

“Even? Darcy, what are you talking about?” Feeling her eyes tearing up, Darcy looked away, doing her best to remain collected.

“I don’t want the second option either! I hate even thinking about it! But I am restless. I-“ Quinn took a moment to decode her words.

“Is it about... my past?” He hesitated to say this for fear that it wasn’t the case and it would summon unneeded grief to both of them. Darcy’s reaction told him otherwise though. She broke down in tears, hiding her face with her forearm and her mouth with her hand.

“Darcy...” Quinn’s heart ached at this sight. He really wanted to hug her, to at least have her cry in his arms. But how could he comfort her with the same body that was the source of her pain in the first place?

“...Please, leave.” She muttered between sobs.

“I can’t leave you like this.” He spoke so gently his voice was almost inaudible.

“Then what can you do besides watching me cry like a bitch?”

“Don’t say that about yourself.”

“Just go, Quinn! I don’t wanna be seen like this.” Darcy exclaimed, turning her back towards him.

“There’s nothing wrong with crying. Darcy, please, let’s talk about this.”

“I don’t wanna talk about shit, okay? Whatever happened happened!” she added, still in tears. “Whether or not we talk about it won’t change shit.”

Quinn flinched. He had hurt her this much by his pathetic attempts to run away from pain. He had hurt her, while placing all the blame on Karl for being the way he was. His friend’s words suddenly rang in his ears. You’ve got it all, after all. You got the face, the body, the girl... Maybe Karl was right. Maybe his life was too easy. Yesterday it was Karl who was weeping at him. Today it was Darcy. Quinn thought that he deserved to feel at least as much pain as they did.

“Darcy. If... you really want to do it, I... understand.”

Darcy’s wet hazel eyes suddenly looked at him, horrified. He clenched his fists and looked away from her, lest seeing her face would weaken his will. Gulping, he continued.

“If... you think that’s the only solution, I’ll, I mean, just go for it... and... be careful, please.” He felt his heart breaking with every word he said. Good, he thought, he deserved it.

“Just... like that?” She replied. Quinn could no longer keep his composure.

“What more could you want me to do? Huh? I am telling you, you can go... have sex with someone else. If that’s the only way for you to forget this, then so fucking be it.”

“Why do you always give up on yourself so easily?” Darcy broke into another fit of crying. Quinn grabbed her face with both his hands.

“Do you even realize how much it hurts me to say this? Or is it only your feelings that matter?”

“I never wanted you to say that!” She tried to move her face away, but his grip was too strong.

“Then what the fuck did you want me to say? First you say there is no way to solve this other than you fucking some random guy, and now that I tell you that you can, I am the one giving up?”

“I just... wanted you to tell me...” Darcy was a weeping mess. Quinn instinctively softened his grip around her cheeks. “I just wanted you to tell me that the past doesn’t matter to you... that it feels like a first to you too...” Her face contorted into an expression of betrayal. “Not for you to tell me that I can go sleep with someone else...”

“Would you even believe me?” Quinn leaned closer to her. “I am always telling you how much I love you, but you don’t want to believe me. I told you it’s the first time for me, which is why I am so clumsy about it in the first place.” he bit his lower lip. “It feels like you’ve somehow convinced yourself that this is normal to me, that this doesn’t affect me at all, just because I had previous relationships.”

Darcy weakly nodded. “I just...” she sniffed. “I just wanted to be your first too.”

“You are! Please fucking understand, Darcy. Stop listening to what your head’s telling you, and listen to me for once. Whatever happened in the past doesn’t make my feelings for you any less genuine or true, please, believe me.”

Darcy’s phone rang, making both their faces turn towards it. Keeping one hand caressing Darcy’s wet cheek, he reached out for the phone.

“Hello.” He took a deep breath. “Yes, I’ll be there in a minute.” He placed the item back on the nightstand. “It’s the delivery guy,” he said. Releasing her all together, he stood up and put back on his coat.

“I’ll be back, okay?” He then knelt in front of her, a reassuring smile on his face. “I love you, Darcy. You’re the one for me; do you understand?” Darcy nodded, sniffing.

“Please don’t... please don’t ever think otherwise, no matter what happens. My love for you is literally the only thing I am certain about in my life. Let me at least have that, please.” As Quinn spoke, his ocean blue eyes were like the warm waters gently wrapped by the embrace of the rising sun. Darcy wanted that warmth for herself. She threw her arms around him.

“I...I love you too, Quinn, so, so much!” Almost instantly, she felt two strong arms wrap around her tightly, just like the sun in his eyes. Darcy melted like the waves into the shore.