"Wake up!"

I instantly opened my eyes.

I looked to my right and there was Sophie with a big smile on her face.

"'What are you doing standing there?'"

I asked, scratching my eyes.

How long has it been there?

I dare say he had been waiting there for hours for me to wake up.

Don't you ever sleep?

"Sorry, I couldn't wait for today's mission!"

she says this while jumping up and down with excitement.

she eyes look so tired, it is obvious he has not slept well.

I cannot understand how he maintains his energy without rest.

i gets out of bed to get dressed.

"Hurry up!"

Sophie said and left my room and ran downstairs.

I quickly dressed in my white apostolic uniform, which consisted of a white shirt and waistcoat with a pair of tight white pants.

I quickly left my room and began walking down the castle stairs to the great hall where today's mission would be given.

This castle can be called the heart of Eden because it is located on the central island.

It is here that we, the apostles, were trained. Here we learned to fight and magic in order to protect Eden from the world inhabited by cursed beasts.

The castle could be described as cosy, it is gray inside, with lots of fine red carpets, quite high from floor to ceiling, always well lit, lots of pictures representing the ancient apostles, and many gorgeous details.

After all, the castle has been here for a long time and belongs to one of the wealthiest families in Eden, so it is only natural to appreciate all the luxuries that are here.

Nevertheless, the millionaires in here treat us very well, respect us, and allow us to enjoy the same luxuries they do. So you could say that they treat us as if it were the last day of our lives.

"I must get there soon..."

I start running as fast as I can to get to the place.

I am already at the meeting place. I finally arrive after running for a while.

I open the big door that leads to the living room. So a creaking sound was left behind and it spread throughout the place.

By the sound of the door, everyone knew I was late.

As soon as I opened the door, everyone stopped talking and looked at me.

Because I was late, all eyes in the hall were on me. In the background, I could see Sophie waving excitedly.

They are sitting in a circle around a table, probably planning their next mission, as the table is lined with multiple papers and drawings.

I started to walk over to sit in my chair, but the critical glances of those present followed me the entire time.

Once I sat down they stopped looking at me.

"Do you have any explanation for your tardiness?"

The queen, Seraphine, asked this without looking at me. My gaze never left the paper, completely focused on the planning.

"The truth is I have no excuse, I just fell asleep."

I replied with sincerity.

"It's okay ..."

"I will now explain the plan to Roxanne."

does not seem to mind my delay.

"Here's the situation, Roxanne, there's a food shortage, the agricultural areas have shrunk too much lately, they haven't expanded their safe zones in recent years, so we're in the same place we were a few years ago."

"If this continues, we will die of neglect."

She is right, we are limited in our ability to survive in this place, and in some respects we have fallen prey to some kind of beast every time we go out to explore.

Absolutely every exploration we have done as a team has all failed. We found no useful people or things to help us continue to fight the beast, only destroyed villages, civilizations, and sad corpses of innocent people. There is also the issue of food and agriculture in the villages, which is largely up to the villagers and there are many areas where they can plant. So there is not much to do there.

"What is the plan you have in mind?"

I asked her simply.

"My only job is to go out with a team of seven and find a place to move some tokens. If possible, we want to have fertile soil where we can continue to plant food where the beasts aren't."

she said that.

"That plan won't work at all!"

With that said, I got up from my chair and tapped the table.

Their plan is completely suicidal and we will get no benefit from it.

"Hey, Roxanne, calm down, you know you shouldn't be so angry about the plan, after all it was done by someone we can completely trust."

"Needless to say, you have no right to disrespect our lady Seraphine."

Sophie nervously tries to speak something meaningful to calm me down.

I, however, can only bite my lip as I think of the ridiculous plan he has come up with.

"Why do you trust me so little?"

Our queen says it while looking at me intently

Her eyes on me seem to be trying to provoke me.

"I understand. I am sorry."

Sophie notices that I have calmed down and looks much relieved.

"I know that Roxanne blames me for what happened on the expedition a few months ago."

As soon as she said this, I looked back at her face with deep hatred. He never gave the event any importance. In fact, for a long time he thought about it as if it had never happened.

Why would he now name a failed mission that happened months ago?

To this day, she never speaks of this tragic mission and has not given it importance for a long time. I cannot stop replaying it in my head. The same question came up again.

"Why are you saying this now?"

I ask this angrily, but she just smiles.

"I am only saying this so that you realize your mistake..."

"My plan that day was well thought out and you executed it badly in practice".

She told me without thinking twice as he was trying to piss me off or at least that is what I think ...

"I don't know what you are talking about . I followed that plan perfectly that day."

I say it, forcing my composure not to lose control.

"That day, you did not follow that plan at all."

"You behaved with your usual arrogance, taking a few soldiers to avoid unnecessary deaths, and the same day a new apostle who had just joined your group was killed."

"It became the very thing that happened that day and continued to occur on subsequent missions."

"That's why you fail in most of your missions, you always want people's lives, and in the end it backfires."

In a word, you call me useless.

Whatever she says is not my fault. I cannot let a man unfit for combat fight against a man-eating beast.

"All the missions you ordered were only to use the soldiers as food against the beasts..."

I am trying to say it quietly so I do not lose control of myself. So now I try to stare at the ground because looking into his eyes only makes me more angry.

"Anyway, that is why they join our army."

She says this without any remorse.

Is she really saying that or is he trying to provoke me?

I don't know what your intention is in saying that much.

"Are you seriously suggesting that the lives of those people do not matter?"

As everyone listens silently to the discussion, environmental tensions begin to rise.

"These lives have a purpose and will not die in vain. Without their lives, most of the missions that have been carried out during this period would not have been possible."

It is as if they only focus on the accomplishment of all the missions and do not consider how many lives each mission took.

It's a selfish thought that I've never understood until now.

"The soldiers we send to the battlefield as bait also have families. They want to get home safely."

"We can't ignore that fact."

I tell her this as everyone looks on, trying to convince her somehow.

"I tell you in a way you can understand."

"On that assignment a few months ago, we were split into two groups, your group and jax's."

"Jax's group suffered the deaths of many soldiers, but what he gained from his mission has benefited Eden to this day."

"But on the other hand, your group just..."

As soon as she said this, I quickly got up from my chair and approached her quickly and aggressively.

They stopped me at once.

"There is no need to repeat to me what happened that day!"

"I remember exactly what happened that day!"

It is true, I remember, I remember every second of that fateful mission ...