James was never going to be able to remember all the names and numbers he needed to by Monday, as Will had asked. He'd stayed late every night pouring over file after file, but nothing was sticking.
It might have been because he was preoccupied with thoughts of a certain coworker who ripped his heart out and stomped on it, but James would never admit that.
He was just about to give up and call it a night when he was startled by a loud beeping.
A loud beeping, it seemed, that was coming from the pocket of said coworker.
It took a second for James to take in the situation, and it seemed the encounter had also taken Ben by surprise.
He didn't want drama, so James decided that polite and professional was the only real option. He was at work, after all.
“Uh... hey. Need something?”
as if in slow motion James watched Ben's expression turn from shocked, to confused and, finally, to relieved.
“Uh...” Ben mumbled, pulling his eyes away and hesitantly walking closer. “No, just delivering this” He waved the file he was holding up slightly.
“Ok.” James responded. Why was this awkward? This shouldn't be awkward.
Ben disappeared into Will's office, then popped out seconds later, hesitating for just a second too long to be casual.
“Anything else?” James asked, trying to sound calm and relaxed, but inwardly screaming with social anxiety
Ben opened his mouth, paused for a second, and then dropped his head.
“Nope. No, I'm good.”
James watched as Ben pivoted in the doorway and started walking back to the elevator, taking just a few steps before pausing, dropping his head again and continuing on his way.
Watching Ben round a corner, James wondered why his chest hurt so much. Why did he feel disappointed that Ben hadn't tried to clear the air? Why did his heart break seeing Ben so unsure and... broken?
Just as he decided to stuff all those feelings down and go home, he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up just in time to see Ben rush around the corner, stopping as the two made eye contact.
“I'm still in love with you!”
*****
Having tried to play it cool and professional, Ben had delivered his file and left. He was free! Taking a second by the elevator to catch his breath Ben finally remembered the reason for the awkward run in. His phone. Ben pulled it out of his pocket expecting to find nothing more than an app notification, and was shocked to see that Haruki has finally responded to his early morning whinge.
“You've worked hard on yourself to be the man you are today; A man I am proud to call my son. You owe it to yourself, and to James, to fight for your happiness. If nothing else, you both deserve a chance to put the past behind you. Fight, my boy, fight like hell!”
Goddammit, his Papa was right. Ben knew deep down that he couldn't continue without telling James the truth, and he knew that James deserved to know. The chance to heal was all too tempting, and before Ben could change his mind he allowed his legs to lead him back to the man he truly wanted to fight for.
As he rounded the corner his eyes locked with stunning hazel orbs and all his emotions seemed to suddenly burst to the surface.
“I'm still in love with you!” He all but yelled at his confused coworker, continuing to unload as though he were incapable of stopping even a syllable.
“I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I've been sorry since the day we separated! I made a stupid mistake and I wish more than anything that I could take it back!” His eyes were stinging and his chest thumping painfully, but he felt lighter. “I wish I never hurt you.” The tears had pushed their way to the surface now and the urgency in his words had dissipated, but the pain in his chest remained.
The two stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and Ben watched as James seemed to filter through all the emotions possible, before his face turned cold again.
“I'm working.” James finally responded, his voice shaking despite his stone-like mask.
“I...” Ben wasn't sure what to do from here. “How can I fix this? Please, James, let me try!” He was getting desperate now. He knew that if he left now, there was no chance of closure, and even less chance of earning his way back into James' life.
James closed his eyes and took a deep breath out, before slowly turning back to face his desk. Ben's heart plummeted. That was it. He'd lost. As the wave of defeat began it's crushing descent, Ben slowly turned back to leave, but just as he took his first step James spoke.
“Give me 10 minutes. I have to finish some things. We can talk after.” It was barely above a whisper, but he'd heard it. James was prepared to hear him out. Ben turned to face James again, but he was still staring at his desk.
“Ok! Thank you! Umm... I'll... meet you in the lobby and we can chat when you're ready.” Ben quickly responded, taking his opportunity before it could be snatched back from him. “Thank you!”
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