Penelope could hear Nolan’s yelp through the walls. Guess that’s the right switch, Penelope thought, after she located the valve to turn off the hot water under the sink. Good thing she used to tag along on her father’s plumbing calls.

Penelope walked slowly back towards the bedroom. “Is everything ok?” she yelled innocently through the bathroom door.

“The water, it’s freezing!” Nolan yelled back, as he turned the shower off.

“Maybe you used up all of the hot water,” Penelope said sweetly.

“No way, I wasn’t in here that long!” Nolan exclaimed. “Hey, can you grab me a towel from my bag?”

“Sure,” Penelope said, knowing she had no interest in helping him. She walked across the room so Nolan would hear her footsteps, but she was nowhere near his bag.

“Sorry, I can’t find it,” she yelled after a moment, staring at the bathroom door.

“Fine, I’ll just uhh…Can you turn away from the door?” Nolan asked, as the door started to open. Nolan, dripping wet, maneuvered himself as well he could while holding his hands over his crotch.

Penelope couldn't help herself from stealing a glance at his muscular frame—and then giggled at his awkward walk across the room—before quickly looking away.

“Sorry,” she said, facing the wall.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nolan said as we crossed behind her. “Something wrong with the pipes in this apartment,” he muttered.

“Sorry to hear that,” Penelope said, feigning compassion. “Maybe this place isn’t so perfect, after all.”

She heard Nolan digging around in his bag in the main room. “The towel was right on top!” he called with exasperation.

“Was it?” Penelope replied, letting herself giggle again. “Well listen, it’s been a long day, I think I’m going to turn in for the night. I’ll see you in the morning!”

Before Nolan could respond, she closed the door and turned the lock.

Pleased with herself, Penelope was excited for a good night’s rest. And then she realized…she didn’t have a bed.

***

The next morning, both Nolan and Penelope woke up unhappy. Penelope had tried making a cushion of sweatshirts on the floor, which really wasn’t as effective as she hoped. Her neck ached as she reached for her phone to Google “fastest delivery mattress.”

In the main room, Nolan was feeling pain too, from scrunching into the couch that Flo had left behind. He had tried pulling out the bed and discovered the springs were rusted and immovable, so he gave up, still shivering from the cold shower. At least it’s more comfortable than sleeping in the car, he thought to himself, as he curled into a ball.

As the sunlight hit Nolan’s face, he blinked twice, forgetting for a moment where he was. And then he remembered: Brooklyn. Apartment. Nightmare roommate.

His next thought was: coffee.

Nolan padded in bare feet to the kitchen and searched the cabinets for a coffee maker. It’s Brooklyn. Surely the last person who lived here was a caffeine addict like the rest of us.

“Ah ha!” he said out loud, discovering an old drip machine in a high cabinet. If I know one thing about New York, it’s that coffee is never more than a few feet in front of me—or above me.

Nolan turned on the faucet and held out his hand to test the water temperature. Still cold, he thought. It’s only November, the pipes can’t be frozen yet.

Luckily, Nolan had many jobs in his life, including an amatuer handyman. He opened the cabinets under the sink and poked around. When he saw the valve for hot water turned off, he shook his head. “Penny,” he said out loud, annoyed.

***

Penelope had just hit the “order” button on the mattress—followed by a gold bed frame that she had on her Pinterest board—and was already unsure if she had made the right decision to add to her credit card debt. But she’d have to worry about that later. First, caffeine.

As she was about to get dressed so she could head to the coffee shop, there was a knock at her bedroom door.

“Hey, Penny, you up? I’ve got coffee.” Nolan softly said through the closed door.

That’s nice, thought Penelope. And then, what did he call me?

Penelope opened the door in her yoga pants and t-shirt. “Hey thanks, I really appreciate it,” she said, gladly taking the coffee from him, which she could see was steaming.

“No problem,” he answered, smiling broadly. He waited while she took it from him.

“You sleep ok?” Penelope said, observing his strange look.

“Oh sure, that cold shower really knocked me out,” he said, still smiling.

“Good,” Penelope said, raising the coffee to her mouth and taking a gulp.

And almost as soon as she did, she spit it right back into the cup.

“Ugh, God, what is that?” she asked, the sour taste still in her mouth.

“Oh, is it not good?” Nolan asked innocently. “So sorry about that. You know it looks like someone turned off the hot water yesterday - maybe that affected the water in the pipes.”

“Really?” asked Penelope, trying to maintain her innocence. “Who would have done that?”

“No idea,” said Nolan. “But if that person wanted a competition, she’s got it.”