Later that day, by the time I snuck down to the space under the balcony, he was already there waiting, with a big grin and arms wide. I smiled and jogged over.
His hugs were the best.
After a bit, we got comfortable, sitting down on the dirt and grass. I sat between his legs, resting back against him as we watched the colors of the sky change. It was like watching the sun set, but without seeing the sun. This was the perfect spot to watch the sun rise.
But this was nice too.
I closed my eyes.
“I wish it could stay like this forever.”
“Me too.”
I could feel him nodding as he rested his chin on my shoulder. His arms were wrapped around my front and my own were resting on his.
“Why’s your family waiting to take the trip until you’re 17?”
He told me that his parents were already planning a cross-country trip. They were going to stay at some of the other packs along the way, including his uncle’s.
I just…
They were planning to be gone for several months, maybe even up to a year. It made me sad. I wasn’t going to be able to see him for a long time once they set off on the trip. It made me recall the past four years all over again. Were we really meant to be parting this much?
It seemed unfair.
“Something along the lines of family bonding time before I start looking for my mate and finding where I want to settle down.”
I sighed and curled into him more. He readjusted his arms around me, his hands resting on my stomach.
“I hope you know that I’ve always liked you.”
He grinned.
“You know, you’re the coolest person here. I’ve always been excited to see you at these.” He lightly tapped his head against mine. “I guess now we both know why.”
“Being true mates only works halfway, you know. We did this on our own…”
I hesitated.
“Hm?”
He leaned away to look at me better. I bit my lip a little.
“Can we really keep this between us?”
“Not tell anyone at all?”
I nodded.
“I think we can, if we don’t meet up all the time. Since… it seems we have a tendency to get caught up in the moment as is.” He added the last part sheepishly.
I sighed and nodded, still unable to say anything, as I’d just try and explain why we couldn’t do that… because I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to be away from him ever again, but that wasn’t our reality now if we were going to keep it a secret. We’d have to be apart when his family left on the trip regardless of how I felt about it.
And… he made a good point.
We did… get really caught up at the lake. Just the reminder of our little secret moment had me feeling even warmer.
“We can write each other notes,” he added quietly. “I just feel like if everyone learns about it now it’ll get weird and I don’t want it to get weird between us.”
“I don’t either,” I replied honestly.
“How about this – coded notes and a carrier bird?”
“Coded?”
So we could write whatever we wanted and not have anyone else be able to easily read it? It sounded nice.
“Yeah, like this.”
He shifted a little and pulled an unused napkin out his pocket. I grinned as he reached around to use my leg as a table, his head peering over my shoulder. He practically pulled a pen out of nowhere and started writing down a code.
It was simple.
Almost like Morse code, but using the dits and dahs – the dots and dashes – to make symbols. ‘A’ was a dot above a dash, ‘B’ was two dots above a dash, evenly spaced. Up until it reached four dots, and then the next was a vertical line with a dot next to it, and so on.
Then, after going through the alphabet, he made a code for regularly used words.
The. And. You.
They each had their own special symbol, not like the letters, instead of having to write out each letter of each word over and over. A couple of the symbols were the different suits for playing cards. A diamond. A spade.
There were a few other words he wrote out like that, and then, as he reached the bottom of the napkin, he wrote one more. It made me giggle happily.
He wrote ‘I love you’ in the bottom corner, but instead of putting a simpler version, he just drew a heart around the words before looking at me expectantly.
I smiled and nodded which prompted him to smile big too.
He handed it to me, leaning ever closer.
“Your copy, Ma’am.”
I laughed and held it, looking it over again and again. For one, to have such a skill in writing on napkins neatly and clearly while using my thigh as a table, I could almost place a bet that he could write on any material, anywhere.
“Why, thank you, Sir.”
I turned my head and touched my lips to his for the briefest of moments before looking away, biting my lip. Somehow, he managed to pull me even closer to him and peppered my cheek with kisses.
“You’re such a tease,” he whispered in my ear as his fingers found my sides, tickling me.
I tried to stifle my laughter best I could, but his fingers were tireless in their effort to make me laugh.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
I guess I deserved it. I might’ve had random longings to just touch his hand or his back or poke the back of his head… all day long.
Nobody noticed.
It was fine.
Innocent–
“Okay! Okay!”
He stopped tickling me and I sighed before gasping for the breaths he’d stolen from me. The second I was able to truly catch my breath as he wrapped me safely in his arms again…
That was when someone opened the door above us, someone stepping out onto the balcony boards above us.
We didn’t dare look up, we dared hardly breathe, lest they hear us down here.
Who, though? Who was it?
There were two sets of footsteps, one heavier than the other.
It sounded familiar to me. Almost like…
“Where is she? It’s almost time to head back.”
I froze.
Crap.
That… If that was my mother, then–
“She’ll be back on time. When has she ever been late?”
It was my parents. Both of them.
My dad had arrived early in the afternoon to deliver something to Adam and Bay, the leaders of the Northern Pack. They’d decided earlier that the three of us, my parents and I, would head back together and Kat and Aunt Karen would stay another day up here and drive back down in the car we rode here in.
I had more time, though.
Mom shouldn’t be getting anxious yet. I had another hour. Unless she…
“I’m just getting worried.”
“She’s an adult. She’s gonna have to go places on her own at some point.”
“We were both older than her when…”
“She’s not a twin, Kelly.” My father’s words were blunt and there were a few seconds of silence following them.
I felt myself tense up more. I knew enough, enough of my parent’s story. How they met… how they were separated… how he’d almost died saving her from a twin prison.
I knew enough for those words to make me uncomfortable.
I couldn’t help it, I lifted a hand to my mouth, covering it before I made a noise… any noise.
“And neither are you,” my mother whispered, and I heard the tears that had to be growing in her eyes. “People have been attacking Blackstones for a long time. Practically since the day wolf shifters came into existence. You, Jane, and William…” Her voice broke as she trailed off for a second. “I am not losing any of you. For any reason.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I could block out this conversation, wishing I didn’t have to hear it at all.
It was something I’d always known.
My family wasn’t like the others.
Born with a rare last name, being one of only a few carrying this bloodline of an original Alpha… Somehow, unlike the others descended from one of the five original Alphas, ours were targeted.
Blackstone descendants.
To be killed.
The aunt I never knew, the cousin I never had the chance to meet. My grandparents…
They’d all been hunted down like animals.
Murdered.
It was why my parents had asked their skilled friends to teach me how to defend myself. Why William was taught too… and why he was so interested in those who were defending the packs.
This was our life.
Our life was to cling to life, to our beating hearts, as best we could.
Was it wrong to drag Lee into it?
This mess?
Was it… selfish to still ask him to be by my side?
No matter what age I was, no matter where I was, there was always this weight on my shoulders. My parents didn’t intend for me to carry it, but it wasn’t like they’d put it there. I did… because there might still be those out there with a knife and a name stuck in their mind. They didn’t need a reason to put the crosshairs on us.
They didn’t really need a reason to kill us at this point.
Not anymore.
It was like it was their way of life, their duty to kill the Blackstone line, despite what the original motive might have been.
As if something was done wrong a long time ago, that nobody remembered anymore.
And that…
All of that was another reason why I didn’t want to tell everyone about us. Somehow, I wanted it like that in an effort to keep him safe from an enemy I didn’t even know.
If nobody knew, then nobody would know to take him to get to me.
Just until I figure something out, something more permanent.
My father sighed.
“Let’s give her ten more minutes.” There was a moment of silence. “Come on, Kel. Let’s head back in.”
“Ten minutes. That’s it.”
But before they were back inside, I heard him.
“Did you have a vision?” he whispered.
My throat tightened more, almost painfully.
Don’t…
Don’t say that this…
That it won’t work.
That I can’t… protect him…
“It felt like it was happening now. He said her name. He said Jane Karrie Blackstone.” My mother’s voice fell. She mumbled, “and Cian… Cian admitted to me that he saw something that would happen. That someone wanted–”
The door closed, cutting them off.
Cian… he had powers like my mom, but his worked differently. His was stronger. He could see the future without touching anyone.
I let out the breath I was holding before slowly untangling myself from Lee and standing up. I brushed off my pants silently, unable to meet his eyes.
“I should… I should get back up there.”
He stood and brushed off his clothes a bit before putting his hands on my shoulders. I stared at his chest, unable to ease his worries or my own.
“Hey.” He ducked his head down to my level to catch my gaze.
And he did.
I stared into his eyes, not sure what I was expecting to find there, and didn’t know how to describe what exactly I did find.
He attempted a smile for my sake, as forced as it looked, I appreciated it all the more.
“It’s going to be okay.”
The words were like a gentle caress, his smile was like that glimmer of moonlight on the darkest night. His eyes, staring into mine, kept me from shivering in the cold alone.
I flung myself at him.
He caught me in his arms and held me just as desperately as I was clinging on to him. I sniffled, unable to stop it. I felt him shudder as he took a shaky breath in, like he was going to cry too.
No…
I can’t have you crying too…
“Don’t you dare cry,” I whispered, patting him lightly on the back.
He laughed lightly, tucking his head down next to mine, resting his forehead against my shoulder.
Only a minute passed like that, with us in each other’s embrace… and then it was gone. We parted, for me to leave.
For me to go.
I – I didn’t want to go.
But, I had to.
I pursed my lips.
“Send me a letter?”
He smiled and nodded.
“I will.”
As I headed up onto the balcony, I thought I caught a glimpse of something. A flash in the distance. I paused and focused on the direction I thought I saw it coming from.
I sighed when I saw nothing.
Heh.
It wasn’t like I could go investigate or anything. It was probably just the moon reflecting on something metal.
Actually, it seemed less and less likely I’d be able to go anywhere on my own for a while.
Even if I wanted to.
Even if I begged.
I looked past the railing as I paused on the balcony for a few seconds, seeing the world in the beauty and danger of night.
“It’s going to be okay.”
I nodded, running my hand along the edge of the wood before turning to go inside.
I hope so, Lee. I really hope so.
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