Lou’s eyes fluttered at my question and clasped his hands. “Oh, Lizzie, did you hear that? Darzsa’s finally going to join us.”

“Careful, Lou. They’ll smudge.” Ramoana twisted the cap and tossed the polish in Lou’s bag. 

Liz tapped a brush on her palette and winked at me. “So you’ll be more than this old gal’s personal assistant and finally eat with us again.”

“Darzsa isn’t my assistant, and maybe if you had better friends, you could find someone to paint that leathery mug of yours.”

Elizabeth Dupree was on the other side of Lou, rounding out the trio I spent my time with outside of work. She was all leg and beauty and Lou’s first friend here. “You know, Darzsa, with your skill, you could go out there and make your own money instead of being a miracle worker back here.” Liz laughed and opened her mascara cake.

“Don’t bother. I’ve been asking for almost a year,” Lou said. “With those cheekbones, you’d have a full house.” He untangled his necklace and grinned at me. “Get in the chair.”

Lou squeezed in a request every time, and my answer was always, “No.”

“Please? Just the eyes and a little bit of blush.”

“Let her get some practice in,” Liz said. “You should see that face when you’re not here.”

Lou clenched his jaw and muttered something in Spanish. “At least think about it, Darzsa.”

If only I could tell Lou that I’d thought about it nonstop for the past couple of weeks. I didn’t care about the stage or stuffing bills into a bra, but I couldn’t forget the satisfaction of putting on that lipstick.  

“I’m fine doing this,” I told Lou. “Even if I did, when would I have time to get you together?”

Ramoana joined in and said, “It’s still too bad, though. You shake out one of these Mari La Flor-original wigs, and you could walk out just like that. We need some fresh blood around here. Other than...well…”

“Did you mean me?” 

The last seat in this unconventional court sat Jasmine L’Oreal. So named for the brand, but Lou swore she swiped her name. The epitome of style and grace and naturally arched eyebrows. That’s how Lou always described her and were the very reasons he despised her. When she walked, she floated across the floor, hips perfectly rounded without a bump or bunch. Meanwhile, I hoped Lou didn’t make too many trips to the diner and could still fit in this dress.

“Darzsa, dear, it is always good to see you back here,” Jasmine said. “I always love how you turn a little homeliness into regal beauty. I wouldn’t mind if you offered your expertise down on the other end.”

“You’d spend less time going under the knife,” Lou said. 

“Would that be the same amount of time you spend in a dental chair?” Jasmine raised her brow at Lou and waved her gloved hand at him. “See you ladies out there.”

Lou’s freshly colored lips pursed so thin I thought I’d have to reapply it. He wasn’t sensitive about many things, but the gap in his front teeth was a pitfall that no one hardly made it out of on a good day. Nothing short of appeasing Lou’s fragile ego calmed him down, but I was short on time, and he looked far too ridiculous halfway dressed.

“Hurry up and get me into this dress—that puta madre.” Lou threw the garment bag on the floor. “Where are my shoes?”

The rest of the girls either scrambled to finish getting ready or helped Lou find whatever else he needed. They knew too well that Lou’s attitude was bad enough, but when that wig was secured, Mari La Flor was a force to be reckoned with.

“Stay still so I can zip you up,” I said. Dealing with any version of Lou in this state was a nightmare. “You may need to lose some of this padding.”

“And lose my figure? I think not. I’ll suck in some more.”

“If you suck in any more, you’ll pass out.” 

“Beauty is pain.” Lou angled his body in hopes that I could get some slack. “And if I pass out, I hope I fall on that bitch, and she chips of those perfect teeth.” 

Ramoana held the fabric taut, speaking a mile a minute in Spanish and shutting Lou up long enough for me to get him in this dress. I decorated Lou in ice, and he stepped into his heels.

“Don’t bend over too much,” I advised.

“I’ll save that for when I take it off.” Lou winked and brushed out his wig before situating it. “How do I look?”

“Gorgeous as always.” The rest of the girls agreed and threw more compliments—happy a crisis had been averted. 

“Showtime then.” She sprayed perfume and took one last look in the mirror. “You’re the best. You’ll be out there? And for sure tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be there.”

“Better yet, I’ll pick you up.”

“You don’t trust me to meet you there?”

“Of course, I don’t, mi amor.” Miss La Flor fluffed her hair and blew me a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow with our bosom bucks.”

She left with Ramoana and Liz, and slowly the other girls filed out. In the distance, the crowd roared. I knew Lou would stun them all. I could dress him up and make him a beauty queen, but Lou had a presence that made you want to see more of him; the way he commanded attention was unmatched. I had to believe that; otherwise, we probably wouldn’t be so close. 

I packed up my and Lou’s things to throw them in the back of my car before finding an unassuming spot to watch the performance. But the palettes and tubes were magnetic to my fingers. No one was around—none of them had any reason to come back into the room. Should they?

The eyeshadow was still in my hand, and not all the brushes were put away. I should see how this purple looked on my lids. The loose powder fell on my lashes like it did on Lou. Guess I needed mascara to cover up the excess. I batted my eyes in the mirror and caught myself beaming, so I added another coat.

I dug through the bags within bags and found the same shade of red I had at home. A touch of blush, and I saw what they meant—I did have the cheekbones for this. My reflection had completeness to it, and I didn’t know if that relieved or horrified me. 

Some abandoned wigs lay on the counter, short dos or some more classic waves. I’d never worn one, but tonight was about taking chances, and I had already come this far. I fitted it onto my head, and I was no longer myself; I saw my mother, my Nanny, and every other woman in my family.  

My dad’s voice rang in my ears. All the taunts I’d heard around me echoed in this room. And they were there. My family was there, staring back at me, confirming what they knew about me. 

I tore off the wig and wiped off the makeup as best I could, running to the small bathroom hidden in one of these rooms. Thankfully the faraway cheers and dying bulbs protected me from being seen in this state, not when I’m sure I looked like a creature out of some B movie. 

I slung everything I came with over my shoulder and dashed to the back exit. Lou would forgive me by the end of the year, but I couldn’t go back inside. The stage, the masses, the sparkling reminders of something else I was missing—I’d croak out there. My car was within spitting distance, and I fumbled for my keys, but a shadow crossed my path, and I collided with something solid.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Someone’s hand steadied me, but I wish I’d taken the tumble. That voice was familiar and the last one I expected or wanted to hear.