I was pushed down as if to be choked to death. It was my supposed chained self who'd attack as I saw tears of blood crawl down his cheeks. 

He was hesitant to actually kill me during this sleep and so I woke up with sweat and tears. I was hurt, not physically but mentally. 

Hurt and confused, the more this went on the more certain it became that I'd lived a miserable former life. 

I'd been reincarnated but it doesn't feel true. Perhaps I locked away those memories as I'd tried to forget them and in these dreams the inner self of me continues to seek death rather than another chance. 

I was weak and with this life I could do anything but deep down, perhaps that is not what my former seeks. 

Mother and the maid came abruptly due to the cries I released. They were confused by the sweat as it was warm with a short breeze of cold as the winter would soon arrive. 

I knew there were reasons for being weary all of a sudden, sweat doesn't appear much out of a baby without a reason and by the looks of it. The medical state of this world doesn't seem as advanced as those in my dreams. 

Afraid, that was my current state. Not because of what may come out of my future, but of what I may lead on doing to myself. Or at least the self deep inside me, the one who endured the constant bullying and torture during those days. 

I was just a teenager at that point and misery had struck deep during those short days. 

"Why do you seek death?"

I questioned myself as my sleep continued and I stared at my chained self. 

Our language was understandable as we'd lived the same life while I also understood the one I'd been born to in this world. 

He slowly moved around and manipulated the environment we were in as if to strike fear on me or to change our whereabouts. 

It was instant as it continued to get modified. He remained where he was however we were in the room that I'd dream of first. A pool of blood on the ground and the walls covered in organs and blood. I wanted to vomit at the sight but hold it in as to show myself strong enough despite my undeveloped body. 

"V-"

"Huh?"

He stopped before speaking and cleared out his face to reveal his face which remained blurred to me. 

"You've yet to accept your former self."

"Excuse me?"

"You see a blur, much like I see it on you. You come to not accept your past, as I come to not accept my current being in this new world."

Chains tied me into the wall to hold me in as to show me what exactly it was that he meant. Blood poured and formed like a vast sea to show me what he thinks of himself despite our chance in life. I didn't accept it, and I knew that as I always seemed to find myself differently. 

I was born and each night for many months I'd have those dreams of the modern days in which I would always find myself in pain and sickness. People would try their best to help but I hold them away despite my form of living and thinking. 

Therapists were a waste of money as I'd never paid any attention and called them trash. 

Marie, was the only one to truly make a change at first. She was the one to give birth to our child

"Yes, she was everything to us. Actually more to me as it is to you. You've never once thought of her the way I did when I lived."

After their death during that unbeknown incident I suffered insanely. I broke down and nearly went insane into leading a dark life, but the fact we had a daughter kept us in check. 

Support from both sides of the family, I didn't work but the money I always received from them always went to our daughter in savings and life. Even so we worsened and led to death in which we died with regrets and pain of doing nothing for ourselves and others close to us. 

I detested my former, and chose to forget about it, as he detested my outcome and created another persona of myself within me. 

I didn't have the same feeling for the former life I once hold. I was born anew which made my emotions attached to this new world rather than the old.

"I'm sorry.

DIE!