Ash

Ash hummed to himself as he picked up a greasy frying pan. 

Stress from his encounters with AJ, compounded by his lack of sleep, was taking a toll on him. Nightmares about his past woke him up at least once an hour last night. Years have passed, but they still plagued him. 

Sebastian tapped him on the shoulder as he sprayed down the pan. Startled, Ash squeezed the panhandle too hard with his right hand and dropped it.

CLANG!

Agitated, he looked around and stammered apologies at the room for ruining the pan. He prayed for the pan to be in-tact.

Never before has he been this distracted. 

“You okay?” his friend asked as he wrapped his arm around Ash’s shoulder.

Ash nodded.

“Sorry about the other night, but I was really stressed, so you understand, right?“ his friend smiled and patted his back. 

To Ash’s relief, the pan was fine when he inspected it.

“Ash?”

It was strange and uncomfortable whenever anyone apologized to him, even if it was his friend. 

“Oh, yeah. You don’t have to apologize, Sebas. It was my fault for being slow, so I’m sorry for that night,” Ash responded earnestly. 

Sebastian grinned and slapped Ash’s back. “It’s cool, man. Keep up the good work, eh?”

“T-thank you!” Ash beamed at the compliment; they were rare and far in between. He wanted to do his best today. Not to receive more compliments, but to keep his mind off yesterday’s events. 

A monotonous hour passed, aside from a server making out with a hostess in the walk-in freezer, nothing else happened. 

Another hour, and now his condition worsened. A lot. He changed the dressing yesterday, but it was already coming apart. 

He sighed and wished that he didn’t mess up so badly yesterday. When he saw AJ yesterday, Ash wondered if he would wrap his hand again if he asked nicely. But he blew it. 

Why am I such a failure? Why why why?

After he came to his senses yesterday, he picked up two bags off the ground, and several strangers gave him dirty looks as they passed by. He felt terrible that AJ turned down the painkillers that he brought him, but it turned out that he didn’t need them anyway. 

He took both bags home; he planned to return AJ’s bag today or tomorrow. 

And the notebook. AJ has definitely seen what was inside. 

His book only had two blank pages left. He was diligent about filling the pages so that he wouldn’t have to buy a new one for a while. Everyone in his life had told him to stop drawing, that it was the devil’s work, so he rarely had a chance to draw when he was younger; he was making up for lost time now, drawing as often as he could.

There was also a pack of pens. His favorite yellow pen was still missing; he bought a yellow one so that it would stand out and he wouldn't lose it. He wanted to rip open the package and start working on the new notebook. A scene played out in his mind; there was a long counter, and behind it was a man with a brilliant smile, mixing a tall, blue drink for the guest in front of him. 

It was a good thing that his hand was injured. 

Deep down, he wanted the blank notebook and pens to be for him, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Curiously, the other one in the bag was a lined notebook; he wasn’t sure what that was all about, but it was none of his business.

An idea popped into his head. They wouldn’t have time to call the police on him if he left the bag by the bar's back door; he was a pretty good sprinter.

Sebastian approached him while he daydreamed and waved his hands in front of his face, “hello? Is anyone here?”

Ash jumped and caught himself on the sink to regain his balance. “W-what?”

Again?! Why am I so distracted?! I almost dropped another pan!

“There’s a hottie out front asking for you. I told him that I wasn’t sure if you were working,” 

“W-who?” A sudden twinkle appeared in Ash’s eyes, and his heart raced as he listened to Sebastian’s description of the inquiring stranger.

“I don’t know who he is. He wore sunglasses, but I could tell that he was cute. Black hair, piercings, pretty tall too. He asked if the blonde dishie was working,” Sebastian shrugged, then flicked Ash’s forehead.

“O-ouch!! What was that for?” Ash rubbed his forehead with his wet hand.

“You weren’t paying attention. What are you thinking about anyway? You spaced out just a minute ago too. Why is your face so red?

“You’re never this distracted. I can tell the guy to go away too if he’s a stalker or something.”

“NO! I mean, I’ll be right out. Just give me a minute,”  answered Ash, praying that Sebastian would stop probing him.

His friend smirked, “I’ll tell him to wait a bit longer, eh?” Sebastian walked away but turned his head right before leaving the kitchen and added, “don’t make him wait too long, though. He might just swim away.”  He teased Ash with a final wink before entering the dining area.

AJ came to see me !

Sebastian’s comments flew right over Ash’s head as he rushed to make himself somewhat presentable. Ash quickly tossed his grimy apron on an empty cart. He ran his fingers through his frizzy hair to style it, but all it did was wet his unmanageable hair. Ash yanked a few feet of brown paper towels from the wall dispenser and dried his arms, chest, and face off as best as he could. 

He narrowly missed a waitress when he dashed across the restaurant. Would AJ wait for him? Even though it only took him less than a minute to dry himself, he was still worried.

Ash’s heart sank when he saw the lone hostess leaning on the front podium. 

He was too late.