Time seemed to slow as I waited for something, anything to happen. My fingers were sore from where I had nervously scratched them together. How many times had I repeated this action? My body would repair the minuscule injuries not long after it happened, and I couldn’t help but be annoyed. It was mentally and physically draining being trapped on this bed, in this room, with only my thoughts to keep me company. At this point, I almost wish that someone would come see me. This isolation, no matter how short it might be, was making me feel like I was losing what little bit of sanity I had left. Every noise in the room seemed to echo loudly in my ears, the things that I normally used to distract me were gone. I raised my head slightly and could see the empty seat where Dr. Nemeroff would normally sit. His broken glasses lay on the desk, placed there by one of the guards after they drug him away to who knows where. I hope he is still alive, and I hope that I can find him when I get out of here. My own bodily scent permeated my nasal cavity and I retched in disgust. I desperately wanted to shower. 

I heard movement and talking at the door and I turned my head waiting for someone to enter. The door slowly slid open and I saw two figures, Dr. Wilhelm and Creso. The two men stood at the door talking with the guards and then they walked my way. Creso greeted me with an artificial smile and Dr. Wilhelm looked at me with the same cold stare as yesterday. 

The doctor reached for my upper arm and I instinctively tried to pull away. I heard a click as a wide black cuff fell into his hands. I don’t know how I had been unaware of its presence, not that it mattered. The doctor tapped on the device in silence, no expression indicative of what he was looking at. 

Creso stepped closer to Dr. Wilhelm and looked at the device. I let out an unintentionally audible “Tsk” as I stared at Creso. I am almost positive he has no clue what he is looking at. I received an evil glare from Creso and looked quickly in the other direction.

Creso asked the doctor, “have there been any significant changes?”. 

Dr. Wilhelm said, “no, aside from some slight changes in his blood, everything is where I would expect.” 

Creso said, “good. Remove the restraints and I will be back.” 

He approached the side of my bed but I didn’t want to look at him so I continued staring at the wall. Angered, he grabbed my chin and made me look at him as he said, “do not cause any problems!”

I swallowed hard and just nodded.

He walked toward the door and motioned for the guard to follow. 

 My focus returned to the doctor as I felt him removing the restraints. When he removed the last strap I rolled to my side and pulled myself into a fetal position before attempting to sit up. My whole body felt sore from laying in the same position for many hours. I set up on the bed and hung my legs over the edge. The thin hospital style pants offered little warmth, and my chest was exposed. I looked around for my shirt but couldn’t find it. So, I instead tried to create some warmth by rubbing my hands over my arms. 

I hadn’t even had time to stand on my feet before Creso walked back into the room. Behind him a guard pulled Dr. Nemeroff along. Thankfully, other than the injuries he received yesterday he didn’t look like he had been injured any further. Creso pulled the chair over from Dr. Nemeroff’s desk and sat about six feet in front of me. He motioned for the guard to place Dr. Nemeroff in the chair. The doctor was pushed into the chair, his tied hands fell into his lap, and he looked silently down at the floor.  

The guard stood behind Dr. Nemeroff while Creso walked in my direction. Creso pulled out a small dagger in a black leather sheath and held it out to me. I looked up at him like he was crazy and said, “I don’t understand.”

He tipped his head to the side and said, “you are going to help me.”

I looked at the knife and then at him again. I swallowed hard and my whole body began to tremble.

Creso laughed, “your confusion is priceless. Let me explain it to you. You are going to kill Dr. Nemeroff for me.” 

“What? No!” My voice cracked as I spoke. 

Creso smiled as he said, “your friends will be arriving soon. I have no use for anyone except the doctor but I will consider allowing them to live if you do as I say.”

I didn’t understand what Creso was asking for. Why was he asking me to do this? Any of his men could do this, so why ask me? 

He held the dagger closer to me. I reached a trembling hand towards it. My fingers just barely touched the metallic handle and I could feel its cold smooth surface. Creso said, “we are wasting time, make your decision.” I wrapped my hand around the knife and pulled it towards me. I looked at it unsure of what to do.

Creso snapped, “make your decision!”

I scooted off the table and felt like my legs were going to buckle. I held the dagger in my hands as I walked towards Dr. Nemeroff. My palms were sweaty and I felt like the dagger was going to slip out of my hand. I stood in front of Dr. Nemeroff, he was silent and wouldn’t look at me. Had he resigned himself to death? What was I supposed to do?

Again Creso spoke, “stop wasting my time and just do it.” 

He grunted as he walked over to Dr. Nemeroff, he pulled his head back exposing his neck to me. I felt like I had sweat running down my face and I wanted to vomit. I looked down at the dagger. I can’t do this! I would never do this! I pulled the dagger out and was finally met with Dr. Nemeroff’s eyes. I stepped closer to Dr. Nemeroff and place the dagger into the air. I caught sight of a sickenly grin on Creso’s face and I returned the smile as I turned the dagger toward myself and lodged it into an area that I hoped would miss an organ. 

I could hear Dr. Nemeroff as he spoke, “Jax, No!” but I didn’t look back at him.

I locked eyes with Creso, his face full of shock. With what little strength I had I said, “now that look is priceless!”

Creso let go of Dr. Nemeroff and shock soon turned to anger. He walked over to me and yanked the dagger out of my chest. I felt dizzy as blood spilled down my chest and onto the floor. He took a cloth from his pocket and wiped it clean and then placed the dagger back into the sheath.

My vision was blurring a little and Creso’s voice seemed a little muffled.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t experienced something like this before. The last couple of weeks has shown me exactly what my body could take. It didn’t make it any less painful though. I lowered myself to the floor and tried to hold pressure on the wound. I could just barely make out what he was saying. “Get this mess up and return the doctor to the basement.” 

He looked behind me and said, “Make him suffer. I have to go and prepare for our guests.” He locked eyes with me and snarled, “enjoy your time with Dr. Wilhelm.”

Dammit! I gritted my teeth. I had forgotten about Dr. Wilhelm.

Dr. Nemeroff was trying to pull away from the guard as he said, “what the hell are you going to do to him?” They drug him out of the room and offered no response to the man.

I could feel my wound closing up, but that didn’t do much for the blood I had lost and I was almost positive that Dr. Wilhelm wouldn’t help me. Hopefully, it just was less than I thought and I would be ok.  

I felt something push me onto my stomach and pain shot through my body. I writhed in pain as he told me to stay still. I tried to turn my head towards him and yelled, “fuck You!”. 

He placed a foot on my back and said, “Stay still and stop fighting or else I will open you up and let you bleed to death on this floor right now.”

I knew that Dr. Wilhelm was serious. I tried to be still although the pain was horrible. I felt the cold needle enter my spine and the memories of the pain from yesterday came rushing back. Maybe, I would pass out and not have to experience this all over again. The doctor called two guards over. “Place him on the table and replace the straps,” he said.

When the guards picked me up off the floor I could see there was a lot of blood.  When they rolled me onto the table the pain was unbearable and I was sweating profusely. Thank god I could feel myself slipping into sleep. 

*** 

I awoke to excruciating pain, my entire body was on fire. I pulled at the restraints disoriented and confused. I looked around for Dr. Wilhelm, but instead I see Lance staring at me. 

He says, “I wondered how long it would take you to wake up. You were pulling so hard on the straps that you almost flipped the bed.”

Why did I have to go through this again? Why did that Doctor leave Lance watching me? 

Lance walked closer to me and reached out and ran his fingers across my cheek and down to my lips. I shook my head trying to avoid his touch but the pain was so horrible I just wanted it to stop. Tears escaped my eyes and I started to beg, “please unstrap me and to let me escape. I can’t go through this again. Please!”

Lance removed his hand from my face and reached into his pocket. He said, “I can't let you go but I might be able to help you feel less pain.” 

He held a bottle of blue cryo in front of me. I started to cry more as the pain increased.

Lance squeezed the bottle and said, “do you want these?”

I looked away, why am I in this position again? I hate this man and now I am having to depend on him yet again. I’m going to hate myself for this, I know it. The pain was increasing and I was afraid. I needed to get control of this and get out of here.I turned my head back and cried out, “Yes, please!” 

He pulled back from the table and walked away. When he returned he was carrying a paper cup of water. Lance sat the paper cup on a nearby table and then unstrapped my arms and legs. He opened the pill bottle and shook out what sounded like a handful of pills. He helped me sit up and pushed what felt like five or six pills into my mouth. He picked the cup up and poured water into my mouth. I swallowed but it was painful and I felt like I was choking as they went down. He let go of me and said, “well this is either going to make you feel a whole lot better or it’s going to kill you.”  Lance looked towards the door like he was afraid the guards would enter. He looked back at me with a coldness in his eyes, grabbed me by my arms pulling me up off the bed. My legs were weak and I barely could stand. He said “you better not die, or my life will be on the line.”

When he let go of me, my legs couldn’t support me and I ended up on the floor. 

Lance didn’t even try to help me up. Instead he walked over to Dr. Nemeroff’s chair, pulled out his phone and ignored me.  About 30 min later I felt like the pain had decreased enough for me to sit up. After a couple of tries I was able to stand. Lance finally noticed I was up and he stood up and walked towards him. My back was to him and I didn’t want to turn around to face him, I was already disgusted with myself for accepting help from him. He said, “go shower and I will find you clean clothing,” and then headed out the door.

My mind was cloudy from the pills and everything felt numb so it made things difficult to walk. When I made it to the bathroom I caught sight of myself in the mirror. A pale sickly figure looked back at me. How long have I been here to change so much? Acid filled my throat and I was hit with another wave of dizziness that made me grab the counter. I carefully walked towards the shower and turned the warm water on. I removed what little clothing I had on and crawled into the open shower space. The water ran over my body, but strangely I couldn’t feel the temperature. I had used what little energy I had left so I slid down the wall onto the wet floor and let just let the clean water run over me. 

 

 My body began to shiver uncontrollably as I realized the hair on my arms and legs were standing up.  Confused and unsure of how long had passed I reached for the water to turn it off. As my consciousness began to re-assimilate I started to remember what had happened and where I was at. I could hear talking in the distance. Lance and one of the guards were talking and despite my current state I was still able to follow the conversation. My mind was quickly engulfed by fear as I heard the words, “Jax’s friends have been spotted within the surveyed area. Mr. Creso thinks they will try to enter the facility at nightfall.”